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I have noticed an obvious lack of humor in this forum...

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  • replied
    Bumpage for this jokethread!

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  • replied
    Flak is scaring me. :cry:
    You have seriously confused me. :up:

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  • replied
    flak, that's sick.

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  • replied
    Rules of combat:

    Xan

    *Bring a weapon. Preferably, bring at least two. Bring all of your friends who have weapons. Bring their friends who have weapons.
    *Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
    *Only hits count. Close doesn't count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
    *If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough, nor using cover correctly.
    *Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
    *If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a big weapon and a friend with a big weapon.
    *In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived and who didn't.
    *If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
    *Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting is more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the weapon.
    *Use a weapon that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel ****** in the flintlock of your musket."
    *Someday someone may kill you with your own weapon, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
    *In combat, there are no rules, always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
    *Have a plan.
    *Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
    *Use cover or concealment as much as possible. The visible target should be in FRONT of YOUR weapon.
    *Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
    *Don't drop your guard.
    *Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
    *Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
    *Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
    *The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
    *Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
    *Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
    *Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
    *Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a ".4."

    Skaarj

    *See Xan Rules for combat
    *Add 60 to 90 days
    *Hope the Xan already destroyed all meaningful resistance


    Mercs

    *Spend three weeks getting somewhere
    *Adopt an aggressive posture
    *Send in the Xan
    *Drink Coffee
    *Bring back the Xan


    Hellions

    *Kiss your girl/guy good-bye
    *Grab a target painter
    *Fly to target area, drop bombs, fly back.
    *Pop in at the club for a couple with the guys
    *Go home, BBQ some burgers and drink some more beer.

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  • replied
    Gorge and Frostbite were playing football and they kept a break and Frostbite said: "Now it's your time to be the ball!"

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  • replied
    A skaarj warrior is traveling over a dense body laden lava feild, he slips and falls and then a genie comes and says he has 1 sish, he wishes for a translocator, then he wishes for the beacon to be placed on the platform, he translocates then realises his momentum was kept. he says "I wish i hadn't done that"


    Yeah lame.

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  • replied
    Three Skaarjs were arguing about their qualities.
    First one said: "I'm the most intelligent!"
    Second one said: "I'm the strongest!"
    The third one said: "I'm teh ugliest!"

    Then they decided to ask the God about this.

    First one entered heaven and came back: "Yay! I'm the most intelligent!"
    Second one: "Whoohoo! I'm the strongest!"
    Thirdone: "Who the heck is George W. Bush?"

    *hides from flaming*

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  • replied
    I think I'll go find a joke inside my head... Gonna post later if I find one...

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  • replied
    When DrSin saw the thread on the bounus pack: "Holy S***! ok who let the Nalicat out of the bag?"





    I know its lame, but at least I tried

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  • replied
    Sense moral of this thread: If you have a sense of humor,dont read it.

    Sorry,but that was one of the lamest **** jokes i´ve read..and it was long too!

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  • replied
    :haha::up:

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  • replied

    "This isn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted to play Jailbreak 2004..."

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  • replied
    Originally posted by Discord

    So Damarus goes to see DrSiN with a bad knee. He does a boostdodge in the examination room and says, "Doc it hurts when I go like this!"

    So DrSiN says, "Don't go like that." *rimshot*

    So then Damarus says "Doc I want a second opinion."

    DrSiN says, "OK, you fight like Nali too." *rimshot*

    DrSiN says, "That'll be $39.95," Damarus says "What, no rebate?!" *rimshot*
    lol :haha: ... runs off to find doctor jokes hehe :weird:

    OMG ... I can't even bring myself to hack this one:

    Doctor: "I've got very bad news. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's."
    Patient: "Well, at least I don't have cancer"

    Jebus - still crying at that ... lolol

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  • replied
    Originally posted by UberBone
    Jebus ... now I can see that lack of humour you're talking about!!

    Did that honestly make you laugh as you wrote it? Can I have
    some? :bulb:
    hahahah :up:

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  • replied
    Two Nalis walk into a bar...

    You'd think one of 'em would've seen it! *rimshot*



    So Damarus goes to see DrSiN with a bad knee. He does a boostdodge in the examination room and says, "Doc it hurts when I go like this!"

    So DrSiN says, "Don't go like that." *rimshot*

    So then Damarus says "Doc I want a second opinion."

    DrSiN says, "OK, you fight like Nali too." *rimshot*

    DrSiN says, "That'll be $39.95," Damarus says "What, no rebate?!" *rimshot*



    Leave a comment:

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