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I have noticed an obvious lack of humor in this forum...

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    #16
    Three Skaarjs were arguing about their qualities.
    First one said: "I'm the most intelligent!"
    Second one said: "I'm the strongest!"
    The third one said: "I'm teh ugliest!"

    Then they decided to ask the God about this.

    First one entered heaven and came back: "Yay! I'm the most intelligent!"
    Second one: "Whoohoo! I'm the strongest!"
    Thirdone: "Who the heck is George W. Bush?"

    *hides from flaming*

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      #17
      A skaarj warrior is traveling over a dense body laden lava feild, he slips and falls and then a genie comes and says he has 1 sish, he wishes for a translocator, then he wishes for the beacon to be placed on the platform, he translocates then realises his momentum was kept. he says "I wish i hadn't done that"


      Yeah lame.

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        #18
        Gorge and Frostbite were playing football and they kept a break and Frostbite said: "Now it's your time to be the ball!"

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          #19
          Rules of combat:

          Xan

          *Bring a weapon. Preferably, bring at least two. Bring all of your friends who have weapons. Bring their friends who have weapons.
          *Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
          *Only hits count. Close doesn't count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
          *If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough, nor using cover correctly.
          *Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
          *If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a big weapon and a friend with a big weapon.
          *In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived and who didn't.
          *If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
          *Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting is more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the weapon.
          *Use a weapon that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel ****** in the flintlock of your musket."
          *Someday someone may kill you with your own weapon, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
          *In combat, there are no rules, always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
          *Have a plan.
          *Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
          *Use cover or concealment as much as possible. The visible target should be in FRONT of YOUR weapon.
          *Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
          *Don't drop your guard.
          *Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
          *Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
          *Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
          *The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
          *Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
          *Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
          *Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
          *Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a ".4."

          Skaarj

          *See Xan Rules for combat
          *Add 60 to 90 days
          *Hope the Xan already destroyed all meaningful resistance


          Mercs

          *Spend three weeks getting somewhere
          *Adopt an aggressive posture
          *Send in the Xan
          *Drink Coffee
          *Bring back the Xan


          Hellions

          *Kiss your girl/guy good-bye
          *Grab a target painter
          *Fly to target area, drop bombs, fly back.
          *Pop in at the club for a couple with the guys
          *Go home, BBQ some burgers and drink some more beer.

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            #20
            flak, that's sick.

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              #21
              Flak is scaring me. :cry:
              You have seriously confused me. :up:

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                #22
                Bumpage for this jokethread!

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