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I have noticed an obvious lack of humor in this forum...

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    I have noticed an obvious lack of humor in this forum...

    To compensate, terribly lame UT2k4 JOKES!

    A Mokkra walks in to a bar, and the bar tender asks: "Why the long face?" To which the reply was "Lag".

    Why did the player drop the flag? Because he was dead.

    -------------------------------------------

    Gaargod and his new puny human slave Betty were vacationing on Earth, as it happens, in Transylvania. They were driving in a rental Goliath along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Gaargod could barely see 20 feet in front of the tank. Suddenly the tank skids out of control! Gaargod attempts to control the tank, but to no avail! The tank swerves and smashes into a tree, continues going, and finally stops at a concrete titanium wall.
    Moments later, Gaargod shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his puny human slave unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Gaargod knows he has to carry her to the nearest communication node.
    Gaargod picks his puny human slave up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks.
    A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Gaargod says "Hello, my name is Gaargod, and this is my puny human slave Betty. We've been in a terrible accident due to your inanely stupid human roads, and my puny human slave has been seriously hurt. Allow me to use your pathetic communication device or prepare to be annihilated."
    "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a communication device. My master, however, is a medical specialist; come in and I will get him!" Gaargod brings his puny human slave in. An elegant man comes down the electromagnetic ramp in a wheel chair. It appears he’s a cripple and missing his legs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest medical center, and I have had some basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."
    With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Gaargod following closely with a flak cannon. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. They attempt to revive her, but to no avail. Betty has passed on.

    “Your stupid and petty human medical technology has cost me the life of a 50 credit puny human slave.”

    He points the flak cannon at Igor and fires, killing him instantly. He then points the flak cannon at the crippled doctor and fires again. The doctor dies too.

    Moral of the story: you can’t jump dodge flak shots if you have no legs.

    #2
    Jebus ... now I can see that lack of humour you're talking about!!

    Did that honestly make you laugh as you wrote it? Can I have some? :bulb:

    Comment


      #3
      "Moral of the story: you can’t jump dodge flak shots if you have no legs."

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by UberBone
        Jebus ... now I can see that lack of humour you're talking about!!

        Did that honestly make you laugh as you wrote it? Can I have some? :bulb:
        haha, you can't do any better. Go on, make me laugh with YOUR UT2k4 jokes.

        Comment


          #5
          OK ... I suppose I'm honour bound to make an attempt ...



          Help!

          "Send someone over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone.

          "Two Skaarj Warriors are climbing up toward my bedroom window!"

          "This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department."

          "No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a longer ladder!"

          :cry: - I'm a lazy, uninspired ******* :bulb:

          Comment


            #6
            Whats the difference between the l33t and the elite.

            the elite kick a$$hat

            Comment


              #7
              I sense a pattern coming on - c&p "Skaarj Warrior" into random jokes

              A Skaarj Warrior goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
              The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

              The Skaarj Warrior says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

              The bartender says, "What do you have?"

              The Skaarj Warrior says, "75 cents."


              :weird:


              Right, I'm off home to get P!ssed before the footy!!

              Come on England!! FFS!!!

              Comment


                #8
                Two Nalis walk into a bar...

                You'd think one of 'em would've seen it! *rimshot*



                So Damarus goes to see DrSiN with a bad knee. He does a boostdodge in the examination room and says, "Doc it hurts when I go like this!"

                So DrSiN says, "Don't go like that." *rimshot*

                So then Damarus says "Doc I want a second opinion."

                DrSiN says, "OK, you fight like Nali too." *rimshot*

                DrSiN says, "That'll be $39.95," Damarus says "What, no rebate?!" *rimshot*



                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by UberBone
                  Jebus ... now I can see that lack of humour you're talking about!!

                  Did that honestly make you laugh as you wrote it? Can I have
                  some? :bulb:
                  hahahah :up:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Discord

                    So Damarus goes to see DrSiN with a bad knee. He does a boostdodge in the examination room and says, "Doc it hurts when I go like this!"

                    So DrSiN says, "Don't go like that." *rimshot*

                    So then Damarus says "Doc I want a second opinion."

                    DrSiN says, "OK, you fight like Nali too." *rimshot*

                    DrSiN says, "That'll be $39.95," Damarus says "What, no rebate?!" *rimshot*
                    lol :haha: ... runs off to find doctor jokes hehe :weird:

                    OMG ... I can't even bring myself to hack this one:

                    Doctor: "I've got very bad news. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's."
                    Patient: "Well, at least I don't have cancer"

                    Jebus - still crying at that ... lolol

                    Comment


                      #11

                      "This isn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted to play Jailbreak 2004..."

                      Comment


                        #12
                        :haha::up:

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Sense moral of this thread: If you have a sense of humor,dont read it.

                          Sorry,but that was one of the lamest **** jokes i´ve read..and it was long too!

                          Comment


                            #14
                            When DrSin saw the thread on the bounus pack: "Holy S***! ok who let the Nalicat out of the bag?"





                            I know its lame, but at least I tried

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I think I'll go find a joke inside my head... Gonna post later if I find one...

                              Comment

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