Official 'Joke' thread 2004!

[legacy-undrtakr]

A trucker was driving his fully loaded rig to the
top of a steep hill. Just as he was starting down
the equally steep other side, he noticed a man
and a woman lying in the center of the road, making
wild and passionate love. In total disbelief, he blew
his air horn several times as he was bearing down
on them. He realized that they were not going to
stop or get out of his way, so he slammed on his
brakes and stopped just inches from them.

Furious, he got out of the cab and walked to the
front of the truck. He looked down at the two, still
in the road, and yelled, "What the hell's the matter
with you two? Didn't you hear me blowing the horn?
You could have been killed!"

Eventually, the man looked up at the truck driver,
obviously satisfied and not too concerned and said,
"Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you
were coming. You were the only one with brakes!"

this one doesn't really work in writing....but tell it to the ladies, its gauranteed laughs


Q: What did the mexican fireman name his kids?











A: Jose (or Hose A) and Hose B

muwawawa
:weird: :bulb: :weird: :up:

[toniglandyl]

:weird:
no comment

[legacy-shawneboy]

beer.blunt is cut.

[legacy-infernus78]

Originally posted by shawneboy
beer.blunt is cut.

hey come on its funny

anyways, tell this one to the ladies:

Q: Why dont women wear watches?










A: There's a clock on the stove

[legacy-Ashes2Flames]

if we're going to be mysoginistic:

Why do women get their periods?











They deserve it!

[legacy-Rev. DeadCorpse]

Dear Abby,

My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big ****ing red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Sincerely,
*****y in Boston

[||M@Yh3M||]

Originally posted by Ashes2Flames
if we're going to be mysoginistic:

Why do women get their periods?











They deserve it!

:haha: :haha: :haha:

[legacy-Dark_Spectre]

Originally posted by Ashes2Flames
if we're going to be mysoginistic:

Why do women get their periods?




They deserve it!

:haha: HAAAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, so true :haha: :haha: :cry: :haha:

[legacy-Imperial17]

the first one was funny as hell. here's my addition.

on a plane, there are 3 guys.
the smart guy in the world, the dumbest guy in the world, and an old man.
then the plan starts to disfunction and starts going down to crash. as they make plans for escape, they realize there are only two parachutes and 3 of them. so the smart guy says "Well, I'm the smartest person in the world, so clearly it needs me to survive", so he takes one and jumps out. then the old man says to the dumb guy, "you can go ahead and take the last one, i'm an old man and i'll die soon anyway". No, says the dumb guy, there are still two parachutes left, because the smartest guy in the world just jumped off with my backpack!

[legacy-undrtakr]

This one's kinda sick but whatever



There’s a shipwreck and only two men and a woman survive. They get washed up on an idyllic, but uninhabited desert island with next to no hope of rescue.

Eventually nature takes its course and both men begin a physical relationship with the woman. Love is in the air and all is well until she is suddenly taken ill and dies.

After a while sexual frustration gets to the men and once again nature takes its inevitable course.

Well, some months pass and what the men are doing begins to play on their minds. They become sickened and disgusted by what they are doing.



So they bury her again.

[legacy-undrtakr]

Another

A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits was that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year."
The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow."

[legacy-TomWithWeather]

Originally posted by undrtakr
So they bury her again.

Lol

[legacy-Dark_Spectre]

Originally posted by undrtakr
This one's kinda sick but whatever



There’s a shipwreck and only two men and a woman survive. They get washed up on an idyllic, but uninhabited desert island with next to no hope of rescue.

Eventually nature takes its course and both men begin a physical relationship with the woman. Love is in the air and all is well until she is suddenly taken ill and dies.

After a while sexual frustration gets to the men and once again nature takes its inevitable course.

Well, some months pass and what the men are doing begins to play on their minds. They become sickened and disgusted by what they are doing.



So they bury her again.

*projectile vomits V8 Splash Smoothie on monitor*

[legacy-TomWithWeather]

Two guys have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at
death's door. They suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a small
tree in the distance. As they get closer, they can see that the
tree is draped with strips upon strips of bacon. There's smoked
bacon, crispy bacon, nearly-raw bacon, all sorts.

"Look Paul," says the first man. "It's a bacon tree!"

"You're right!" says Paul. "We're saved!"

Paul doesn't wait another second. He runs up to the tree,
salivating at the prospect of food. But just as he gets to
within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun
fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets. His friend
quickly drops to the sand and calls across to the dying Paul,
"What happened?"

With his dying breath, Paul calls back: "Run! It's not a Bacon
Tree after all. It's a ham bush!