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  1. #1
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    Exclamation Gears of War - Shattered World[FF][ACT III - Chapter 7 posted!][Page 118]

    Right! Finally, after a few days of mulling over this, I have decided to just post and leave it to you fellows to tell me what needs changing.
    Consider this chapter as Chapter 1 Version A. If you guys really like it, I'll just keep it and ditch Version B (which I didnt like as much as A).

    Anyhoo.

    Heres the summary:

    Shattered World follows a young Darrius Gale as he sets out from Jacinto to find his family, who he loses contact with almost a year after E-Day. He's a crackshot with a sniper rifle and knows how to stay alive in the field but with the Hammer dropping in three days and a long way to go, can he make it in time?





    -----

    Comments of all kinds accepted.

    We start this story less than an hour before the events of E-Day...





    Gears of War – Shattered World




    ACT I
    Chapter 1
    Emergence Day
    “Good morning Citizens of Ephyra! Another sunny day here, temperature is a nice twenty degree Celsius with no chance of rain so don’t forget the suntan! It’s currently nine thirty and it’s time to bring you this mornings news. Today, experts have urged the people across the continent to remain calm and not to be alarmed after several cities across the country experienced mild seismic activity over the weekend -,”
    Darrius Gale slammed his hand down on his radio, shutting the news reader up. He must remember to turn off that sodding alarm on the weekend. Groggily pulling himself out of bed, he winced as light shone through his bedroom window. He rubbed his eyes and staggered over to the wardrobe. There was a knock on the door.

    “Yeah?” Darrius called.
    “You up, son? Kurt’s downstairs waiting for you and Sarah will be here soon. Hurry up, we’ll be leaving in a minute.
    “Sure Dad, just getting dressed.” He replied
    “Good, good.”

    His dad stomped off down the hallway and stairs, not because he was annoyed but because he was so damn big.
    Darrius quickly pulled on some clothes and paused as he tugged at a hooded jumper. He glanced outside at the sun and wondered whether to bring it just in case. He wrapped it around his waist and went to the bathroom.
    Scrubbing his teeth, he stared at himself in the mirror. A fifteen year old boy stared back, messy hair unsuccessfully pressed flat to his head which stuck up a little at the back. He looked older than he was, with dark golden eyes and a stern face.
    He thought ahead to his exams during the week and almost groaned out loud. He was the smartest kid in his class and because of that; he would be doing the hardest paper too. He was seriously looking for alternatives if becoming an engineer or scientist was this much hassle, smart or not.
    Spitting the contents of his mouth into the sink, he hurried down the hallway, grabbing his trainers from his doorway.

    “Hey Kurt,” Darrius said as he hopped into the living room pulling his other trainer on.
    “Sup Darrius,” Kurt smiled, he stood almost a head taller than Darrius, his hair was a bright blonde and tied into a ponytail which didn’t quite go with his boyish looks. He had been his best friend for god knows how long. “Things okay?”
    “Yeah, just worrying a bit about the test next week.”
    “Pfft, I aint worrying.”

    Of course he wasn’t, he was planning on enlisting next year. Test results were nothing to him.

    “I still need to run the idea by my dad about enlisting,” Darrius said. His dad always managed to slip in the speech about finishing school before deciding anything about his future career. That meant having to go through another 3 or so years of school.
    “Yeah well make sure you do. How am I meant to have your back when you are stuck revising and not in uniform?” Kurt smirked.
    “Hey,” Darrius pointed a finger at him. “I can hold my own.”
    “Sure you can, I’m just saying,” Kurt raised his hands.

    Darrius’ dad walked in with his mother and little sister, naturally towering over everyone and getting everyone’s attention without saying a word.

    “Son, we will be at your cousins for a few days, give or take a night,” He pulled a duffel bag onto his back. “You know the drill, don’t get into trouble, no going into the city centre, you know it’s going to be packed today because of the finals and…” he pointed a finger at Darrius. “If you insist on showing off with my rifle, make sure to take it out back and don’t shoot too many things with it. Neighbours WILL complain.”
    “I think you mean go to Mr Gale, I don’t think they have the guts to complain to you,” Kurt said smiling.
    Gale senior almost cracked a smirk but managed to maintain his serious demeanour.
    “Be that as it may, don’t go to town with it and I mean that both ways.”
    “Sure Dad, don’t worry,” Darrius said. “Oh did Sarah say when she was going to be here?”
    “She’s with her mother in town picking up some clothes; she said she wouldn’t be long. See you in a few days.”

    Darrius and Kurt glanced at each other with raised eyebrows. Won’t be long our asses.
    Darrius’ mum paused as she went passed to kiss her son on the cheek, whispered quietly into his ear about behaving and then moved towards the door.

    “See you. Bye mom,” Darrius waved at his family as they left.

    They waited until they heard the door shut before speaking again.

    “So when are you going to tell your dad?” Kurt said, sitting down on the sofa and looking around for the television remote.
    Darrius picked the remote off of the cabinet beside the couch and threw it to Kurt before sitting down himself.
    “It’s not as easy as that man and you know it,” he sighed and itched at the back of his neck. “You know what my Dad is like. Yeah, he’ll be proud of me whatever I decide but he doesn’t want my potential to go to waste.”
    “Darrius, have you seen how well you can shoot with a Longshot? You managed to outshoot that sniper that came into school one time, to talk about enlisting and what we get to do and stuff, you remember?” Kurt said. “You just need to get your fitness up, get some more muscle on that skinny ass frame of yours and you’d be put straight into Commando or Ranger training.”
    “Okay one, I’m not skinny, just because I’m not as big as you, doesn’t mean anything. I’m… athletically built,” Darrius smirked at Kurt’s raised eyebrows and continued. “Secondly, I know, you know and my Dad certainly knows I can shoot well but I also happen to be good at maths, equations and physics which is making this complicated. Dad would want me to make the best of my life.”

    Kurt turned the T.V. on. It was predictably on the news channel which Darrius’ mum had on in the mornings. They were still
    rambling on about the tremors felt across several of the major cities over the weekend.

    “Jeez, I don’t see what all the worry is about, I’m pretty sure COG will use it as an excuse to build more defences all over the place.” Kurt said with a hint of annoyance. He didn’t turn the channel over however.
    “I don’t know, seems like a crock of sh*t to me. I don’t really care. When are the Thrashball finals on? I think The Cole Train needs to work off some energy after his last game.”
    “Yeah, Leverson better watch himself, no one insults The Cole Train and gets away with it.” Kurt said. “And it’s on at half one, we got a while to wait.”
    “We got a while to wait whilst Sarah clothes shops. We’ll have watched the game before she’s done.”
    “You know you’d love to be in the changing rooms with her Darrius.” Kurt said with an evil grin.
    Darrius threw a cushion at him.
    “What?” Kurt laughed. “This is the first girl you’ve ever had your eye on, it’s an occasion to celebrate!”
    “Sorry I’m not the ladies man; I have studying and sh*t to do. That stuff can wait till I’m older.”
    “Uh huh, we’ll see about that D man.”
    “Whatever,” Darrius stood up. “Turn this crap off and put something decent on. I’m gonna phone her and see where she is.”
    He walked into the kitchen which was pristine clean as usual. He wished his room could be described as such. His mom probably did too.
    “Hey, reckon she has her cell on her?” He called through into the living room.
    “Probably, that’s like the second most important thing in her life.”

    Suddenly he heard gunfire and explosions rip through the front room. Darrius dropped the phone and rushed into the room to find that Kurt was fine and nothing was damaged. He had simply put the movie channel on.
    “Jesus Kurt, you know my surround sound is loud. You gave me a heart attack.” Darrius took a deep breath and went to go back into the kitchen to pick up the phone. He felt stupid. Who the hell would attack them here on the outskirts of Jacinto? Idiot, he thought to himself, the war has been over for almost two years.

    “Darrius.” Kurt sounded worried, almost scared. Darrius turned back into the room.
    “What? Don’t tell me, it’s another crap movie.”
    “No, dude… This is the news channel still.”
    Feeling the icy cold of fear once more, he edged towards the T.V.
    “What? What do you mean? Advertising?”
    “Darrius,” Kurt looked seriously at him. “This is actually happening.”

    Darrius stared at the screen. It was showing a city near the coastline, a beautiful city usually full of tourists and locals alike enjoying the sunny weather and latest attractions but that wasn’t what Darrius was seeing. It was madness, explosions tore through a giant memorial fountain in the centre of the city, and water sloshed everywhere as the ruins sunk into the ground along with other buildings nearby. People were screaming, running everywhere to get out of the way. The explosions and screaming were so loud that he couldn’t hear the news reporter frantically try to warn everyone at home to start packing essentials and get the hell out of the city. The ground shook so much that the camera man fell over, the camera slamming into the pavement causing a crack to force its way across the screen.
    Out of the smoke, out of the crater where the fountain used to be rose six massive legs, they were gray and scaly; each claw shaped leg towered maybe fifteen to twenty feet above the people running away.
    What followed it would haunt his nightmares forever.

    The thing hauled itself out of the ground like it had been there forever, waiting for release. Its head was a mass of flashing lights and massive teeth, its abdomen, was small and hung uselessly but just it looked as scaly as the rest of it. It was like something straight out of a horror movie, some sort of giant spider or hand or some sick combination of both with rock like skin. It roared into the sky and swiped a leg across a shop front throwing bricks, glass, tables and cowering people out into the road.

    It wasn’t alone.

    Climbing out of the hole came more gray things. They were more humanoid. They walked on two legs, had two arms, hands and feet but that’s where the similarities ended. They were massively built and taller than the average human, small heads with glaring white/gray eyes with pinprick pupils and they all carried what looked to be semi automatic rifles, nothing like he had ever seen. They started firing indiscriminately into the crowd. People were dying in their dozens. More and more of them poured out of the hole, emerging into the chaos ready to cause more death and destruction.

    One of them noticed the camera crew and ran towards them. It squeezed off a few rounds and someone screamed and fell in front of the camera smearing blood across its lens. The thing didn’t care; it strode towards the stricken man and stamped its huge boot down on his skull, killing him instantly. It then trod on the camera too.
    This all happened within five minutes.

    Darrius and Kurt stared in numb silence. Their brains refused to comprehend what just happened.

    “Change the channel, check the other news stations. This has got to be a hoax or something.”

    Kurt flicked through the channels and each one the same, each one showing different cities including Ilima, Andius, Jannermont, Tollen, it went on, each one showing those things killing and slaughtering everything in their sight.
    Something started to nag at the back of Darrius’ mind as he wondered whether to sh*t himself now or later. It only took a second.

    “Sh*t! What if that’s happening downtown? Sarah’s there! I gotta phone my Dad too.” Darrius rushed into the kitchen and picked up the phone with shaking hands. He dialled Sarah’s number and waited.
    It started to ring but she didn’t answer. He tried again and again and again.
    “Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t,” Darrius had never felt this sort of fear before. What the f*ck is happening to the world? He dialled his Dad’s number instead. He got the busy tone all three times he tried. No surprise, gears were probably being rounded up all over the country. He put the phone onto the kitchen counter and turned to find Kurt at the doorway.
    “What are we gonna do man? What the f*ck are we going to do?” Darrius said. God, he was shaking all over.
    Kurt looked just as scared as he did but he managed to force some strength into his voice.
    “We… We need to find out what’s happening first. I’m sure COG are sorting something out as we speak. We just need to find out where our nearest base of operation is and head there. You’re dad is a gear, they’ll take you in.”
    Darrius nodded and picked up the phone again. He tossed it to Kurt.
    “Phone your parents and see what’s happening. We can’t stay here.”
    “Go pack some things,” Kurt said, pointing upstairs.

    Darrius ran upstairs, knocking over an expensive vase on the way up; he didn’t care as he went into his room. Pulling a rucksack out, he packed it with the bare minimum. Socks, pants, some spare shirts, trousers, a weatherproof coat and his only pair of fingerless gloves. He glanced around the room looking for things he needed.
    Of course, his cell phone! He clambered over his bed and rummaged through the bottoms he wore yesterday and pulled it out the back pocket. He checked his phone. Three missed calls from Sarah and two from his Dad. He dialled Sarah first.
    This time she answered after the second ring.

    “Sarah? Sarah? Are you there?”
    All he could hear was screaming and gunfire and a few seconds later, sobbing.
    “Sarah! Answer me! Sarah, are you there?”
    “D-Darrius? Darrius is that you?” Sarah sounded panicked and shocked, like someone not in control of their senses. “I can’t find mom and… and I’m hurt…Not badly but there’s b-blood and I can’t move that well…”
    An even colder wave washed over him.
    “Listen, Sarah, you’ll be okay, where are you?”
    “Just past the cinema. Me and mom managed to get away but we got separated after they came out the ground… past the Travis Mall.”
    “Listen to me Sarah,” Darrius talked over her frantic sobbing. “Stay where you are, I’m coming to get you, you understand?”
    “O-okay,” Sarah mumbled.
    “Go hide, I’m on my way.”

    Darrius disconnected the call and put his phone in his pocket. He knew what he had to do.
    What the f*ck was he thinking?
    He heard Kurt run up the stairs.

    “My parents were going to come here to pick us up but I managed to convince them that it was safer heading deeper into Jacinto, towards Jacinto Plateau, maybe to their parents. As far as the news goes, Jacinto is the only area those things haven’t attacked.” Kurt said.
    “Anywhere else safe?”
    Kurt shook his head. “No. Everywhere else is being attacked. I’m not sure about the Islands but…” Kurt trailed off. “Any word from Sarah? Your dad?”
    “Not from my Dad but he’s a gear and he can look after himself,” Darrius zipped up his rucksack and slung it over one shoulder. “Sarah’s hurt. She’s by the cinema. I told her I’d get her.”
    “Darrius, we don’t know what’s out there, where they are or what. We have to get towards Jacinto.”
    “Kurt. I’m going to go get her. She is just a few streets away.”
    “And so are those things, Darrius. I know you care about her but we are fifteen, fifteen, look at us! We wouldn’t be able to defend ourselves from a grown man. Did you not see the twenty foot monster that was knocking buildings over? What can we possibly do? People are dying in their thousands. Hundreds of thousands of people, Darrius. We NEED to get away from it.”

    Darrius didn’t say a word and walked out the room and back downstairs. He was shaking all over but he had to do this. It would be easy, run down to the cinema, grab Sarah and get the hell out of there.
    He opened the door to his basement, flicked the light switch and hurried down.

    “Darrius!” Kurt called after him. “Darrius, I know you care for Sarah but getting yourself killed is not going to achieve anything. We need to get away from here. We need to get to safer ground.”

    The basement was a clutter, a mess of boxes and other random junk that his mum and dad wanted to clear out but never had the time. There wasn’t much room, except a clear path to the one thing he wanted. His dad’s war chest was the only thing valuable down in this part of the house.
    He walked to the chest, still ignoring Kurt who was doing his best to convince Darrius to get out of here. He was right, of
    course, but he couldn’t leave Sarah.

    “Darrius, stop ignoring me. You know this is serious. Stop acting like an ass. We are wasting time.”

    Kurt stood at the top of the stairs, watching as Darrius pulled something out of the chest. He turned around clutching his dad’s Longshot rifle; he held it comfortably with the stock just under the armpit. It had a long, sleek black barrel, a telescopic sight with blue optics, attached folded bipod and stock. It was well cleaned and well maintained and in that moment Kurt knew Darrius was very serious about going to get Sarah.

    “You have anything for me in that chest of yours?”
    “What?”
    “I’m sorry but you must have seen this coming, right? I’m going with you.”
    Last edited by RaKais; 05-05-2012 at 06:30 PM. Reason: Gears of War - Shattered World [Fan Fic] [Chapter 2 now posted!]

  2. #2
    Boomshot
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    Just a suggestion...please put spaces in between paragraphs and dialogue. This will make it much easier to read.

  3. #3
    Boomshot
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    Yeah, I noticed it when I submitted. It kinda came out funny when I copy and pasted it from word. Shall change!

  4. #4
    Boomshot
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    I normally use Word when I post as well...you'll have to go back and italic and add spaces when you post. Why it does this, I'm not sure, but it does give you another read-over before posting to catch some mistakes you may have missed.

  5. #5
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    its pretty good. one thing though, i dont think longshot rifles had stocks? if you use one in the game it doesnt have one. unless the one in your story is an older version. regardless looking to reading more
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  6. #6
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    A+.
    I don't have any criticism...at all.

  7. #7
    Legend.....wait for it....dary
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    Quote Originally Posted by smurf plastic View Post
    A+.
    I don't have any criticism...at all.
    Hell yeah man, one thing I do have to add is, make it longer so we can read more!
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sgt. Grub k1ller View Post
    its pretty good. one thing though, i dont think longshot rifles had stocks? if you use one in the game it doesnt have one. unless the one in your story is an older version. regardless looking to reading more
    Yeah, I was thinking more custom model? Seeing as it's his dads but I'll probably change it.

    As to everyone else, yeah, I have more on the way , thanks for the comments.

    Should have something else up in the next day or so.

    Although I will need someone to tell me how to keep it organised. I noticed on other fanfics that you have links leading to seperate chapters. Are they links to seperate threads? or linked to the posted chapter further on in the same thread?

    Much thanks.

  9. #9
    Marrow Fiend
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaKais View Post
    Yeah, I was thinking more custom model? Seeing as it's his dads but I'll probably change it.

    As to everyone else, yeah, I have more on the way , thanks for the comments.

    Should have something else up in the next day or so.

    Although I will need someone to tell me how to keep it organised. I noticed on other fanfics that you have links leading to seperate chapters. Are they links to seperate threads? or linked to the posted chapter further on in the same thread?

    Much thanks.
    makes sense. and yes ive been wondering how to do that too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaKais View Post
    Yeah, I was thinking more custom model? Seeing as it's his dads but I'll probably change it.

    As to everyone else, yeah, I have more on the way , thanks for the comments.

    Should have something else up in the next day or so.

    Although I will need someone to tell me how to keep it organised. I noticed on other fanfics that you have links leading to seperate chapters. Are they links to seperate threads? or linked to the posted chapter further on in the same thread?

    Much thanks.
    They're links to different pages on one thread...but I would start worrying about an Index when you get to Chapter 10...or 44, lol....this is just a convenience for readers to help navigate on your thread for certain chapters instead of serfiing the whole thing, trying to find chapter 25...

    ...but if you're going to be like Jay, and have multiple fics for one universe, then post a specific thread to link those...I'm still waiting for Jay to do this,

  11. #11
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    Cool, thanks Jonesy.

    Right, written just over half of chapter 2 and it should be up by tomorrow night at the latest. (Got uni work due in tomorrow so I'll be working around that and this basically.)

    Stay tuned folks.

  12. #12
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    I have to say this makes me want to do an E-Day FF. I'll think about that after I finish my Legion project.

  13. #13
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    Chapter 2

    This was going to be longer (as long as the first chapter) but I thought, what the hell, I need to keep you all interested so here is some more!

    Toot Toot! Train's going to arrive soon baby

    Chapter 2

    It was chaos. Pure, uncontrolled chaos. From Darrius’ door, they could see downtown stretching away from them. Smoke rose across the horizon, from explosions and unchecked fires. It was horrifying. Gone was the usually quiet suburbs, gone were the usual sunny weekend days where nothing but a cool breeze, the rustling of the trees that lined the streets and the sounds of day to day life existed. Now there was terror in the air.

    And screaming.

    And suffering.

    And dying.

    King Ravens soared over them in their dozens towards the source of attack. They had no idea what they were getting into but they had to do their duty.

    They weren’t alone in the streets either. People were panicking, hurrying between their cars and houses packing as much as they could. Everyone was moving deeper into Jacinto. Things were going to get out of control real fast.

    Behind them rose Jacinto Plateau, a beacon of hope, the very place they needed to get to but not where they needed to be right now. It was madness at its finest.

    “You sure about this, Dee?” Kurt asked. He had a Snub Pistol in a holster around one hip, the only other weapon in the chest. Darrius had the rifle slung across his back, strapped firmly to his rucksack.

    “Look,” Darrius pointed into the distance. “The cinema is there, you can see it, nowhere near the centre of attack. We should be able to get to Sarah and then we’ll go to the nearest COG base. I promise. It’s not like we aren’t mobilising. It should buy us enough time.”
    Kurt nodded.
    “Okay but no more heroic sh*t after this, okay?”
    “Sounds like a deal, man. Oh and don’t tell my dad that we did this. He’ll kill me for risking myself AND his prized possessions.”
    “I thought that was obvious?”

    They set off at a jog but they didn’t get past his front gate when a voice called out to them. It was the next door neighbour, Bill, a middle aged man with a weathered face and hair getting grayer by the day.

    “Hey! Hey, you two! Where do you think you are going?” He hurried over. His family were behind him, packing things into their mini-van. “I hope you aren’t planning on going downtown. Surely you watched the news. Surely, you can see the devastation?” He swept a hand towards the direction of the fire and flames. Something in the far distance shot out from behind a clock tower and took a Raven clean out of the sky. It spiralled down out of sight.

    “I have to get someone. Then we are coming back and going to the nearest base.”
    “Dang son, you think I could face your father if I let you run off and get yourself killed whilst I could have stopped you!” His face was lined with concern. Darrius couldn’t be annoyed with him, even if he was wasting time. “Both of you can hop into my car, we have enough room. We’ll get somewhere safe.”
    “I’m sorry Bill. Sarah is down there, she needs my help. Just going to the cinema, it isn’t far at all.”
    “You’ll be killed Darrius, you’re only fifteen.”
    “I’m sixteen in a few weeks. That’s the age when you are allowed to enlist. You don’t think eventually all the other rookies won’t be given a rifle and then their orders like everyone else?”
    Bill didn’t say anything. Darrius could tell he wanted to get back to his family and then away from the danger. It was natural.

    “Look, Bill, I’ll be okay. Now stop wasting time and get your family out of here.”
    “You take care of yourself, you hear?” Bill shook his hand and then nodded at Kurt. “And you, son. Don’t do anything stupid. Get yourself in and out.”
    “You don’t need to tell me twice sir.”
    Bill hurried off.
    “Let’s go.”

    They headed downtown ignoring the quick stares and glances from scared and worried people. The roads were packed up solid with fleeing civilians. Darrius didn’t know how to feel. Even when the Pendulum Wars was happening, even though destruction on a massive scale was possible, no one was worried, no one was scared because it was a war far away viewed on a T.V. screen or heard over the radio. This… this was something entirely different. You might be able to judge and understand other human beings, but that was exactly it, they were human, you had things in common. These… things… no, there was nothing to understand or know. Just fear. He was scared more because he didn’t know what the future will bring now. Everyone’s childhood bogeymen just came out the ground when they thought that world peace was just around the corner and here he was, waltzing right towards them. Sh*t.

    As they pushed and dodged through the ever growing crowd, Darrius knew Kurt was right. They were fifteen. They wouldn’t be able to defend themselves against anything, even if they were armed with weapons. Chances are they would freeze up if forced to use them. Monsters or not, they had never killed anything. Hell, even his worst fights were nothing compared to what that moment would bring but he needed to find Sarah.

    The explosions were getting louder now, punctuated by screams, howls, bestial roars, gunfire and the sounds and tremors of buildings collapsing into the earth. They were close to the cinema and more than likely, the enemy too.

    They both ducked into an alleyway as a squad of Gears sprinted past, shoving the stream of people aside as they rushed to the epicentre of the destruction. Darrius watched as one woman tried to grab at one as they passed, screaming about her missing baby but she was ignored. One hour ago, people would have mounted a city-wide search for her child but now, even her plight was nothing compared to the murder of humanity. She fell to her knees sobbing and was swallowed up by the crowd.

    Biting the inside of his lip, he turned his back and followed Kurt through the backdoor of a multi-story car park.

    “Cinema back alley is just over this wall and across the outside car park,” Kurt said, crouching by the far wall. Darrius stalked slowly over towards him, keeping low and a wary eye on the outside sky. Despite hearing the commotion outside and all around them, they hadn’t seen a single one of those monsters. It was unnerving and he was already crapping himself as it was.
    The building suddenly shook violently setting several car alarms off all at once. The noise was deafening.

    “Sh*t? Did something hit the roof?”

    Then the ground beneath them started to tilt to the side.

    The whole building was tilting.

    “GET OUT, KURT!” Darrius yelled, throwing himself over a car bonnet as it slid towards him. The hard metal jarred his back as he hit it, causing him to roll over the side and onto the floor, winded.

    Trying to force air into his battered lungs, Darrius watched as Kurt clambered over the low wall down onto the street below and out of sight. The car park was starting to fall apart as it pulled down into the ground, the ceiling above him splintered and caved in

    Truck sized chunks of masonry crashed down all around him, flattening cars like they were plastic bags. He watched as a man trapped in his car tried to open his door but could do nothing as a larger vehicle from the floor above ploughed into the roof, splattering blood up the windscreen as it buckled inwards.

    Darrius rolled onto his front and pushed off the floor, adrenaline powering his limbs as he hopped over a crack that was snaking its way across the tarmac at an alarming speed.
    The building groaned and creaked as it was losing shape, tilting even further into the widening sinkhole.

    Reaching the side, he barely had enough energy to hoist himself over the wall and flop to the pavement. Even as the car park turned into rubble, he just lay there unable to move until a firm pair of hands dragged him slowly away from the sinkhole, coughing and gasping.

    “F*ck.”

    “You got that right,” Kurt said, trying to wave the dust out of his face. Half the car park had been sucked into the floor, the other half still stood but most of its floors and vehicles had been pulled out onto the ruined side’s rubble and then had spilled out in all directions blocking the way back onto their street with a wall of metal and stone. “We can’t go back that way-,”

    Someone screamed nearby.

    Kurt stopped and listened. This scream was different from the others they could hear in the distance, they were barely audible over the battles raging all over the city, this one was close and very panicked.

    It was Sarah. It had to be.

    Suddenly Darrius had the strength to move again and Kurt could do nothing to stop him as he picked himself up and started sprinting, his pain forgotten.

    “God-f*cking-damn-it Darrius!” Kurt called after him. Was almost being flattened by a building not enough? He was meant to be smart rational one!
    Last edited by RaKais; 05-08-2010 at 09:47 PM. Reason: Forgot the last sentence! :O

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    "King Raven’s soared over them"
    *Ravens
    Other than that, good job. I liked that you put in the danger of falling buildings...people forget that the Locust aren't the only threat from emergence holes, falling buildings are also a danger too.

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    great chapter. not as good as the first but still good nonetheless.i got a little disorented and lost in the middle but i was probably reading too fast.
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    Nice work.

    Not much for me to pick at, since you tend to read this over how many times?

    I'm looking forward to more. Nice work on the description and progression of the story, as well the interaction of the characters with one another and the world at hand. While you tend to display images such as the woman being ignored, those tend to stick out for me.

    Great work, and let's see some more!
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

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    Thanks for the comments guys.

    Just letting you know that part 3 is almost done. You'll all love it, I know it

  18. #18
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    Default Chapter 3

    Part 3 guys

    I think I'm gonna try and average out the chapters at around 1200-1500. My first one was almost 3000 but I need to keep you all interested so shorter bursts = more fun :P

    Sorry if theres any syntax or spelling errors. This was done at ridiculouslyearlyinthemorning O'Clock.

    Chapter 3
    “God-f*cking-damn-it Darrius!” Kurt called after him. Was almost being flattened by a building not enough? He was meant to be smart rational one!

    Kurt ran after him but struggled to catch up, Darrius had always been one hell of a sprinter, and soon found himself starting to fall behind. Something started whirring in the distance.
    “Darrius!” Kurt shouted. Darrius was in the cinema’s outer car park now, weaving in and out of parked cars.

    Then Darrius stopped dead, alert and wary. He seemed unsure of what to do.
    Had he seen something?
    His hand reached behind him towards the rifle and slowly, but carefully, pulled it out of its straps.

    The whirring sound suddenly roared into an ear piercing howl and a burning King Raven hurtled into the other side of the car park like a meteor.

    Several cars and white hot tarmac were flung away from the explosion. Kurt threw himself on the floor, feeling the heat wave wash over him.
    Sh*t! Darrius!

    He looked up and felt his breath catch in his throat.

    Darrius was okay, just in time he had ducked behind a car which had shielded him from the worst of the impact but he wouldn’t be fine much longer.
    Oh God

    *
    From the moment he heard her scream, this was it. That moment of clarity, that moment of clichéd determination that only seems to happen in action movies was happening right now. There was nothing else on Darrius’ mind except getting to Sarah. The craziness of the situation didn’t even
    register in his mind.

    It’s going to get me killed one day, Darrius just knew it, he thought dryly as he ran towards the cinema.

    Kurt was behind him, shouting and trying to keep up. He shouldn’t leave his friend behind but Sarah wouldn’t be screaming if she wasn’t in danger and Kurt could look after himself more than she could.
    Darrius reached the first line and cars and stopped.

    A weird scent hit his nostrils. It was… disgusting. He had never smelt anything so rancid, so alien. He could smell it over the contrastingly faint scents of nearby fires and weapon discharges.
    Something ahead behind a row of pick-up trucks emitted a low guttural growl.

    No human could make that sound, he was certain. Darrius reached behind him, grasped the Longshot by its grip and pulled it out of its strapping.
    God, he was shaking, so badly, but he felt suddenly… alive. Maybe this was his body preparing him for his inevitable doom by not letting him sh*t himself in his final moments.

    As if fate was listening on his insane musing, a large shadow passed over him and something massive impacted on the opposite end of the car pack.
    Blinded by the ensuing fireball, Darrius fell to his side behind a car, covering his head. Pieces of burning tarmac rained down around him.
    Holy sh*t!

    The sudden bravado left his body as quickly as it came. He was frozen to the spot.
    What had he been thinking?

    There were sudden heavy footfalls to his left and everything started to slow down as he turned to look.

    It was huge, it was gray and its scaly looking gargantuan arms pumped up and down as it pounded towards him. Its face was contorted, two white pin prick eyes glared from under a heavy brow. Teeth that were too big for its snarling mouth glinted menacingly under the light of the chopper wreckage.
    Darrius stumbled backwards as he tried to stand up but his feet slipped on the uneven ground and he could do nothing as he fell backwards onto the floor.

    From nowhere, Kurt charged out from behind a smouldering red car and threw his weight behind a shoulder barge.
    He might as well have barged into a speeding van.
    The thing just shrugged him off like a bad smell. Kurt almost did a complete back flip as he caught a bony elbow just under the eye, but he slowed it down enough for Darrius to get to one knee and aim his Longshot.
    Taking one deep breath, he aimed and fired.
    The weapon kicked against his shoulder, the barrel travelled upwards, the shell casing ejected, spinning into the air and-

    The bullet skimmed the things shoulder in a small spray of blood and pinged off something in the distance.

    Darrius’ eyes widened as the thing ran into him, grabbed him by the collar with clawed hands and hurled him down a row of cars. The world spun sickeningly for a moment and then immense pain erupted in his back as he hit the floor hard, skidding to a halt against the front bumper of a crumpled coupe.

    Blood leaked down the back of his head and everything was blurry, faint… spinning slowly as he struggled to keep conscious. The thing advanced on him, heavy boots crunching broken glass beneath it, face showing no remorse, no mercy just bestial anger.

    I’m going to die here.

    He wondered what his dad would think of him, lying here on the ground of a burning car park, waiting for some grey beast to put him out of his pain, not doing the best he could to save himself and his friends.

    Then Kurt leapt up on its back and wrapped his arms around its neck. There was no use. It casually reached behind its head and grabbed Kurt by the back of his. It pulled him off and held him up with one hand, Kurt howled in agony and swung his fists and legs at the thing but it did nothing, it didn’t even notice the blows. It punched him once, twice in the ribs and then cast him aside.
    A single tear trickled down Darrius’ cheek. He had gotten him and his friends killed.

    As the thing stood over him and raised a giant leather boot, ready to crush his skull, he closed his eyes and waited for it to end.

    Except it never did.

    There were more footsteps. Running footsteps which were too heavy sounding to be Kurt… was the thing running away? No, there was another heavy clump, the thing was still here. There was a sudden slap of flesh on flesh and then a loud crash of a window breaking. Darrius kept his eyes closed, too afraid to open them. He could hear the thing grunting like a wounded bear and the sound of scrapping metal and then the gut wrenching sound of hard punches, the sort adults throw where you can hear the sound of knuckles hitting bone and skin.

    Darrius opened his eyes and his jaw dropped.

    The thing was struggling in the choke hold of, quite frankly, the biggest black man he had ever seen. It scrabbled weakly at the man’s thick tree trunk like arm muscles, kicking and gasping but it couldn’t dislodge the man’s iron grip. There were several deep scratch marks up and down his arms but he was not letting go. His youthful face was lined with deep concentration as he fought to keep the thing in his arms. He swung it to and fro, crushing its windpipe (does it have a windpipe?) slowly but surely.

    Its movements were starting to get more sluggish and weak and before long it’s arms slumped down by its sides, moving no more. The man dumped it on the floor and stepped over it.

    “Yeah, baby, it’s always hard taking the away game to the home side ain’t it?” The man said to the thing’s corpse, there was blood down his vest top but it didn’t seem to be his.
    There was no mistaking that voice.
    The man extended a massive hand towards him, a strangely out of place friendly smile on his lips.
    “…Augustus Cole?” Darrius took his hand and was hauled weakly to his feet.
    “One and only, baby.”
    Last edited by RaKais; 05-15-2010 at 08:12 PM.

  19. #19
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    Chapter 4 will be done by the end of the weekend. Uni work has been ... taxing...

  20. #20
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    adding the Cole Train really caught me off guard there. Anyway Great chapter. speaking of which i need to get ch 3 of mine up today.
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    ridiculouslyearlyinthemorning O'Clock.

    Deserves a honour.

    Nice story, seems to be coming along nicely. Very good description of a Locust you had there!

    This is just me, but Cole seemed a bit too "Yeah whoo-ish" for such an early stage of the war, surely even the Cole Train would be a bit "What the hell?"

    Then again, I love Gears 1 Cole, Gears 2 Cole was waaay too trashy for me.

    That's just me rambling though, Keep it up!

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    I dunno...Cole is too "Yeah whoo-ish" to begin with, or at least in the second game, which came off as a little over-the-top and cliche', so I can't blame Rakais for that...

    ...it's moving along nicely, but there's some inconsistencies on spacing the paragraphs.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay the Arbiter View Post
    ridiculouslyearlyinthemorning O'Clock.

    Deserves a honour.

    Nice story, seems to be coming along nicely. Very good description of a Locust you had there!

    This is just me, but Cole seemed a bit too "Yeah whoo-ish" for such an early stage of the war, surely even the Cole Train would be a bit "What the hell?"

    Then again, I love Gears 1 Cole, Gears 2 Cole was waaay too trashy for me.

    That's just me rambling though, Keep it up!
    I imagine Cole to always be "Yeah Whoo-ish" because I think that's just him carrying his team mentality over from being a Star-gaming winning thrashball player to a soldier. If you read the books, he prides himself on keeping up the squad morale. So yeah, thought that would fit him. Don't worry, he is alot more serious to begin with and you'll see in the conversations to come. Thanks for the comments

    I dunno...Cole is too "Yeah whoo-ish" to begin with, or at least in the second game, which came off as a little over-the-top and cliche', so I can't blame Rakais for that...

    ...it's moving along nicely, but there's some inconsistencies on spacing the paragraphs.
    Yeah, I rushed with paragraph spacing. Not used to really doing it on word lol.
    I'll take my time with it next time. Thanks

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    It slipped me by, but you might want to put "Chapter 3" at the start, as it's missing at the moment.

    So Four will be on it's way soon?

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    Yeah, trying to work at it inbetween Uni and girlfriend duties but rest assured, Chapter 4 will be here soon. Along with another familiar face ;p

    Just need to work on my plans for Sarah. I'm not sure how cruel I want to be... or cliched, depending on what side of the nice meter I'm feeling. Muhahaha :P

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    Let it be what it's supposed to be...she's just as much of a red-shirt as the next Gear.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaKais View Post
    Yeah, trying to work at it inbetween Uni and girlfriend duties but rest assured, Chapter 4 will be here soon. Along with another familiar face ;p

    Just need to work on my plans for Sarah. I'm not sure how cruel I want to be... or cliched, depending on what side of the nice meter I'm feeling. Muhahaha :P
    Well you know what Voltaire said. And It's so easy when you're evil... XD

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    Oh yeah, everyone (apart from canon characters, I kinda had this idea written to entwine the main storyline) is a red-shirt. No-one is safe in my story.

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    Just for that, you earn +20 cool points.

  30. #30
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    Well where is the suspense and tension if you know the main characters and their supporting cast have plot armour? :P

    I like to keep my readers on their toes.

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    ^Yea, but at the same time, you lose the opportunity for the audience to find someone they can find some relation with...you can still build suspense using characters that play a redeeming part of a plot, just don't make them bullet proof.

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    Nice addition of Cole, didn't expect that one to appear. Shorter chapter then I had thought, but hey times are changing and people seem to not want to read a long fiction anymore. Good work, will wait for more.

    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  33. #33
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    SKORGE, all the chapters you see now? Are all under one chapter in my Word Document. I originally started writing this as a novel but I thought people wouldn't want to read massive pages of text. So I divided it up into shorter bursts, so to speak.

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    One chapter!?

    Woah, well the novel idea explains it. Sad to say, but it's true. There was a time when people would read long fiction, but that time is gone. I don't know why, or how it happened, but it did.

    I guess with the flush of two new games comes more of a wider following, thus bringing in more people who are 'move, move, move'.
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

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    Yeah, most folk prefer chapters, I think it gives them breathing space so they can take a break before moving on.

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    Maybe I should relabel them under parts?
    Chapter 1
    Part 1
    Part 2
    Part 3 etc
    Chapter 2 etc

    Or

    Act I
    chapter 1
    2
    3
    Act II etc

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaKais View Post
    Maybe I should relabel them under parts?
    Chapter 1
    Part 1
    Part 2
    Part 3 etc
    Chapter 2 etc

    Or

    Act I
    chapter 1
    2
    3
    Act II etc
    Depends on how long it is. For example, if it goes beyond 20 and having 'Chapters' becomes repetitive and somewhat ridiculous because there are just so many, for a short, then change it.

    I'd go with the second option. It would be better if each chapter (Your original chapters) were turned into an act, and each act split into chapters.

    So this first chapter could have been Act 1, Chapter 1, 2, 3 etc.
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaKais View Post
    Maybe I should relabel them under parts?
    Act I
    chapter 1
    2
    3
    Act II etc
    That's how I laid out Ascension, that seemed to work okay.

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    Chapter 4 up.

    Yes, it is THAT Clay.

    Again, this written during my favourite ridiculouslyearlyinthemorning O'clock

    Chapter 4


    Could this day get anymore surreal?
    Cole eyes widened slightly as though remembering something and hurried around the side of the nearest car.
    “What was your buddy’s name?” Cole said, peering under one of the cars.
    Of course! Kurt!
    “K-Kurt,” Darrius bent down and picked up his Dad’s rifle. He turned it in his hands and was glad there were no imperfections.
    His head really hurt.
    After a few seconds, Darrius heard Cole grunt and saw him pull Kurt to his feet.

    “You okay?”
    Kurt coughed and blood trickled out of his mouth and down his chin.
    “I think my rib cage is broken…” he gasped. “That thing punches like a jackhammer.”
    “Yeah, those things are tough and they’re just the grunts. I seen some crazy sh*t back in the city,” Cole seemed strangely unaffected. He sounded like he could have been talking about his last Thrashball game if the city around them wasn’t being totalled.

    “We need to get you two outta here. I’m not too familiar with this town, I was just here early ‘cos I heard of a good restaurant near the stadium,” Cole chuckled.
    “Um, we know of a COG base not far from here. We might have to take a detour though,” Darrius nodded towards the collapsed car park. “That was our route in.”
    “Okay, lead the way. We better go before anymore freaks show up. You were
    lucky that one weren’t armed.”

    “Hey!”

    Everyone turned to where the voice came from. A group of Gears were running across the car park towards the downed chopper. They fanned out, rifles aiming in all directions, keeping watch on each other’s back.
    The squad leader stopped in front of them and raised a fist. The rest of the squad spread out and crouched down into cover, heads constantly scanning the surrounding wreckage.

    “What the f*ck are you three doing here? This is a damn warzone!”
    Darrius felt really unnerved by the soldier. His helmet blocked any attempt at seeing the face behind the words and as such, his reply came out stammered.
    “W-We were just getting someone and heading back towards Jacinto Plateau.”
    “Son, this is not a movie, you do not go and rescue someone in this sort of situation and come out okay. Do you know how many people have died in the last half an hour? Get your ass out of here, now!”
    The leader turned to his squad who were waiting for his next orders.
    “Right, secure the crash site. We have KR 21 inbound for any survivors then we are to respond to an emergency beacon about a klick south.”
    The squad headed towards the burning remains of the King Raven.
    The leader turned back to them and seemed to only just notice the state they were in.
    “How badly injured are you?”
    “Um, Kurt’s… that guy there… he’s got a few broken ribs… and I have a cut head. It’s mainly cuts and bruises. Nothing life threatening, I think,” Darrius threw a side long glance at Cole. “And that blood isn’t his.”

    The man nodded and pressed a finger to the side of his helmet.

    “Okay, we have a slight change in plan. Clay, I want you to escort these civilians back to base. We need one more space on the Raven so I don’t want to leave anyone behind back in that sh*thole. We have lost too many men today because no one was prepared for this… not that anyone could have been…”
    A Gear jogged back to them. He was the only one without a helmet. He looked quite young with a smooth face and closely cropped black hair.
    “Sarge?”
    “You heard soldier, get these people back to base,” The sergeant said. “Where did you get that rifle, son?”
    “It’s my fathers,” Darrius said after a moment, not realising he was being spoken to. He gripped the Longshot tighter. “Robert Gale?”
    The Gear was silent for a moment before replying.
    “A good man, an exceptional Gear. I imagine you’ll be enlisting?”
    “Am now.”
    “I’m sure you’ll do your father proud. Now get out of here. Clay, radio me when you are there.”
    Clay saluted and warily motioned for Darrius to follow him.
    “Get your friends and let’s get a move on.”
    “What about the person I came here to get?” Darrius said. He wasn’t leaving here until he got Sarah.
    Kurt stepped up behind Darrius and put a hand on his shoulder.
    “Darrius…” he said quietly.
    “What?”
    “We don’t have time for this!” Clay said, watching his squad pick through the burning pieces of chopper wreckage.

    Darrius faced Kurt, who was doing his best to avoid eye contact while his mouth opened and closed, as though he trying to say something and failing.
    “Kurt, just spit it out, we haven’t got time!”
    Kurt didn’t say anything but held out something that glowed in the nearby fire. He dropped it into Darrius’ palm and started walking away. Cole seemed to understand what was happening, because he followed Kurt.
    “What is it?” Clay said.
    Darrius made a small choking sound as his throat closed up. He opened his palm and stared at the S-shaped symbol hanging from a small silver chain. Blood dripped from the bottom curve of the S and the clasp was broken at the top, indicating that it was torn forcefully from the neck.

    S for Sarah.

    He couldn’t save her.

    “It… belonged… to the person I was here to get…,” Darrius whispered. He briefly closed his eyes and felt a single tear wind it’s way down his cheek. Still staring at the necklace, he turned and started after Kurt.
    Clay watched him walk away and slowly shook his head.
    “Man, I’m gonna be seeing a lot more of this sh*t.”
    He knew he’d never get used to it.

    10 minutes later
    Darrius’ house
    Ephyra
    46 Minutes after Emergence.


    “So Cole, bet you regret coming into the city early for your game?” Clay said, he cradled his Lancer in his arms and ambled ahead of the group next to Cole. They had been chatting away since they climbed over what remained of the car park. Things were quieter here. Centaur Tanks and Armadillo APC’s trundled down the road, crushing or pushing abandoned cars out of the way as they headed towards the still ongoing attack. Survivors were being ushered up the street by patrolling Gears and everyone tried their best not to look at broken bodies on the floor.

    “Yeah but not ‘cos of today’s mess,” Cole flexed his giant shoulders. “If I had left at the usual time I do for a game, I’d have been at my momma’s still. I don’t know if she or anyone’s alive. It’s a horrible feeling... I really feel for the kid, Darrius, wasn’t it? Sh*t, he tried to save his girl and all he got was him and his friend beaten up and a bloody necklace to show for it. The world’s gone down the sh*tter, that’s for sure.”
    “What made you save them, anyways? When we got to your position, there were still people running away either side of the car park, not giving a sh*t about anything,” Clay itched his chin. “Don’t blame ‘em, not really. But usually you’ll find a hero in everyone. I’ve seen it in plenty of times during the Pendulum Wars … but not today.”
    “I get what you mean. I don’t think I could look my momma in the eye if I left two kids to get stomped by some big ugly bastard whilst I could have stopped it,” Cole said.
    “You know, you actually seem like a decent human being Cole,” Clay nodded. “I’ve met a few Thrashball stars. Assholes. All of them.”
    Cole laughed and slapped a hand on Clay’s back, almost bowling him over.
    “They ain’t stars baby, that’s for sure!”

    A dozen paces back, Darrius and Kurt walked in silence. There was a shared pain between them and it would take it’s time to heal.
    “… are you sure it’s hers?” Darrius asked for what seemed the hundredth time.
    “Darrius… who else wore such a thing?” Kurt said.
    “Where did you find it?”
    Kurt sighed and repeated the same thing.
    “When that thing threw me over the car, I landed in a pool of blood… I say pool, it was like a splatter really and by the edge, was the necklace and some ripped clothing.”
    “I said I would come get her, Kurt.” Darrius said, tears streaming down his face. “F*ck sake. I can’t believe I screwed up.”
    Kurt punched him in the arm lightly.
    “Dude, you didn’t screw up anything. There was nothing you could do. You said you’d come get her, you went to go get her. You can’t be in several places at once. Hell, I’m pretty sure we would be in several places at once if Cole hadn’t showed up.”
    Darrius didn’t say anything and just kept his eyes on the road. He had failed her. She was dead because of him.

    “Sh*t, Darrius. Look at your house!” Kurt pointed.
    House was an overstatement. It was in ruins but strangely Darrius wasn’t staring at what was left of his home but rather the giant building sized corpse of the hand/spider abomination that was flat on it’s back, legs bent inwards. Half of it’s head was missing and it’s brain juice was slathered like butter all over the surrounding ruins.

    Clay whistled and pointed up at the gaping hole in it’s multi-eyeballed head.
    “Centaur tank shell. Right through the head. Feel sorry for the guy who lived here.”
    “That’s my house,” Darrius said. Not even the destruction of his home registered on his brain. He was still adrift in guilty failure.
    Clay shut up instantly and carried on down the road.
    There was an explosion behind them. There was gunfire and shouting and then silence. The on-off nature of the battle was really starting to get to them all.
    Kurt pushed Darrius in the back and they followed Clay up the road.
    “How far are we from-,” Kurt started to say.
    Then he collapsed.
    “No!” Darrius yelled.
    Clay sprinted towards them and skidded to a halt. Cole was a second behind.
    “Sh*t, was he shot?”
    “No, he- he just collapsed!”
    Clay checked his pulse before pulling up Kurt’s jumper and shirt. He pressed his hands around his ribs.
    “What did you say his injuries were?”
    “He said he felt like his ribs were broken.”
    Darrius paced worriedly back and forth behind Clay.
    “Maybe internal bleeding?”
    Clay looked up at Darrius.
    “Maybe, maybe not. Depends on the extent of the breakage. I’m no medic but of course, if they were broken hard enough, bone fragments might have torn something inside of him, like his lungs.”
    Clay stood up and brushed his hands.
    “Cole, do you mind picking him up? We don’t have far to go.”
    Cole bent down and gently picked up Kurt like he weighed nothing.
    “Lead the way.”

  40. #40
    Marrow Fiend
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    Interesting chapter to say the least. One quirk I find odd is that these alian monsters that no one has ever seen before have suddenely come out of the ground kiling millions, and people are making small talk. I would expect people, even Gears, to be sh*ting them selves. They barely take notice that a fifty foot monster is dead and laying on his house. No offence to your writting, its great btw, I just find it odd how the characters sre acting at the moment. Well i can expect Cole to because he is kinda crazy but two kids wouldnt be acting as if everything is cool at the moment.

    btw you mean THAT Clay? lol
    Sent from My Keyboard using My Fingers
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