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  1. #161
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    I liked it. Double Thumbs Up
    In Sera, peace doesn't exist...
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  2. #162
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    Hey, that's my line!

    JK lmao, I liked it too.
    I came up with the Bag 'N Tag idea. No really, check the date. (proof)
    Fanboy of Gears since GameInformer's 2005 cover-article
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  3. #163
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    Thanks guys. I'll try to fix the, he quckly stood up slowly part but yeah.
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  4. #164
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    Sorry for the wait. I hope this delivers.
    Chapter 11: Something's Better Then Nothing

    Days had pasted by as Jarnix was one hundred and ten percent ready for battle. Zumn was still in serious need of surgery but that was it. The Queen walked past the wooden doors of the hospital and through the halls. A young drone followed her, he had regular armor except his right arm had a long metal glove on it. It was used for strength or sometimes quickness. The strength everyone saw but what was amazing was that when the drones took the glove off, they had an amazing ability of speed on their arm due of the weigh of the metal. The Queen saw Jarnix re grouping with the rest, or what was left of the squad as the Queen interrupted their grouping.

    "My Queen!" They all gasped as they bowed before the Queen let them rise.

    "I heard of your loss Jarnix. Your squad is one warrior down, and I got the solution until Zumn is back in action." The Queen smirked as she side stepped showing the young drone.

    The drone stepped forward making the locust greeting to Jarnix. The colonel looked at him with a questioning expression on his face.

    "My Queen, no disrespect, but he is just a young drone. Are you sure he is ready?"

    The Queen simply chortled and started walking around the rookie. " This is Kuntent. He is the best of his class. He has finished all of his tests number one. He is not only one of the bests, but he started all this in his guard days colonel!"

    "How long has he been in guarding position if he is so good?" Jarnix huffed as he folded his arms as the others perked up their ears trying not to look at the three.

    "Three...." The Queen answerd back as she only smiled at the confused Colonel.

    "Three weeks, months, years?" Asked Jarnix.

    "Three hours." The Queen smirked before she continued. " He is a good fighter. He has the record for less time in guard positions. I'm sure he'll make you proud."

    The Queen brushed off and walked away towards the exit leaving Kuntent on Jarnix's hands.

    "Sir..." Kendron quickly walked over to the colonel who faced his trusty right hand man awaiting more.

    "We have a report for help. A four drone squad with the leader Tumbeir is awaiting us."

    Jarnix only sighed and turned back towards the rookie. "Ready for your first duty private?"

    "Not only am I ready, but I am anxious for my first duty." Kuntent left a confident grin as Jarnix turned back towards the rest of his squad.

    "Alright let's go. There are five locust soldiers in need and we shall bring that need to them." The team all turned their attention towards Jarnix who quickly started walking off directly towards the exit and towards their HQ to ready and to choose their weapons.
    ---
    Meanwhile at the main Lambent city, infected drones and former locust walked around living their lives. Turk brushed off any who touched or accidentally pushed him as he was summoned by the three lambent overseers. Turk walked towards the holy palace of the creatures as he never got over the view. Bright, polished, clean golden walls. The reflection of movement around the city always made him smile. He was quickly cut off as a lambent Theron sentinel led him inside and towards their leaders. The lambent leaders where known all around. They usually wore cloaks to cover their faces. And their clawed hands always perked out of the sleeves.

    "Turk! So good for you to join us." Shouted a first one.

    "We have a little mission for you." Answered the second.

    "And we expect you to succeed." Snapped the third.

    Turk smirked as one of the overseers gave him a scroll.

    "The blood seekers are in an another mission to rescue some remained locust from yesterdays battle." Sighed one of the leaders as he walked up to Turk leaving the other two to walk to their throne room. "We need you to annihilate the blood seekers and the remaining survivors."

    "What of Long Sword, can't he do it? I am still in search for my sons Skaarge and Jeriko!" Boomed Turk hoping he could understand. But it failed.

    "Nonsense! Long Sword is still on his mission. You are the only one here who is cut out for it. Besides, Skaarge and or Jeriko might be in one of the drones. You never know." The overseer tried to convince Turk on his idea, but the lambent assassin only walked off mumbling to himself about the mission they have gave him.
    ----
    The wind was cut and scattered off as the blood seeker's reaver flew the six of them over the hollow. Another two, regular reavers flew behind them for the survivors to use on the way back. Due to it's massive size, the blood seekers reaver was big enough to make it lift tons and tons of weigh. It had the word "BlOOd sEeKeRS on the side of the metal armor in color red. Of course, it wasn't written that way. It was written on locust language, but it was pronounced, Blood Seekers.

    The reaver flew over the beautiful sea of the hollow as the humidity made them all feel fresh. They would all feel like jumping in the clean water. Even Rouhk, the massive boomer grinder would like to have a dip. The sense was quickly cut off as they started to smell smoke. It was the survivors making smoke to let them know their spot. Reluk, the one managing the reaver, commanded the reaver to lower down making the other two creatures behind follow.

    They all landed after a few seconds letting the blood seekers off as the three reavers took a break and drank the water a few feet away.

    Tumbeir, the big and strong locust warrior walked towards the colonel before they began to socialize for a while. Tumbeir had Theron Guard armor except it was mainly black, and the lines around it were white. He was a special kind of soldier called "Soul Guard". Tumbeir never wore the helmet which was a mix between the sentinel and guard helmet. The helmet looked like the sentinel, but had the six holes in front.

    "Thanks colonel. We appreciate what you done for us." Tumbeir started trying to hold a bit of a laughter in.

    "Yeah yeah. I can recognize a Soul Guard when I see one, Tumbeir." Chuckled Jarnix reuniting with one of his longest friends.

    "You and boss recognize?" Boomed the gigantic Rouhk as Tumbeir turned his attention towards the grinder.

    "Yeah. Since our academy age. Raam, Jarnix and I were good friends back then." Replied Tumbeir.

    "And we still are. Glad you ain't dead. Now let's get out of...." Jarnix was quickly cut off by the sound of lambent yells. Jarnix sniffed the air and growled as the lambent began to rush towards the locust from the other end of the little spot they where. The reavers quickly snapped and they all flew inside a cave nearby. The eleven locust warriors had no chance but to fight back.

    They all took cover at first trying not to die as Kuntent, the new rookie took out his long shot. He took a blind shot and blew two lambent's head clean off. The explosion of the lambent went in a chain reaction blowing up a few more besides them, or taking serious injuries, and then exploding.

    "Bring it on you glowing scums!" Yelled Kuntent in an exciting way as the lambent leader, Turk rushed over a rock and jumped off to re join the still charging lambent. Tumbeir threw a frag as so did Jarnix taking down a few lambent sending imulsion and dead pieces of lambent all over the place. Each piece flew up like fire works and popped like them too.

    "Wretches!" Yelled one of the drones as lambent wretches began to pop up and charge at the locust. By now the lambent were in cover due to losing soldiers, but they sent their wretches to cover their dirty work.

    "Die you imulsion freak!" Yelled Reluk destroying any wretches in his way with his stolen gnasher shot gun. After each shot, he had to kick the bodies away, duck, or the blast of the gun power blasted them far enough.

    "They keep coming!" Warned Venju also destroying any wretches around.

    It was true, from more open spaces, came more wretches as they outnumbered the locust and lambent forces in that little 'island' combined. Jarnix looked at Rouhk, then at the wretches and he quickly had an idea.

    "Rouhk, wanna have some fun?" Asked Jarnix trying to rush the answer out of the boomer.

    "Yes! I enjoy making these worms crawl back in hole!" Replied Rouhk hiding behind a huge rock that had fallen off covering Rouhk completely.

    "Then take out those wretches with your mulcher!" Ordered Jarnix looking at the wretches getting closer. The others gunned a few down but it wasn't enough.

    Rouhk slapped his head as an expression of stupidity. "Why didn't Rouhk think of that? I mean I could...." Rouhk tried to continue but was stopped by Jarnix's yell.

    "NOW!" Roared Jarnix and Rouhk stepped out of cover.

    "GRIND!" Yelled Rouhk as he opened fire and began to take down loads of wretches. The explosions were sometimes chain re actionable but most of the times they just died. The plan was working as chunks of wretches were cut by the hot led of Rouhk's mulcher. The lambent sometimes felt as if they were gonna lose due to Rouhk, but a look at Turk, and they changed their minds. Soon enough the battlefield was covered by chunks of lambent wretches and hot bullets. Rouhk was quickly sent back to cover as the lambent opened fire on him trying to take him down, but Jarnix wasn't gonna let him die. He began to shoot back making them stop.

    "OK I've had enough of this." Growled Tumbeir "Jeriko, I'll need you to sneak over and flank them from behind. Go around this island and you'll know the rest."

    Jeriko nodded as Jarnix turned to Kuntent. "He can't go alone. Kuntent, time to show us what your made of. Go with Jeriko and come back in one piece." Kuntent smirked and showed a sign of excitement on his face as he followed Jeriko around.

    "Now all we do is keep them busy."Hissed Jarnix as him, and the rest that were present began to open fire gunning down a few lambent and sending their explosive bodies to the ground letting their chunks fly up like bullets.

    After a few minutes, Jarnix and everyone else began to see that more lambent were dying, but not from their gun fire.

    "They made it!" Shouted a drone.

    The lambent were forced to fall back and get out of cover. Jeriko gunned a few down while Kuntent got clear head shots with his hammer burst. The lambent's head exploded from head shots and also sent their bodies and their imulsion all over the place splattering on the near by rocks.

    The rest back at the other end, began to open fire at the moving lambent, gunning down the majority. All that was left, was Turk.

    Turk looked around trying to find a way out. But something else caught his eyes. It was his son, Jeriko. Just as all lambents, Turk was a locust before, and he remembered his middle son, Jeriko.

    "S....son." Even though he was a lambent, his memory had not been filled with imulsion. Turk hissed as his own child began to open fire on him. Turk was snapped back into reality as he was forced back into cover. He saw that his reaver was not far back as he got an idea.

    He gathered all the smoke grenades he could find on him, and the dead bodies around him. Once he had enough, he took them all and threw them back at where Jarnix and the rest where. The smoke screwed their visions giving Turk an advantage, but he had to do it quick. He remembered some hand to hand combat at his young age and began to run like a cheetah towards Kuntent. Turk knocked out Kuntent with a hit to a nerve quickly sending him down. Turk wanted to kill him, but he had no time. He then ran over to Jeriko who had no chance and put him to sleep with another nerve move. He picked up his child and carried him towards his reaver as fast as he could. By the time the smoke cleared, Turk was already in the skies with Jeriko. Jarnix ran towards Kuntent's body and tried to find Jeriko as he soon realized, he had been taken away.

    "Well?" Asked Tumbeir walking towards Jarnix.

    "Kuntent is just knocked out. But Jeriko is missing." Jarnix replied sighing.

    "You don't mean...." Interrupted a drone pointing at the direction where Turk had just went.

    "Yes.... I'm sorry, Skaarge." Gulped Tumbeir putting his hand on Skaarge's shoulder trying to calm him.

    "I'll kill him. I'll kill him with what ever I got, and have left." Growled Skaarge who walked towards the now visible reavers. The others did the same as Jarnix carried Kuntent back on their reaver.
    ------------------------
    Cast

    Jay the Arbiter as Venju
    SKORGE as Turk
    Last edited by Cog Edward; 08-04-2009 at 06:38 PM.
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  5. #165
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    Sweet work Edward. The fact that you intertwined this with Jay's fiction using elements and what not was awesome. And great work including Skaarge and Jeriko. Nice cameo I must say. And Turk? I am lost, I'm sorry but I created someone named Turk?

    I can't remember.....

    Great job none the less. Glad to see you writing once again!
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  6. #166
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    Two thumbs up,This was excellent. Keep it up
    TrueGears
    Thanks Lycan for the Alex
    Thanks *Zap* for the Adam fenix
    Thanks BRUTE for the LGS
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    Thanks Capt23n for the SGE

  7. #167
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    Nice work Edward! I enjoyed that chapter a lot, it was worth the wait .

    It's weird, everybody uses 'chortled' instead of 'chuckled' for their Locust fictions, lol.

    Nice work again man, keep it up.
    In Sera, peace doesn't exist...
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  8. #168
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    @ SKORGE: Yeah, you were gonna use Skaarge but since he's from GoW 2 it would have made no sense. So you made Turk, the father of Skaarge. And since jeriko was Skaarge's brother, I decided to make Turk both their fathers.

    @ KILLER WARDOG: Thanks man. Hope nothing comes up and I will continue my chapters.

    @ ChrisX: Yeah. I've seen it alot in Locust FF, so I decided to join.
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    Nice chapter and good to see you back writing again.

    You and Jay are the preeminent Locust fiction writers on the board, and writing Locust fiction is tough, hell, I know, I'm still working on mine.

    The thing about Turk and Jeriko is interesting, it's like zombie movies, do turned Lambent remember their old lives? Their old companions and friends? How do they feel about them? How do the Locust feel when they see brethren they once knew, turned to Lambent?

    Another thing I wondered, do Lambent turn Locust themselves when they capture them? Bizarrely, I imagine it to look something like the scene in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom", where Mola Raam forces Indy to drink the blood of Khali, except it's a form of imulsion the Locust are forced to drink. Anyways, I'm sure you'll cover that at some point. Looking forward to the next part.

  11. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealBigBoss View Post
    Nice chapter and good to see you back writing again.

    You and Jay are the preeminent Locust fiction writers on the board, and writing Locust fiction is tough, hell, I know, I'm still working on mine.

    The thing about Turk and Jeriko is interesting, it's like zombie movies, do turned Lambent remember their old lives? Their old companions and friends? How do they feel about them? How do the Locust feel when they see brethren they once knew, turned to Lambent?

    Another thing I wondered, do Lambent turn Locust themselves when they capture them? Bizarrely, I imagine it to look something like the scene in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom", where Mola Raam forces Indy to drink the blood of Khali, except it's a form of imulsion the Locust are forced to drink. Anyways, I'm sure you'll cover that at some point. Looking forward to the next part.
    I usually imagine it as a, holy imulsion pool that they made so they would 'Dip' the locust in and make them lambent, or maybe what you said. They have to drink something.
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  12. #172
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cog Edward View Post
    @ SKORGE: Yeah, you were gonna use Skaarge but since he's from GoW 2 it would have made no sense. So you made Turk, the father of Skaarge. And since jeriko was Skaarge's brother, I decided to make Turk both their fathers.
    Oh my god you remembered all that!?

    I had forgotten..... thanks for jolting my memory Edward.

    Hehe...
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  13. #173
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    I remembered because it's in my FF. .
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  14. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cog Edward View Post
    I remembered because it's in my FF. .


    Yeah, so when will we be seeing a new chapter?
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  15. #175
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    Well, today I got bible study (Thursdays), So hopefully tomorrow. If I'm in the mood.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cog Edward View Post
    Well, today I got bible study (Thursdays), So hopefully tomorrow. If I'm in the mood.
    Well alright, as long as your in the mood man! I want to see your best work, and that can't happen if your not in the mood. Trust me, we have all felt it.
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  17. #177
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    Good job, I like 'kuntent', though is seems like his name is a Locust like spelling of 'content', so maybe his name reflects his personality? Content with what to be exact?!

  18. #178
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    Actually, despite how it looks, it's pronounced, "Con(As in content)-Trent(As in the name). Just to say. If people like him more as Content, I'll change him back and give thought to your saying smurf.
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  19. #179
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    Oh, mk. I like him, the idea of the metal weights is pretty cool.

  20. #180
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    Thanks. I wanted to do that long time but I thought Kuntent would have a good use.
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    Yes Kuntent is perfect for this fiction. You know why? Because he is the one and only Kuntent Saviour of the Horde!
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  22. #182
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    Spoooooky. Anyways. New art is up thanks to TheRealBigBoss. It looks ultimatly kick ass. Out of ten, I give it a 1,000. I will add it on the top of the first post. Hope fully I will get more art soon.
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    That is some awesome artwork Boss! Nice look to it too!
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  24. #184
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    I'm going to spell it and say it Crontent, just to keep my childish humour at bay.

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    Never! I shall continue to say 'Kuntent'! So there! Kuntent Lives!
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

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    So you'll keep swearing?

    (Seriously though, i'm one of those unfortunate people that can't take a Police officer seriously if his squad car number is 69)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay the Arbiter View Post
    So you'll keep swearing?

    (Seriously though, i'm one of those unfortunate people that can't take a Police officer seriously if his squad car number is 69)
    I'm not swearing....

    And I lolled at the police car reaction. I mean what do you think, that the cop is immature, and just close the door on him?
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

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    Just say it out aloud, the bit before "Ent" is considered a nasty swear word.

    Which is why Edward confirmed it's Contrent, although i'm going with Crontent

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay the Arbiter View Post
    Just say it out aloud, the bit before "Ent" is considered a nasty swear word.

    Which is why Edward confirmed it's Contrent, although i'm going with Crontent
    Doh....... I see it.......

    I had always thought 'Kuntent' was 'Coon tent', well at lest the way I prenounced it. Not the other word you sly fox you!
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  30. #190
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    Back, hope to make some chapters soon.....
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  31. #191
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    For all readers hoping for more: Serious issues in ral life came up. I may not make a chapter in a very long time. but when I do or if I do, I'll make sure to send it to you.
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    Sorry. But like my message sais. Took a long time. This is just a short chapter to continue with everything else. Enjoy! There might be some typos since my computer has been acting slow.
    Chapter 12: Reunited

    As soon as the locust warriors made it back, one in particular, Skaarge, ran towards the queen's palace. His brother's capture must be heard and it must be dealt with. His mind was clouded in the evil thoughts of what would become of his brother. His mind was suddenly past that as two Theron Guards stopped Skaarge in his tracks.

    "No one enters the palace without being summoned, or guided." Called one of the vicious Therons as a hand was placed on Skaarge's shoulder.

    "He's with me, let us through at once." It was Jarnix. The feirsoum colonel's voice made the Guards shiver opening the door for the colonel. They both walked inside the clean golden room. The reflection, the paintings, and even the old shandalier always made the soldires strong. Skaarge was surprised as the sight. As many other drones, this was his first time inside the royal embrace. He saw Jarnix walking forward. The dark armor of the colonel moving made Skaarge realise that he had to be close to the colonel, or he'd be thrown out.

    "Thanks colonel." Murmured the drone. "But why did you come for my aid? I am just one of millions of drones!" Questioned Skaarge who was forced to keep moving through the long golden halls following the leader of the blood seekers.

    The fearsum colonel took a quick huff and was forced to remember an incedent that happened many years ago. He then saw that Skaarge was awaiting for an answer and Jarnix quickly gave it to him. "Many years ago, my brother was lost in battle, just like yours. No one was there to help, I was forced to go by myself secretly and try to save him. But by the time I got there, I was too late. He was chopped by a lambent butcher and served as dinner. I was a young drone back then and I was too much of a coward to get revenge. I then returned that night and swore that I would kill the capturer of my brother." Ended Jarnix with his right fist clutched.

    "Do you know who was this mysterious mastermind might be?" Skaarge gulped trying to get more answers out of the colonel. He was curious enough to get enough replies out of Jarnix.

    Jarnix clutched his fists more as his nails drove into his flesh, driving a few drops of blood off his hand. "Rontivan..." Chortled Jarnix trying to atleast make light into his dark abbyss.

    "Rontivan? Isn't he one of the three lambent leaders?" Asked Skaarge who was quickly introduced to the doors of the royal chamber. The tall, clean, giant doors touched to ensure the queens saftey. Two simbols shined in both of the doors, carved by a royal blade made by the first royal blood back when the hollow was just a rock. Jarnix showed his face to the Guards that were ensuring the Queens survival as they pushed both doors out of the colonel's way.

    "Yes," replied Jarnix. "Now close your snout and show respect to the queen." Huffed Jarnix who led the drone into the chamber. Skaarge was amazed from the sight that he thought he was on cloud nine. All of the sparkling silver and gold shined upon the young one. Guards everywhere making it seem that the throne room was the real city. Skaarge took a close look at everything. Including the fameous window behind the throne that represented the locust, the lambent, and the new discovery, the humans.

    "Bow down!" Murmmured Jarnix at Skaarge who was slapped back into reality. He took a bow for the queen as the royal blood made a sign to let them rise as the two quickly stood up.

    "Jarnix! Always a plesure to know you're alive. Now, what dose my best colonel need?" Asked the queen who was tapping her fingers into her throne making a beat for her entertainment.

    "My queen, the lambent enforcer known as Turk has struck again. He has taken one of ours prisoner!" Spoke Jarnix as he saw that Skaarge was about to make a big mistake. Speeking out of turn.

    "My queen, it is my brother, Jeriko, please help hi..." Desperatly spke Skaarge who was quickly cut off by the queen.

    "Silence drone! You will speak when told to speak." Angerly snapped the queen at Skaarge as she clamed back down.

    Skaarge then bowed his head in form of emberasment. "Yes your royal highness." Whispered Skaarge looking at the floor.

    "Now," The queen turned to the colonel to continue discussing the matter. "Jarnix, why go through so much trouble just to rescue a special drone? He hasn't been noted yet, and he has no special talent." Questioned the queen hoping to get a good enough answer to send him to the lambent. Not only did she think that the mission was a bit waste of time, but if he sent the colonel to get a quick drone, he might be killed and she would lose the best colonel she ever had.

    "Because my queen," reasoned Jarnix towards his royal leader. "While we are there, we can get info and at the same time, weaken the lambent from a special point." Pointed out Jarnix who let the queen think about this mission from a special point of view.

    "You are right colonel, this mission will happen!" Demanded the queen. "But one question Jarnix," Continued the queen taking a quick pause. " Why do you say we?" Questioned the queen as she stopped her tapping. She had a confused expression on her face as she saw that Jarnix was about to answer.

    "While there, why not have the best of the best there? That way we can assure victory!" Jarnix responded.

    "And who do you have in mind colonel?"

    "Raam, Tumbeir and I. And while there, the anger of this young drone might come in handy." Chortled Jarnix who made the queen have aquestionable answer. If they were to fail, the locust might be crippled, but if they were to succeed, the locust would have all their info and the lambent would be crippled. It was a one in a lifetime opportunity. It was a chance she had to take.

    "Tumbeir, Raam, yourself and the drone shall have my privoledge to go." Decided the queen. "But do be careful colonel, we don't want a bigger chance of losing."

    The colonel nodded and left the throne room with the drone. As the queen sent messengers to Raam and Tumbeir. The old team was about to reunite and nothing would stand in their way.
    ----------
    Jay the Arbiter as Venju
    SKORGE as Turk
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  33. #193
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    Funnily enough, i had taken a gander at this before you sent your message to me asking me to gander at it. (Psychic!)

    Anyway, please don't take this the wrong way, but i feel the need to be a bit honest. Your doing fine and it's good to see another FF writer make a return.

    However, you misspelled "Fearsome" on two occasions.

    The feirsoum colonel's voice
    and

    The fearsum colonel
    Also

    and even the old shandalier
    This one isn't too much of a problem, it's one of those words you can miss out on, but for the record, it's Chandelier.

    what dose my best
    I think you meant Does.

    Also, i have a slight problem with this
    Rontivan? Isn't he one of the three lambent leaders?"
    If this is refering to the "Overseers" then here's what i've got against it.
    The Overseers are my Fan creations, i would've preferred it if you had asked permission do anything with them. Also, the Overseers are supposed to remain a mystery. (If they AREN'T The Overseers, then disregard this quip)


    That's all from me, i'm not hating on it, but i just wanted to point those out.

  34. #194
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    Haha I forgot about Skaarge! That son'ma'gun! I forgot about Skaarge, Jeriko, and Turk? I had made up Turk? Hehe, I only remembered Skaarge....

    Anyway, great chapter man. And glad to have you back on board the reincarnation of the Story and Characters section. Nothing that bothered me in this chapter. Just glad to see you writing again.

    Oh and yeah Jay needs to ninja' again!?

    Edward Cane!
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)

  35. #195
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay the Arbiter View Post
    Funnily enough, i had taken a gander at this before you sent your message to me asking me to gander at it. (Psychic!)

    Anyway, please don't take this the wrong way, but i feel the need to be a bit honest. Your doing fine and it's good to see another FF writer make a return.

    However, you misspelled "Fearsome" on two occasions.



    and



    Also


    This one isn't too much of a problem, it's one of those words you can miss out on, but for the record, it's Chandelier.


    I think you meant Does.

    Also, i have a slight problem with this


    If this is refering to the "Overseers" then here's what i've got against it.
    The Overseers are my Fan creations, i would've preferred it if you had asked permission do anything with them. Also, the Overseers are supposed to remain a mystery. (If they AREN'T The Overseers, then disregard this quip)


    That's all from me, i'm not hating on it, but i just wanted to point those out.
    Nah dude. They ain't the overseers. They're like generals but stronger. I took a look at your stuff and I knew I couldn't do it without your permission. So don't worry they arn't the overseers. And thanks SKORGE. I still wanna see the end of your ff.
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    Alright then. It's all cool bro.

  37. #197
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    Good to know. I don't like having good friends angry at me.
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    To be honest, i was concerned about saying that because i was worried i might have offended you, and trust me, that is the last thing i want.

    Next time i have a quip with something, it's not out of anger, it's just something i need pointed out.

  39. #199
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    Great chapter Edward.

    It was cool to see the colonel share his past with Skaarge. I thought that was neat.

    Spelling mistakes were the only things that were errors within the chapter.
    In Sera, peace doesn't exist...
    Snowfall's Dexterity
    ...and it never will.

  40. #200
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    Which fiction are we talking about here Eddie? Tribes of Sera or the Unknowns?

    Anyway, more to come soon?
    I'll check in every now and again but for the most part, I won't be as active as I was previously. It really was the Gears + people that got me posting on here in the first place. Unless Epic release an awesome game or something. I'm leaving this message because I'm obviously a very, very important person.

    Hope to see a lot of you on the BT Forums! - 11/02/2014 (lol)


 
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