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  1. #1

    Default Pain...Misery...Torment (fanfic)

    I've never really written anything fictional before, so here goes...

    The bolded lines represent his thoughts (and if quotations are included he actually says it), the other lines are for narration. I hope it isn't confusing, enjoy.

    The story begins after a hellish blast has all but destroyed a military convoy. "Ahm" (pronounced AIM) is a fresh recruit into the G.E.A.R.s, and has never before seen combat. However, he is well trained, and a capable soldier with strong resolve.



    Pain…Misery…Torment…



    I can’t move, my legs are broken…no, not broken. God…what happened? Where’s the squad….

    Immobilized, but alive, Cadet George “ Ahm” Masterson struggles to free himself of the rubble slowly crushing his legs.

    God, what hit us? What could have hit us….Locust? No the locust are miles away, at least they were….maybe the commander was wro— “COMMANDER!”

    Having freed himself, Ahm pivots only to meet his fallen leader, his faced sheered by the shrapnel of a devastating explosion.

    Dead…and what of the squad, dead too? Almost certainly. I’ll die too….I…I…must… escape—

    Though strong in resolve, the young cadet has never born witness to the ravages of war…he vomits.

    I’m going to die here unless I can get free.

    With his remaining strength the Ahm frees himself from the rubble, and struggles drag himself on unresponsive arms (his legs remaining all but useless)to a burning car. In the wake of the explosion ash and smoke cloud the air. He can see nothing…and he hears only the fires burning.

    I’m a lucky one, I survived. The commander…he…he (vomits) he wasn’t so lucky.
    Suddenly footsteps can be heard, growing louder…

    Oh god. Locust! I'm dead, lord....well If I die…I die fighting!

    The cadet un-slings his lancer from his back

    Oh god….oh god….molten….destroyed….god………OH GOD!

    His Lancer, strapped to his back during the explosion bore the full brunt of the devastating impact, it was his last chance.

    What will I do? No weapon…nothing?

    Panic overwhelms him, his mind races...he has only seconds until the Locust will be upon him. Suddenly he realizes...

    The Commander! His shotgun! God I hope it’s intact!

    With all his strength the cadet slowly staggers to his fallen leader, and upon turning him finds a shotgun…sheltered from the explosion by the esteemed leader’s body, of all things.

    8 shells…. (footsteps)...my only hope. I am a G.E.A.R., I am man, I am a killer….a beast…

    The crunch of approaching footsteps brings dread and terror to the cadet. His adrenaline surges…his muscles tighten, he is a killer. A shape appears just inside his field of vision....and slowly the cadet takes aim.

    Aim for the head…the instructor said “Aim for the Head”…

    More shapes appear and approach, unknowing, surveying their days kill. A Locust soldier with the still smouldering barrel of his RPG clasped in his brutish hands, scans the ruins of the convoy. He notices something amiss…drag marks, a prone body…a barrel…GRKKH. His thoughts are silenced by a merciless shotgun blast to his skull. The abrupt shots alert remaining locust…who proceed to swarm

    7 shots…how many are there…oh god….”YOU MOTHERLESS BASTAR—(BAM, BAM) – THERE’S ONE STILL HERE….and he’s going to GIVE IT TO YA!”

    The warriors charge…3 more blasts…the closest warrior is immediately torn in half at the waste by the opening volley, his blood spray obscuring the vision of his 2 masked comrades. 2 more shots…Frantic, the drones desperately try to clear their masks of their own comrade’s blood and entrails as the blasts tear the leg from the socket of the next drone.

    “DIE!”

    Unable to support himself, the drone falls, and with a loud crunch punctures his skull on protruding rebar. The rebar pierces his brain; neurons fire, and violent spasms result. The violent spasms trigger his weapon which fires, the shots landing squarely in the abdomen of the remaining grunt.

    2 shots…one left…easy kill…

    Surging with adrenaline Ahm raises himself to his feet. He takes careful aim he pulls the trigger…CLICK…

    Empty!!

    The locust may be down, but he’s not out…bent on revenge, and using his remaining strength he raises the barrel of his hammerburst; ready to kill.

    With every last ounce of strength Ahm charges forward, intent on seeing the butt of his shotgun buried in the brain of his nearly helpless attacker.

    As Ahm rears up the Locust’s hammerburst fires…a glancing hit…not enough to deter his opponent. Hit but seemingly unharmed Ahm forces the butt of his gun through the skull of his foe with a sickening crunch…

    Ahm stands over his opponent, surveying the grisly remains of his attackers. He leans down, and with the spite of a man tormented by the death of his race he utters…

    “I am man…a G.E.A.R….your race will come to know me well; today your extermination begins.”

    With a final sickening crunch he rips his gun from the skull of his foe.



    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ___________________


    Ahm canters to a nearby building, and collapses. His body is broken…his legs ache, and the glancing blow has broken several of his ribs; his breathing becomes increasingly laboured. He is dieing.

    Part 2, coming soon


    Any suggestions on format are welcome, and any feedback is appreciated.

  2. #2

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    god i love fanfics...this is good bro..keep up the good work!
    THE GEARS ARE IN MOTION

  3. #3
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    This is a winner. I don't usually read fanfics, but yours kept me glued. I love the 'internal monolouge' format, as well as Ahm's horror at realizing what happened to his squad.

    Keep it coming!
    Gears of War is for clintmen. Are YOU clint enough?
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    It just blows things up. WAY UP!

  4. #4

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    Okay! Good, I like fanfic. Write much of it myself. Keep going!

  5. #5

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    Here's part 2, just finished writing it. It's shorter than the first, but I hope you enjoy. The bolded parts again represent thoughts or dialogue.


    Mistakes can Happen



    Ahm struggles to stay alive, he has internal in juries, and is dieing.

    BANG – “George!” the ruler stick smacks hard against a school desk.

    What? Mrs. Watson...I…uh…was paying attention

    Mrs. W: Well maybe you can tell me what the lesson was about then?

    Uh…geography?

    Mrs. W: Very good, considering you’re in geography class though…I’d suggest a more direct answer.

    Well…I…uh…continents maybe?

    Mrs. W: NO…to the principles office with you…your in big trouble….big trouble!

    Mrs. Watson Ahm’s old geography starts slapping his desk violently with the metre stick…

    (louder) –BANG- BIG TOUBLE!… (louder) –BANG- BIG TROUBLE!!….(LOUDER)

    Ahm regains consciousness…the sounds of war surround him, shots ring though the air…BANG… War has found him.

    How long have I been out (he struggles to check his watch)…minutes…it felt like so long, I was in geography class. I think…I think I’m dieing….

    Gunshots buzz nearby, a battle rages nearby…the distinct sounds of locust weapons can be heard…but the sounds of human fire also bears closer, though from the sounds of battle...they are woefully outnumbered.

    Humans…maybe it’s my squad here to help me…maybe they survived…maybe…”HEY OVER HE—“(gunshots ring past Ahm’s head).

    [B]Stupid...they're outnumbered, they can't reach me. I'm going to die...but why?! why so soon?! I've done nothing, helped no one...I'm going to die in vain...god

    Ahm, dazed, reaches again for the shotgun.

    Jammed…I remember now...god, my salvation is so close, and I'm going to die…with nothing.

    A gunshot ricochets and strikes the body of the fallen commander, the impact shakes lose a grenade previously held tight in the death grip of the fallen commander.

    A grenade...it's something..

    Despite his wounds Ahm drags his body to the grenade. His hands are sticky with sweat and blood, and they tremble as he handles the device, but he arms the grenade despite it all.

    At least I'm not defenseless. At least I have something...(his breathing begins to become laboured).

    He can here the soldiers now. Though ash and smoke cloud his vision, Ahm knows they’re close, and he's close enough to know the humans are losing.

    There goes my salvation. (chuckle)

    Ahm (morbidly chuckling to himself) can here the footfalls of the warring soldiers now. Ahm cocks his arm in an attempt to throw the grenade...but his body is borken, and breathless...he lacks the ability to throw with any accuracy and range, and he knows it.

    (cough)...how did I get to be so useless...(chuckles)

    Ahm realizes his fate, one way or another he's going to die. He's coughing blood now, and his breath is becoming a rattle. Rather than die by a Locust hand, he chooses to make them die by his. The shots appear to come closer, heading straight towards him...

    Ahm arms the grenade, and clutches it to his chest 10 seconds to explosion… There is some honor in suicide...honor is all he believes he has left.

    10…the soldiers come closer…soon they'll be upon him...close enough to die in his final blaze of glory

    Good...fallback...retreat...I'm waiting. We'll do...this...together...

    9…Ahm sees the shapes of his assailants…

    8… Ahm sees the muzzle flashs of the firefight raging within feet of him…

    7… The shots echo an end to the battle, and begin to die down...the human guns have been silenced.

    6…1 final shota Locust weapon…There is no doubt now, time is his only enemy now!

    5…His assailants begin their approach

    4…The shapes move slowly…not like attackers.

    Come...finish what you started...come to me

    3…The shapes breach the fog and the remains of the squad appear holding almost exclusively Locust weapons

    2… Ahm realizes his folly, he’s dooming his rescuers, and himself…


    GOD.................................

    1… Despite his broken body Ahm does what any good soldier would do, he rolls over the grenade...

    0...


    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ___________________


    Part 3, coming soon

  6. #6
    MSgt. Shooter Person
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    That was awesome! keep it coming

  7. #7
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    Are you sure this is your first? that was awesome.
    Hey Dom! The Kryll aren't our friends!

    FFC Author- Epic, sticky the thread!

  8. #8
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    Oooh, a cliffhanger!
    Gears of War is for clintmen. Are YOU clint enough?
    http://www.churchofclint.com
    Quote Originally Posted by Cover is a friend
    It just blows things up. WAY UP!

  9. #9

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    Here's part 3

    it's from a different perspective. Hope it makes sense and you enjoy it.

    Points of View

    Journal: Fengus Marx (Private 1st class)

    1330 hours,


    Doc suggested I keep a journal, just to get my head straight…far be it from me to argue with a doctor, and my sanity can use all the help it can get. We’ve joined up with gamma squad on their patrols through Cryodel city. They’ve been coming under some fire as of late, though the commander assures us that all Locust activity has left the area. We are to escort a convoy through the inner city and join up with omega in the south-western industrial block. Normally I wouldn’t be troubled, but something has got me going. I keep seeing shadows everywhere; I think we’re being followed. I don’t know though, nobody else feels anything amiss. I keep having strange thoughts, and sometimes I get so paranoid, and scared for no reason, of course I’m always careful to keep my guard up, I don’t want to be a Section 79… no…I’m not crazy, I just need to straighten myself out. Anyway we’re to march until we reach the inner city cathedral. I have to gear up for the convoy, no rest for the weary.


    “Get up Private!”

    With a sharp kick to the ribs Lieutenant Reynolds drives his point home.

    “wha…what the f-” -BOOM-

    Somewhere nearby some sort of compressed gas canister ruptured and had exploded violently. The sound was enough to rock Marx into life. He sprung to cover and drew his lancer.

    “Lieutenant!”

    Lieu.: “Stand alert soldier, nothing’s gonna bite your ass”

    A massive vein protruded from Marx’s forehead, he was (to say the least) high-strung, and edgy. The same recruit who had just been revaluated as a Section 79 (mentally unfit for combat), was in no shape for the stresses of war.

    “Sir, yes sir!”

    Lieu: “Felps, McGregory, Owens, Ahm! Sound off!”


    One after the other Felps and McGregory sounded off their status.

    Lieu: “Owens, Ahm!?...OWENS….AHM?!”

    No response…

    Lieu: “Marx…find Owens, rear convoy! Felps, you find Ahm, front convoy! The rest of you, find the commander!”

    (Unison) “Sir!”

    Marx shouldered his lancer, and trotted off through the rubble. The air was thick in the wake of a recent explosion. Several civilians attached to the convoy lay in various chunks on the ground. Owens was stationed as a rear guard, so Marx proceeded to the rear of the convoy.

    “Owens!.... OWENS!”

    Nothing

    OWENS!....OWE” –crunch-

    A sickening crunch alerted Marx to Owens’s presence. Owens lay in various places, the largest of which (his torso) was now crushed firmly underneath the boot of Private Marx. His body was charred, and had become brittle, and only now did the stench reach Marx’s nostrils.

    -vomit- “lord….”

    Marx spun and continued back towards the squad. His body was trembling, as his brain tried to comprehend the horrors of the body. His body was slowly losing the battle to shellshock and battle fatigue, Marx was on the verge of shutting down.

    “Sir, Owens is KIA sir!”

    Lieu: “Ok, squad listen up! Owens is KIA, and Felps reports that the front convoy has been cut off by rubble. Last we heard the commander was up with Ahm in the front convoy…we need to get there. McGregory reports a clear route around the rubble to the west, gather weapons and ammo, we’re heading out!”

    “Sir, shouldn’t we look for survivors?”

    Lieu: “The convoy is dead, and there are G.E.A.R.s out there….saddle up!”

    As it turned out, Marx and Lieutenant Reynolds had the only functional lancers left, though Reynolds was desperately low on ammo. The squad moved west to rendezvous with the front convoy.

    Lieu: “Hold” (he whispered)

    The squad took cover in the rubble of a collapsed building.

    Lieu: “Locust”

    Three Locust stood in a clearing beyond a wall of smoke that no doubt shielded the front of the convoy. Suddenly shotgun blasts erupted and the three Locust sprinted into the fog.

    Lieu: “That’s the commander’s shotgun….move to intercept!”

    The squad drew their weapons, and proceeded out from cover only to be stopped by the Lieutenant mere metres from the smoke of the convoy.

    Lieu: “Back to cover!”

    He barely had the time to yell his command when 8 grunts immerged from a collapsed building in an adjacent square. As a unit the squad leapt into the wreckage of a nearby bus.

    Lieu: “they didn’t see us, but we have to get the commander, and we can’t just leave them there”

    The lieutenant peered through a fist sized hole in the side of the bus.

    Lieu: “Marx you have a weapon, you take Felps and flank right…McGregory you’re with me. DO NOT fire until I give the signal!”

    By the time Marx and Felps reached their position the shotgun blasts had long died away. They crouched behind a ruined retaining wall and surveyed their targets.

    Eight locust….eight locust….2 to one, god we’re outnumbered….

    Marx began to tremble, though he barely recognized the sensation. The Lieutenant had reached his position, but McGregory seemed to have lagged behind.

    “Where’s McGregory?” he whispered

    Felps: “I don’t know…your radio working?”

    “No, it hasn’t worked since the explosion.”

    Felps: “mine too…”


    They remained motionless, wondering what had happened to McGregory. They saw the Lieutenant motioning with his hand towards the rubble. McGregory must have been making his way through the rubble to the Lieutenant. Suddenly the Locust all focused their attention on the Lieutenants position….something had alerted them. They all raised their weapons and launched a barrage into the Lieutenants position.

    Felps: “I guess that’s a signal!”

    Felps went to run from cover but Marx remained motionless, trembling, with a blank expression.

    Felps: “Marx…Mar-, Christ….”

    Without saying anything more Felps took Marx’s lancer and ran towards the Locust. Marx was paralyzed by fear; his nervous system began to shut out the stress.

    Section 79: mentally unfit for duty

    Felps bolted across the square. The Locust were still barraging the rubble, and could hardly notice his progression to their position. He reached a group of destroyed cars and took cover. He reared up with his Lancer and let loose a barrage into the Locust. He cut down one grunt with his fire. The others, now aware of him, split and took cover. Shots began to ring over his head.

    Mentally…unfit…for…duty

    Shots now rang from the opposite end of the square. Both McGregory and the Lieutenant were now huddled in the crook of a quickly crumbling building. One more Locust fell, a bloody swap cut through his mask by a well placed pistol shot. Felps rose once more and began to attack again, trapping the Locust in a cross fire. Shots suddenly erupted through a car door and struck Felps in the left pectoral….rupturing his lung, and exiting through his back. Without a cry for agony Felps fell to the ground as more shots erupted through the twisted metal.

    The Lieutenant had barely 20 rounds left, and McGregory was down to his last clip for his pistol. The squad devastated by the explosion had no grenades, and no shotguns with them. Lieutenant Reynolds rose again and unloaded his final rounds into the torso of a nearby grunt as he ran for cover. The grunt skidded to a nearby car, his hammerburst skidding to within feet of the Lieutenant.

    Felps gasped for air, twitching on the ground as blood filled his lungs slowly drowning him. The sounds of heavy panicked footsteps approached, the Locust were frantically running to his position to catch the Lieutenant and McGregory in a cross fire of their own.

    Mentally…unfit….for…

    The lieutenant slid out from cover grabbing the hammerburst as he went.

    With pistol shots ringing around them the Locust sprinted for Felps’ position. They made the edge of the cars and catapulted over them with ease, landing within feet of Felps.
    One grunt hurdled the final car and met Felps’ twitching form, he quickly lowered his weapon, ready to finish his kill, but as soon as he could lower his arm the serrated teeth of a chainsaw bit into his torso.

    ..unfit…for…DUTY!!

    Marx stood holding the lancer he had reclaimed from Felps, the chainsaw bayonet roaring to life. The grunt began to spasm violently as the teeth chewed their way through his internal organs. Marx stared intenly with the eyes of a madman, he roared and plunged the saw deeper into the grunt with insane ferocity. Blood haemorrhaged violently from the chest cavity of the quivering corpse. He ripped the rumbling machine from the ravaged ribcage of the grunt and bore round to face the second grunt. The lone grunt tried to raise his weapon, but was hurdling a car as he did so. He clumsily raised his weapon but in doing so managed to trip himself up on a car door. He landed in a heap feet away form Marx. He looked frantically around, but Marx was gone. He scrambled to get up but was cut short when Marx rammed the muzzle of his gun into the back of the grunts head and fired off his remaining 30 rounds into the grunt’s skull.

    The lieutenant took up his position and began engaging the remaining locust. The Locust scrambled and ran towards the smoke of the ruined convoy….desperate to find cover. The Lieutenant fired striking one grunt in the legs causing him to fall. The other Locust changed their course and headed left to Felps, and Marx’s position. Another Locust fell as McGregory unloaded his pistol into its spine. The final grunt ran through the ruined buildings, only to be stopped by the swinging butt of a now empty Lancer. Marx stood over the caved in skull of the squirming grunt, his gaze transfixed to the grisly sight. Marx made his way out the building to the Lieutenant.


    Lieu: “Felps?!”
    Last edited by KennyTouchdown; 08-13-2006 at 06:07 PM.

  10. #10

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    (it was too long , so here;s the rest of it)

    Marx shook his head, and glanced at the now still form of Felps’ corpse. Without another word the Lieutenant motioned towards the smoke. They formed up into a group, and proceeded slowly into the fog. The Lieutenant unloaded a final round into the skull of the squirming legless grunt his had hit before.

    They proceeded slowly into the smoke, intent on finding the source of the shotgun blasts they had heard previous. The Lieutenant leads the squad through the fog, hammerburst in hand….praying they find something friendly on the other side.

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ___________________

    Part 4 coming soon

    The Lieutenant and the squad emerge form the mist to find an armed grenade waiting for them....

  11. #11

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    man this is the first fanfic i have ever read on gears and i love it man nice

  12. #12
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    Good job looking forward to part 4.
    I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Charlie Sheen

  13. #13
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    I loved how gruesome and brutal Part 3 got. I'm really digging this so far.

    You've got a lot of really interesting devices, especially the repetition of 'mentally unfit for duty'. That's pretty rad.
    Gears of War is for clintmen. Are YOU clint enough?
    http://www.churchofclint.com
    Quote Originally Posted by Cover is a friend
    It just blows things up. WAY UP!

  14. #14
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    I hope theres one dude in the game that says stupit **** like in halo 2 while your playing with a thousand redneck sayings, then the game will get a 10 out of 10, 4 sho

  15. #15
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    OMG A FREAKING ARMED GRENADE BOOMAWHAMMIE!!!

    EXPLODENATION!!!

    PART 4 SHOULD HAVE ZOMBIES IN IT... YEAH, LOCUST ZOMBIES...heheheheh...

    BRAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNSSS
    "RRRRRRAAAAHHHRRRR!!!!!!!!!"~Marcus, chainsawing Locust in half.

    Boomshot go BOOM, Locust go SPLAT.

    The bus is on a roll, baby

    Are you THE Marcus Fenix?

    Yep.

    Wow! Cool!

    ...Not really.

  16. #16
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    dont worry dude the game will be hear in no time, put down the pepsi

  17. #17
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    Please let's stay on topic... Can't wait fo Part 4... whatever happened to Marx???

  18. #18
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  19. #19
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    who cares about the faceplate. if you want to show us a crappy mad catz generic faceplate, then post a thread about it

  20. #20
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    its crappy untill i see it but people put crap I saw months ago

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by cakemonkey
    dont worry dude the game will be hear in no time, put down the pepsi
    lol... I think.... That in one level... you'll be trapped in a shopping mall... with locust zombies.... and stuff.... Shawn of the dead 2: OMG TEH LOCUST R HERE!!!111
    "RRRRRRAAAAHHHRRRR!!!!!!!!!"~Marcus, chainsawing Locust in half.

    Boomshot go BOOM, Locust go SPLAT.

    The bus is on a roll, baby

    Are you THE Marcus Fenix?

    Yep.

    Wow! Cool!

    ...Not really.


 

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