View Full Version : SP0P's Survival Guide to Xbox Live

08-14-2009, 03:12 AM
A)Rule #1: Be an Idiot.
1) -People don't respect you, but they also are intrigued that you're such a
dumbass! So they become your friends!
2) -Best excuse to cover up that you really are kind of an idiot.
3) -As stupid as you are... You will still succeed with your talents!
Just don't talk, because 95% of what comes out of your mouth
is not worth saying.
4) -If you really don't know somthing, you can ask someone and they
wont think anything of it, because, they already know you're
an idiot!

B)Rule #2: Comebacks.
1) -Always call someone gay! Because that comeback is so orginal, random, and out
of this world they will have no idea what to say back!
2) -What ever the opponent calls you, call them the same thing back.
This relates back to rule number 1.
(EX: SP0P you're f***ing stupid :: No, you're f***ing stupid!)
3) -Over XBOX Live, ALWAYS say "Say that to my face B***H!" Because
everyone already knows they wont travel 1000+ miles to really say it to
your face, after this you can follow up with calling them a
***** for not agreeing to do so.

C)Rule #3: Appear offline!
1) -God knows you don't want your 8/30 real friends to know you play
Xbox 24/7! So appearing offline is just a click away!
2) -Let it be known if you appear offline, less people will bother
you! Well.. if you had people to bother you.
3) -DON'T put your status as Offline on privacy settings, It never
works. Trust me. It doesn't.

D)Rule #4: Bad at Gaming..
1) -So you've been playing the same video game atleast 2 years
by now and you aren't as good as most of the people who
picked up the game yesterday. No biggie! Resort to these rules in
order - Rule 2, THEN 3. They will never know...hehe.
2) -Don't blame the other people around you for sucking at
gaming. Blame yourself! God only knows you have played
A game since launch 1 year back and you're still only
a caption grade 2! You just suck!
3) -Don't pick up a competitive game like Gears of War/Halo/Cod4
Instead, pick up games like Blue Dragon, Assassins Creed,
and Fallout! That way NO ONE knows that you suck unless
they look at your achievements, and whos gonna do that?
Am I right?

E)Rule #5: Turn that Smile Into Denial!
1) -No one goes on Xbox Live for a fun filled adventure of happiness.
You are mad, angry, and plain mortified you got killed.
Yell your lungs out at the TV/Controller/Wife.
2) -Many people put the controller down and go outside.
What real badasses do is go into the fetal position,
Yell at the TV, or head straight to the computer forums
and whine to the community.
3) -A wise man once said, "As long as I know that I tried
my best, I'm satisfied." ...**** That, you just got
pwned by the noobiest noob of all noobdom. Get better
or GTFO.

F)Rule #6: Go public!!!
1) -As soon as you realize you qualify for all of these
You are very sad. So why not express it to everyone
you know!
2) -Put your freedom of speech in your bio!
3) -Write a survival guide about it! ...wait...