first fan fic i wrote

[McMaster White]

this is my first time writing so it might sound like it doesnt make sense at first but ill make a better one


Chapter 1 The fallen Raven

So there we were heading out to landown to dig deep in to the hollow to hit the locust where they live. So me and my squad Alpha 3 are riding in the Raven when suddenly we've been hit by a nemacyst motar. We knew there were seeders in the area but our sarge wanted to head out today. But of course were the unlucky ones who have the impatienced leader. So were falling at about 35 40 mph and as soon as we crashed everthing went pitch black in my left eye. I'm still alive and so is sarge i was stabbed by a point on my bayonet but our sarge is fine. The crack head tells me to open my eye and ill be fine that pised me off. So i put on one of the extra helmets we had laying around i might not see snipers to good i told sarge. And he gave the lecture about Carmine was a good soilder. I know he was but that doesnt meen i can't crack a joke once ans a while. So were about 15 minutes away from the crash me Sargent Ruldough his name may sound funny but he'll f**k you up if you make fun of him. Now we still have Private Thompson and Cpl Redhawk. Now as were walking around the snowy forest a reaver fly above us so we know were close to landown. Soon we came across some tickers. Stupid little bastards we say after we got through the tickers we seen Delta squad coming in to landown so we called in but our military equipment always works. Were in landown finally and we find an old abandoned DERRICK with unused grindlifts so fire them up and head under ground.

i know there not alot of action but there will be in the next chapter

[ferrugem]

Post this in the Story and Characters Forum orelse someone will bite your head off! xP
There's some grammar and spelling problems, but nothing a spellcheck cant fix! xP
Its a good idea for a story, tho.

[McMaster White]

Post this in the Story and Characters Forum orelse someone will bite your head off! xP
There's some grammar and spelling problems, but nothing a spellcheck cant fix! xP
Its a good idea for a story, tho.

how do i do that

[CommanderRown]

Good read. Keep it up.

[andywily889]

Nice. This is good story and I am eagerly waiting for next chapter. There are some grammar and spelling problems but story base is clear. I like your thoughts and Its is more imaginative thanks for share your imagination with me.