GOW Children of War. Fan Fic.

[Mr iXassas1n]

I feel like a dumbass sorry, i just joined this site a week ago...

[S1leNt RIP]

Don't worry! I just thought you might have been one of those people who come in, don't read your story, and link to theirs...like this one dork who was like "yeah your story's okay, but check THIS out!" It was crazy!

[Mr iXassas1n]

lol, i read your story its awesome

[S1leNt RIP]

Wow, I just realized it took me a year and two days exactly to write this! Dang!

So all of my screaming, raving fans, would you rather that I write the entire thing next time and then post it week by week (if I ever finish it) or should I do the every-time-I-take-enough-time-to-write-again route, meaning month by month if that?

[TheRealBigBoss]

Wow, I just realized it took me a year and two days exactly to write this! Dang!

So all of my screaming, raving fans, would you rather that I write the entire thing next time and then post it week by week (if I ever finish it) or should I do the every-time-I-take-enough-time-to-write-again route, meaning month by month if that?

How about doing shorter stories? That way you can experiment with new characters and settings on a fairly regular basis. But, if you want to, you can also include characters from Children Of War, putting them in new locations with new storylines. You could even link the stories together to create kind of an extended novella type thing, or just do stories that are completely independent of each other. There's a lot of possibilities. But I don't think you should feel pressured to write, because rushing stuff can affect the quality. But hey, it's entirely up to you.

[S1leNt RIP]

Those are all good ideas, but I really want to finish the Children of War story, and I have a definite end in mind (no speculating) that I'd like to write, and I even have most of the story ready and planned out (and a few pages written), it's just that I'm having trouble really getting into writing it!

We'll see though, I'm actually trying to write it right now, but I have little brothers running and shouting all over the place, so yeah! lol.

[TheRealBigBoss]

Those are all good ideas, but I really want to finish the Children of War story, and I have a definite end in mind (no speculating) that I'd like to write, and I even have most of the story ready and planned out (and a few pages written), it's just that I'm having trouble really getting into writing it!

We'll see though, I'm actually trying to write it right now, but I have little brothers running and shouting all over the place, so yeah! lol.

Yeah, it's pretty easy to get distracted and loose your groove. Especially in complicated fight scenes!

But I'm sure it'll be worth the wait.

[S1leNt RIP]

Thanks man! I appreciate it!

Edit: Just made a poll btw.

[Jay the Arbiter]

I voted Daze!

Truth be told, i sort of starting reading this from the second half, although i loved what i read!

Seeing as how i'm currently stuck on mine, i'm going to read Yours all the way through now. (As well as some others, i need a good read!)

[S1leNt RIP]

lol! That is exactly how I feel, but I just can't find too many for inspiration! Something with a similar plot, but still awesome and original!

Hopefully it'll get you outta writers block!

[jurnag12]

man this is awesome!
I spend 4 hours reading this (straight) and it have been 4 hours extremely well spend.
do you have any plans continuing this FF?

[S1leNt RIP]

Dude! Thanks for reading! I haven't really been expecting any new readers, but thanks for the support!

Children of War II is stuck in limbo right now, I started it but it's hard to really get going! I'll try though, and would you guys rather reading it in monthly spurts, or should I wait till I'm about halfway through then start posting the chapters?

[jurnag12]

there will be a part II! Jolly!
go for monthly spurts, it will be like a comic book

[S1leNt RIP]

lol! All right dude...then maybe I'll finish the first chapter and get it posted! This shall be epic!!!!

[jurnag12]

please! this stuff is awesome!
and hell yeah it's gonna be epic! you're a great writer!
I think I am using too much exclamation marks!

[Cog Edward]

Might need some more action for the next chapters.
EDIT: I did'nt like it so much.

[S1leNt RIP]

Which chapters, cause I started off a total newb at writing, but once I stopped trying to write an action sequence every chapter it starts getting better. Unless you finished it, in which case I'd love some feedback about what you didn't like.

[Cog Edward]

Well for one it did'nt have much action.The first chapter and the beginning of the second chapter is all about intruducing or making disitions.So that's one; Two, there are too many charecters, unless some of them are going to die then it's ok. Third they're are all teens so they should have a guardian unless I did'nt read right and they do have one. I only read the first three chapters because like I said. I did'nt like it so much.

[jurnag12]

they have/had a Guardian, she is/was called Theresa, the one who owned the orphanage they all inhabited.
she later SPOILERSPOILERSPOILER got killed when the Locust attacked the orphanage, although it is possible she survived due to a clue of someone surviving, if it was there (I have a bad memory)

[S1leNt RIP]

You're right Jurnag12, and she did survive, except I left that clue in there until I finished playing Gears 2 because my first idea had been to have Maria be the one who ran the orphanage, but I waited just to make sure there weren't any canon issues, so yeah, consider Maria the official "guardian."

But to Edward, I'm not sure exactly why they would need a guardian since they are stranded. I do keep the characters around, but I know what you mean, I'm gonna try and not do that again, it gets really hard to keep track of everyone. Also, this was the first piece of creative writing that I'd EVER done...so it's pretty sketch in the first few chapters, but if you get to about 13 then the writing starts to make a drastic improvement, and in the end it's pretty dang good if I do say so myself.

But to each his own, if you don't enjoy it then there's no point in reading it...so yeah it's all good man!

[Rosie132465]

Children of War II? Sweet!

[S1leNt RIP]

Oh yeah! And chapter one is done and awaiting review on the CZ forums...I'm going to wait to post here till I have it perfect!

[Jay the Arbiter]

You'll let us know when it's up right? We need a good read!

[S1leNt RIP]

If you want to read it on the CZ then head over, otherwise I'm waiting to post it here until I'm sure it's good enough, and I'm also waiting till I have chapter 2 done!

Here is the link. http://thecreativeforums.myfastforum.org/ It's under writing and fanfiction of course.

[Cwuddly Panda]

Excellent work S1lent.

Spent the last hour or so from start to finish, not as an insult or anything - but some chapters weren't as good as the others, it was probably because of the scene change etc, I always find it hard to start again when I've stopped.

I have a similiar writing style to you, probably somewhat longer aswell, seeing as I may have more time on my hands, but if I get any requests..I might make a trailer for some or something.. Depends if I'm busy playing Fable or not.

/Bookmarked for the fourth time.

[S1leNt RIP]

Lol, well obviously some are going to be better than others, sometimes you have to set up the action with dialogue, thanks for reading it though, I'm surprised that people are still finding it!

Have you written one yet? If so I'd like a link, I try to at least read a little of all the new fanfics that come in, maybe help out a newb or two, and of course every now and then find something really good to read!

I'm not sure what you mean by trailer, you mean like a prologue for a fan fic you might write?

[Cwuddly Panda]

@ Last Line,
Yeah, that..I tend to use different words than most people.. I'm odd like that.

Anyway, no I haven't written one yet, I'll get to it sometime later on.. I just came back from this funeral like a 5 hour drive away, so.. :P

@Poll options

I think I'll take my mind off of Susan, and put a vote on Jet.. He seems cool

[Cwuddly Panda]

My fan fic is out now Silent, read the bottom of my signature - CP's Fan Fic!

[S1leNt RIP]

Posted this in the Children of War II thread, but I'm posting it here to make the other thread a little more streamlined, what with chapter two getting a little nearer to completion.


Note: This was for the Gears RP site a while back so there are certain things that came into play there that wouldn't in the normal Children of War/Gears timeline.

Swamp Cypress

Daze moved with caution through the marshy ground that made up Swamp Cypress. He raised a fist to halt the small group of warriors who followed him. These were some of Daze’s best.

“What is it Daze?“ Carl Peterson moved up next to him, “do you see anything?”

“I’m not sure, follow me.” Daze and Carl moved through the lush undergrowth, birds singing in the trees and insects buzzing around their heads.

Daze had intercepted a report of a king raven crash landing around the swamps and decided check it out immediately. He had brought along some of the best technical and mechanical experts available to the stranded, as well as enough parts to hopefully fix any problems there might be.
He had also brought the old commercial helicopter pilot Carl.

Carl had been a family man who was lucky enough to have been living near the plateau before e-day. He had evacuated his family in his private helicopter that he usually used for giving flight seeing tours of the beautiful Ephyra city. After making sure his family was safe he had gone back for some personal items and supplies. He made it away from his house just as the locust started their assault. One lucky sniper even hit the fuel line so that Carl had to land a few miles from the plateau and traverse the rest of the way on foot.

When he finally got to the fortress he was turned away by the COG. Although he resented the fact that he could not be with his family, he also was thankful that they were safe. He then joined up with some of the other stranded and has survived ever since, keeping in occasional communication with his wife and four sons.


Daze and Carl heard voices from up ahead.

“Go back and have the others flank,” Daze whispered, “then I want you to come back to me. Make sure they wait to fire unless I give a signal.”

“You got it.”

Daze slunk through the tall grasses and reeds along a small stream. He moved up closer to the sounds. He heard a splash and then someone swore.

“F*ck!” the voice came from no more than twenty yards, “Now I smell like sh*t!”

“Not like you ever smelled much better!” a high, female voice laughed.

“If you weren’t my cousin I’d seriously…”

“What? I was always better than you at shooting, and the times we’ve sparred have never ended well for you.”

“I’ll give you the shooting part, but I always took it easy when we fought.”

“Whatever.”

“Quit your laughing and help me get this radio working again.”

Daze peered through the reeds and could make out two COGs, both in standard uniform and armor, as they walked about the King Raven. He also saw a Pilot laying some little distance from where the other two had set up floodlights.

Daze stepped quickly across a couple rocks and said to the two inside the cockpit. “Come on out of there.”

The man immediately reached for his lancer, but Daze checked him as he did. “I’ve got you two surrounded. I wouldn‘t try anything stupid.”

As Daze was talking, Carl walked up and took the weapons from the two cogs.

“Now you stop right now!” Daze guessed that the boy was no more than twenty-four years old. He put the girl at maybe twenty-six.

“You can’t do this to us,” the boy continued to splutter in rage. “Victoria, tell them to lay off!”

“Shut up already Caleb!” Victoria ordered in an angry tone. “We’re P-O-Ws, we can’t tell them to do anything.”

“You’re not our prisoners,” Daze said as Carl handed him their weapons, “I just didn’t want either of you doing anything you might regret later.”

“How many of you are there?” Caleb asked with more than a little contempt in his voice.

“Now what kind of leader would I be if I told you that?” Daze asked smiling.

“I dunno, maybe more than a kindergartener on hike. Why don‘t you face me like a man?”

Daze chuckled to himself. “You think you can take me soldier?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

Now it was Caleb’s turn to laugh. “Are you kidding me? Hah! You don’t stand a chance!”

“Well since I’m the challenged opponent than I think we’ll have it out right here with knives.”

“Whatever you say kid,” Caleb started walking towards Daze, “Now if you’ll give me my knife.”

Daze tossed it to him and drew his own knife.

They began circling each other as both of them looked for the others weaknesses.

Daze didn’t have the added protection of Caleb’s full suit of armor, but he also wasn’t weighed down by it.

“Come here you!” Caleb shouted as he rushed.

Daze sidestepped quickly and tripped Caleb into the pond as his momentum carried him forward.

“Not again!” Roared Caleb as he sprang out of the pond. “You little mother…”

“I hear it doesn’t change your smell much anyways.” Daze taunted him.

Caleb yelled and rushed in again but stopped short to swing his knife in a wide ark towards Daze’s head.

Daze caught the arm with his left hand and tripped him onto his back. As he was falling Daze slammed the hilt of his own knife down on Caleb’s wrist and jerked the knife from him.

“That’s one point for me,” Daze said as he dropped the knife into the dirt, “Get up.”

Caleb jumped up and tried to tackle Daze, but Daze ducked under his arms and caught him in a half-nelson. Daze slit Caleb’s earlobe with his knife, drawing blood.

“Two points for me.”

“You little!” Daze released him and backed up a step.

Caleb took it easy this time. He moved in slow and tried to stab with his slightly longer arms. But Daze was too fast for the bulky COG and he dodged every move Caleb could think of. Out of desperation Caleb took a step back, he took his knife by the handle and threw it with all his might at Daze.

Daze dodged the knife and made a rush of his own. As Caleb put his hands up to cover his face, Daze jumped off an old tree stump and pulled Caleb down by the shoulders. He slit the other earlobe and then got up.

“Three points. Looks like I win.”

“I’ll kill you!” Caleb roared with anger as he grabbed at his lancer where Daze had left it.

Click!

Daze drew his Revolver and thumbed back the hammer.

“I’d shut up and start walking if I were you soldier, now drop that weapon and get going.”

The others had made their way to the Helicopter by now and were watching with interest as Caleb started jogging back towards Jacinto.

“Give Victoria their weapons and let them go.” Daze spoke to Carl who was standing just behind her covering her with his reaper SMG.

“Yes sir.” Carl gathered their weapons and handed them to her.

“Sorry about the trouble,” she said as she started off, “he is a handful even with out getting his ass kicked by a kid.”

“Oh, by the way,” she turned back and pointed to the pilot, “you don’t need to worry about him.”

“Alright,” Daze turned back to the stranded, “lets fix this bird up!”





“So, how does it look?” Daze asked Carl as they examined the King Raven.

“The rotors are in perfect shape,” he remarked curiously, “So we shouldn’t have a problem getting her going again…I just can’t think what forced it down.”

“I’ve found it,” one of the stranded pointed to a hole in the windshield.

“Wait,” Daze was astonished, “someone sniped the pilot?”

“Looks like it,” Carl said as he entered the cockpit, “One of those two kids must have landed it. Damn fine job they did too!”

“So what is there to do?” Daze asked.

“Well there is a little damage to the under belly but not much. We will have to try and prop it up somehow since the landing gear didn’t deploy…and I think we might as well fix a couple of those hydraulic line.”

“How long?

“No more ’n an half an hour I reckon.”

“How many you need?”

“Just leave the parts as well as Jason and Vinny and I think we’ll be good.”

“Sweet. Everyone else, lets scatter and scout the forest around us.”

They moved through the swamp, scouting along as they went. Daze stopped to gaze at the giant mangrove trees, their spindly roots sticking out of the water.

“Check under the larger trees for anything that might be hiding there,” Daze told the stranded around him, “I want a hundred yard perimeter scouted then make your way back to base.”

Daze moved to one of the other zones that was being inspected. He walked back to the helicopter slowly, enjoying the respite from his responsibilities. He admired the different birds and other small ground creatures that made their home among the swamps. He heard a rustle in the reeds a few feet away and shrugged it off. Doubtless it was some small animal foraging for food. Daze started walking again, he could see the Raven, but as started he heard a dead branch snap.

Daze knew that his men wouldn’t be so careless in hostile territory. He moved towards the sound quietly, barely making a sound.

He parted the reeds to behold a locust in elaborate, black armor taking aim down the scope of its long-shot. The crack of the rifle sounded just as Daze attacked.

Daze ran toward the beast and kicked the rifle out of its hands and sent it spinning into the mud. The locust swung its large, gauntleted forearm and knocked Daze back through the reeds. It drew a long, serrated sword and leapt after him.

“Everyone back to the raven!” Daze yelled as the beast thrust the sword towards him.

Daze drew his revolver and fired a hasty shot at the locusts chest. The large bullet rammed into it, knocking it back. Daze fired two more shots, one catching the locust in the arm. The force of the bullets sent the general stumbling backward, as he did his foot came down on a log and he fell backwards into the mud.

That was what saved him.

Daze had fired one last shot at his head, but the sudden fall had caught him off guard and the bullet flew high. Daze jumped up and ran for the helicopter.

“What’s going on?” Carl shouted as Daze jumped into the Raven and manned the fifty-caliber mini-gun.

“We got ourselves one massive locust in the wood over there,” Daze said as he started raking the woods with gunfire.

By now all the stranded had made it back and were standing on high alert as the Daze let the gun cool down.

“I think it might have left?” One of the stranded said in the eerie stillness that came over the swamp once again.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” an older man said grimly, “these bastards don’t give up, they either win or die.”

“Oh my …” one of the stranded broke off as he noticed Vinny’s dead body, “What…what happened?”

“That thing took him out,” Carl said sympathetically, “I’m sorry about your loss.”

“He was my nephew,” the man started weeping uncontrollably, “we have to go kill that thing!”

“No!” Daze ordered sternly, “No one is going out there. I need both turrets manned and a sentry up on top of the Raven. How much longer till we‘re in the air.”

“Do you want the radio working?” Carl responded from where he was working, “I’m just finishing up now but if you want, we can take off right now.”

“How long?”

“Five minutes, no more.”

“Do it!” Daze looked to where Vinny’s uncle had been. He was gone. “Where is Abe?”

The others looked around in confusion.

“I’m coming you fat, ugly, b*tch whore!” Abe screamed madly as he dashed into the reeds.

“No!” Daze shouted as another stranded started to help him, “he’s already dead.”

Almost instantly they heard the dying scream of a man in pain.

“Dammit.” Carl muttered as he hooked up the last two wires of the radio, “you done up there Jason?”

“Yeah, just tightened the last hose.” Jason hopped down from the chopper and climbed inside, “that means we’re leaving!” He shouted to the stranded who still stood guard outside the Raven.

They all turned as if snapped out of a dream and loaded into the chopper.

“Fire this sucker up!” Daze shouted as the rotors began to swing.

Just then a Boomshot round rocketed out of the trees and flew straight through the open sides of the raven.

“Holy Sh*t!” a Jason shouted as the round skimmed past his face.

“Get us off the ground now!” Daze shouted as he opened fire with the turret.

The chopper lifted off the ground and began ascending into the blue sky.

“Yippy-Kie-Yay mother F*cker!” Daze shouted down into the swamp as they began making their way back too Jacinto.

Carl handed him a headset as he sat down in the co-pilot seat.

“I just heard a report of a massive COG assault on the Rx-7 Imumlsion mine.” Carl reported through the headset. “What do you want to do?”

Daze thought a second. “Tell Clara and Justin to scout it out. Designated channel 12.5. We’ll be out there as fast as possible.”

“Yes sir!” Carl relayed the info, “Sir? What’s going to be our call sign?”

“Hmm,” Daze pondered a moment, “Cypress Phoenix sound good?”

“Perfect.”

[BlueLazer]

Woah...

(10 char)

[Deity Hayao]

Fun fun indeed!

[SKORGE]

Damn, I'll be sure to let Silent know someone bumped his fan-fic.