GOW Children of War. Fan Fic.

[S1leNt RIP]

Soli Deo Gloria!

This is my first piece of fan fiction, or creative writing for that matter. Bare with me on the early chapters (until I edit them) because the writing gets substantially better by the end! Enjoy reading!

Special Thanks
To my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who has helped cultivate any writing abilities I may seem to possess.

The CZ and the amazing amounts of help that those guys have given me; Theron, Black Asgard, Grey, Jfab and the rest.

A very special Thanks to The Evil Hat who I hold personally responsible for the improvement of my writing skills by leaving in-depth reviews of my chapters that helped me to see what I did wrong, what I did right, and for always encouraging me. Thanks man!

I would like to thank all my fans who stuck with me and supported me consistently, Capt Dec, jnhasda, Kung Foo Oyster, veryirishdude, KillerKink, Gridlock AAO117, L3TS D0 TH155, theron and anyone else I forgot.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Children of War...........Page one
Chapter 2: New Friends................Page one
Chapter 3: Refined by Fire............Page one
Chapter 4: Unexpected Surprises...Page three
Chapter 5: Painful Memories.........Page three
Chapter 6: Close Call...................Page four
Chapter 7: Staggered Retreat........Page five
Chapter 8: For the Fallen..............Page eight
Chapter 9: Whisper and a Clamor...Page nine
Chapter 10: The Walls of Jericho....Page ten
Chapter 11: A Heavy Cost.............Page eleven
Chapter 12: Styx and Stones..........Page twelve
Chapter 13: Beauty From Pain........Page thirteen
Chapter 14: The Insatiable Fire.......Page fifteen
Chapter 15: A Longing Fulfilled.......Page sixteen
Chapter 16: Hope Deferred............Page seventeen
Chapter 17: Decent Into Madness...Page Twenty
Chapter 18: Warrior Soldiers.........Page Twenty-one
Chapter 19: The Edge of Tartarus...Page Twenty-two
Chapter 20: The Valley of Death.....Page Twenty-three
Epilogue: The Elysian Field............Page Twenty-three

Have fun reading!

Gears of War:
Children of War


Chapter 1: Children of War


It was a sunny day on the outskirts of Jacinto plateau. A pleasant day if any could be called pleasant.

Daze awoke to the familiar sound of gunfire away in the distance, a usual occurrence with the Locust becoming more and more bold, having breached the plateau they were causing death and destruction wherever they went.

And that’s were the stranded were left…between a rock and a hard place, scraping a living out in the dirt, dodging the Locust or grouping in sufficient numbers to put up a rag tag resistance, eating rats and birds and the occasional COG handout, freezing on winter nights and baking in the summer heat, most wearing nothing but rags. It was hard, but it had its bright spots. The fact that they were alive was cause enough for joy when so many were not. And living near the fortress had its perks; sometimes the COG would get generous and hand out blankets and clothes.

And Teresa had connections on the inside. Teresa was like a mother to the orphans. She had lost all three of her children and her husband on E-day, and instead of living the rest of her life in seclusion she decided to find a house and set up an orphanage to take in as many children and teens as she could.

Even though they weren’t originally stranded, they lived right near the edge of the plateau, and the Locust pushed the Gears lines back so far the first day they breached the plateau, that they had to either abandon the orphanage or stay and risk being found by the locust. They decided to stay, and after the initial onslaught the Locust rarely came too near.

Daze had been a relatively latecomer to the orphanage, but having lived right next to it, and being best friends with some of the teens there, had made it an easy choice once he lost his father.

Daze had been an only child and had lost his mother on E-day. His dad joined the COG and instantly began moving up the Coalition ranks, becoming a Major and getting numerous awards for leading his squad. He also quickly gained the respect of his superiors, but more importantly
to him, the respect of his son.

He was out on patrol the day the Horde first breached the plateau and was cut off from retreat.

He had almost got his squad back when they were ambushed by a group of Locust. He was bringing up the rear when the Locust opened fire. Taking a bullet in the leg, he turned as he fell and emptied his Lancer into them as they rushed, reloaded and began to fire again before they got to him. Even after he ran out of ammo he continued to hack at them with his chainsaw until his squad was able to drive them back, but had lost too much blood, by the time they got to him that there was nothing they could do. He asked his friend and second in command, Rojas, to gave Daze his COG tags, revolver and knife, which he did.

Daze had mourned the loss of his father greatly and, taking his dads extra pair of combat pants, ammo belt, knife, revolver and COG tags, set out to see if his friends were still alive.

Daze was now seventeen. It had been almost three years since Daze had come to stay at the orphanage for good. When he got there he had found the windows boarded up and the door locked. He had knocked on the door and was beginning to lose hope when Justin opened the door.

Justin, eighteen, was Daze’s best friend, he was not very tall, but what he lacked in height he made up for in strength. He was also funny, which was quite an accomplishment when there was so little to laugh about.

Daze had a few other close friends. Clara, sixteen, who was Justin’s girlfriend, as well as Susan and Jordan. Clara was short and pale skinned with short brown hair and brown eyes, she was fast and agile and loved to run. Jordan was tall, dark skinned and strong, strong enough to pick up Susan in one arm whenever he felt like it…which was a lot.

Susan was tall and oriental looking with long black hair and a more serious, mature attitude compared to Jordan, who liked to make jokes and tickle and be immature sometimes. They had loved each other from the first time they met four years ago, and had been planning to get married as soon as possible.

Daze looked around the room. Justin was sitting on his bed reading, while Jordan was just starting to stir.

“Good Morning” said Justin cheerily.

“ Is it?” Daze groaned.

“ Yea man” Jordan sat up. “yizer it’s a good morning, I been waiting a long time for this man!”

“Just cause you guys all plan to get married today doesn’t mean its just a walk in the park to get to the Fortress.”

“ We know what we’re doing” Justin said.

“I’m just worried we’re gonna run into some locust before we get there.” said Daze.

“You coming too?” Jordan asked.

“Someone’s gotta make sure you guys get back in one piece.” Daze said.

“Hello! We know what we’re doing remember”.

“I know, I’m just giving you grief”. Daze said.

“Yeah well, we better get to breakfast, we have to start early if we want to get there and back before dark” said Justin.

Daze got out of bed, put on his pants and buckled up his ammo belt. Then strapped on his fathers revolver, belted on his knife and went down stairs to join the rest of them.

Teresa had gotten up early to make them breakfast so they could get an early start to the fortress.

“I still don’t understand why you guys have to go out there and get officially married when none of us care if you guys call your selves married or not.” Teresa said as they sat down.

“You know I’m serious about my faith Teresa. I just want it to be right.” Jordan said “and besides, its not like we’ve never been there by our selves.”

“Faith! Pff Faith in what! The only thing I got faith in is that the Locust hate us! That’s it. Heck, the sun will rise fall on it.” Daze said irritably. “Ah sorry. I didn’t mean to get carried away”

“Whatever, but you guys better be careful.” Teresa said “ Remember, HIDE don’t fight.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Clara said “ The Locust haven’t made a large scale attack for at least two weeks, why should they start today.”

“ Hmph, Yeah, Why today?”

“Quit fussing already!” Clara said.

“Yeah yeah, whatever! Get going” Teresa said. “Love ya, See ya tonight!”

Daze took a couple more bites as the rest got up to leave. He couldn’t understand why they would want to do this. Just say you’re married and be done with it! But they where his friends, and he’d do anything for them. Even if it meant some crazy scheme to get to the fortress.

He walked outside into the cool morning air. Fresh and bright, though with a subtle hint of gun smoke, again, a usual occurrence.

Since they were going to the fortress they might as well pick up any ammo they came across on the way.

Once they had been attacked at the orphanage by a scouting group of locust. The grubs had seen one of the kids going in and tried to rush the front door, where they were met by a blast of gunfire. There had been about seven when they attacked, they lost three in that first wave and resolved to try and draw out anyone who might be inside. Meanwhile the guys had taken the few guns they had and waited at the windows, making sure not to give away they’re numbers. After a bit Daze decided to go out the back and draw them away before more came. He took a couple pot-shots with his revolver and then ran hoping they’d follow. They did. He had to do some free running moves he’d never tried before to lose them. Teresa had scolded him for doing it, but also thanked him for possibly saving them.

He was catching up to the others when he heard some more gunfire, this time it was closer than before.

He started to run. He got to the rest of them with out hearing any more shots. But he was still uneasy.

“How far you think that was?” he asked Justin

“Couple miles I’d say.”

“No more than five for sure” Jordan said.

“Lets just keep our eyes open” Susan put in.

“All right, keep moving” Daze said.

They came around a corner into an open street. Daze saw something move.

“Hide!” he said quickly.

Instantly they all faded in to the various hiding spots found in a partially destroyed city.

Daze snuck up a little farther to see if it was anything. He scanned the buildings across the road. Nothing moved. He was about to stand up when he saw what looked like three figures appear from the shadows. Daze ducked. He was just going to look again when something hit him on the head, then again. He looked up and saw Clara waving to him from the upper room of a building. She motioned for him to look at the newcomers. He did. There where in fact three people approaching. One was an odd looking boy who looked about his age and the other two looked to be twins about a year younger. They all carried weapons.

Daze stood up. Immediately the twins dove to each side while the other brought up his weapon and fired. Daze dropped quickly, the bullet just whizzing over his head.

“Cease fire!” he shouted

“Put your hands up” the boy yelled.

“Don’t shoot! I’m going to stand up slowly” Daze said.

When he stood up he couldn’t see the older one or the twins. His eyes swept the street, wait…there by the old dumpster he could see what looked like an old rifle pointing at him.

Behind the rifle was a pair of blue eyes with a lock of blond hair falling to one side. The boy reached up and tucked the hair behind his ear, just like a girl would, wait…it was a girl!

“You almost killed me!” Daze said incredulously.

“Yeah?!? Well maybe you shouldn’t surprise people with guns!”

“Hmph, where are those other two?” Daze asked.

“My brothers are probably already behind you.”

Daze turned around to see the twins come walking up.

“Nice to meet you” one said rather seriously.

“Yeah, I’m glad you didn’t kill this one sis, looks like quite a ca…” the other broke off.

“Shut up!”

“Ha, yeah okay, whatever” the second one stammered.

“My name’s Daze”

“Nice to meet you Daze. My name is Holly” the girl said.

Just edited it to make it easier to read...I'll do more later.

[S1leNt RIP]

Chapter 2: New Friends


“My name’s Jethro, but you can call me Jet” one of the twins said.

“Wow that’s an interesting name, and what about you?” Daze asked the other one.

“Jack”

“Well I’m glad your sister didn’t kill me cause its been an honor making your acquaintance.”

“Ha! Me too. The whole ince…” Jet didn’t finish.

“If you don’t shut up!” Holly said angrily.

“Calm down okay? If your done fighting, I’d like to introduce you to some friends of mine”

“You mean there’s more?” Jet asked.

“Four more to be exact.”

Meanwhile the others had come up, or hopped down depending on where they had hidden, and were now introducing themselves to the others.

“So what are you three doing out here so heavily armed?” Daze asked looking at they‘re weapons.

Each of them had one old rifle that all looked to be of the same model. Apart from that Holly carried a Lancer on her back while Jack and Jet had a Hammerburst and a Gnasher shotgun respectively.

“Our parents were part of a resistance movement out near the Lethia Imulsion facility. We had taken up shelter in the mountains and woods where the Locust didn’t usually go. Well me and my brothers went out early to go hunting for some berries and nuts and even a deer if we could find one. When we got back everyone was...” At this Holly choked up and looked away.

Jack continued “It wasn’t just our mom and dad, we had lots of friends we were fighting with. All of em were dead, we found the remains of some emergence holes that had come up behind our blockade, we all lived in a cave, but there were also lots of dead Grubs outside the entrance. They must’ve launched an attack from the outside hoping to distract us. It must have worked.”

“That was about two months ago.” Holly broke in.

“I’m sorry to hear that” Daze said “I lost both my parents to the Locust as well, we all know how it feels. But why did you come here, I mean this is where most of the humans are left. So naturally there are going to be more Locust here.”

“We stayed there about a month after it happened. Then we decided to leave. We just couldn’t stay in the place where we buried our friends and family” Jack said “it was just too painful.”

“So we took our guns, all the ammo we could find, some food and any extra clothes we had and just left.” Holly said. “and here we are. But what about you. What’s your story?”

“We’re all orphans, like you, who were taken in by a woman who lost all her children as well as her husband on emergence day.” Clara said “Her name is Teresa.”

“What we’re doing out here is another matter.” Daze interrupted “these people want to get married, which isn’t bad in and of itself, but traipsing around a war zone just to say your married
doesn’t make much sense…too me…but they’re my friends and I’ll do it for them.”

“Do you guys wanna stay at the orphanage with us,” Susan asked “we have room.”
Holly looked at Jack and Jet who both nodded.

“Well I guess its settled,” said Daze “We’ll bring you back quick so you can get settled, then get on our way. It’s not too far back.”

They turned back towards the orphanage.
When they were a couple hundred yards off they felt an earthquake and heard an explosion from somewhere up ahead.

“In here quick!” Daze shouted above the roar.

They all hurried into an old strip mall that backed right up to the orphanage. They ran through the hallways till they got to a broken down part that looked out over the house.

Daze froze.

What they saw nearly made him throw up.

A large group of locust had surrounded the house and were now in a firefight with the rest of the teens inside. There was firing from most of the windows and the roof. The locust were paying a heavy price for this as they tried to rush the front door.

The fighting slowed and it looked as though the locust might be giving up, they had retreated to the cover of the surrounding houses while they continued to fire.

“We have to do something,” Daze said.

“There is nothing we can do” said Holly

“I’m not just going to let them die!”

“You’ll just get yourself killed!” Holly replied “do you think that’s gonna help anybody!”

Daze looked back out at the scene before them. He could see the Locust reinforcements start poring in from all sides. The outer walls of the house were filled with holes, some had even fallen down. He looked at one of the corners of the roof. Blood spilled down through bullet holes to the ground below.

“No!” he whispered. He leaned back against a wall. “No.” How could this happen. Why would they attack now?

There was another earthquake. They could all see the house rumble and shake. An emergence hole was coming up right under the house. They could hear the screams. Firing had stopped coming from the house. Now it started again from inside the house. The locust on the outside were now advancing.

Suddenly All firing from the house quit.

They heard a scream. Daze jumped up. Mercy…one of the other girls…had gotten out the back door and was trying to get away, she was running straight for them. Just behind her was a wretch.

“I’m going out there” Daze said.

“You can‘t,“ Holly said “You’ll get us all killed!”

“I’ll distract them while you guys run” Daze started to walk forward.

At that moment Holly jumped up and tackled him into the side wall, grabbed his knife and put it to his throat. Jet jumped up as well and leveled his shotgun at the rest of them while Jack merely continued watching.

“Don’t move” Jet said.

“You might as well sit down,” Jack said “its already got her.”

Holly loosened her grip as Daze pushed past her to look through a hole in the wall.

Mercy screamed as the wretch jumped on her back and took a bite out of her shoulder. A Locust with an odd scar over its left eye walked over to her after a few seconds. Daze noticed the scar because it looked exactly like the scar he had seen on one of the locust that attacked the orphanage the last time. It lifted her up by the neck. One arm was missing and so was most of the other. Clara buried her head in Justin’s shoulder as Mercy’s intestines fell to the ground. The Grenadier put his pistol to her head and was about to fire when an idea seemed to come to him.

“No!” whispered Susan “the monster!”

More wretches had gathered about. The Locust looked into Mercy’s eyes, then with what looked like a hideous grin, threw her to the eager wretches.

“Let’s go” Daze said turning away as Mercy‘s screams reached him.

They all started walking back the way they came.

“Oh yeah. I’d like my knife back too.”

“I’m sorry about that, really I am, but there was nothing you could do.”

“Maybe”

“Well, what are we gonna do now?” asked Jordan

“We stumbled upon what looked to be a hidden COG supply room a couple miles from where we met you.” Jack said “That might be a good place to get some weapons.”

“Sounds good enough” Daze said “Lets go.”

“Here, take this” Holly said as she handed Daze her rifle. “It fires the same rounds as your revolver, and its very accurate at long range.”

Jack handed his Hammerburst to Jordan, while Jet gave Justin his Gnasher.

“You be careful with that okay?” Jet said “It’s not a good idea just to run in and go to blasting.”
Justin promised he’d be careful while Daze gave his revolver to Clara. Holly tossed a pistol to
Susan, who quickly tied up her long brown hair into a pony tail.

“We ready?” Daze asked.

Everyone nodded.

“Then lets move out.”

Chapter 3: Refined by Fire


They walked in silence along the alleyways and side streets of the city till they reached the spot where they had met Holly and the twins.

“You know which way to go from here?” Daze asked.

“I‘ll find it.” Jack said. “This way.”

They had been walking for about an hour when Clara suddenly ducked into an old church on the right side of the street. Justin turned quickly and followed her. The others took the hint and found hiding spots as quick as possible. Daze and Holly slid into a small hole made by either a closed up emergence hole or an explosion. Right now Daze didn’t care much.

He looked to see where the others had holed up. Clara was already in the church bell tower to his right, and Daze could see Justin guarding the back door with his shotgun. The others had all taken shelter in a large shop to Daze’s left.

Daze looked up at Clara, who motioned that there were six locust Grubs coming. She put up five fingers, then she drew an imaginary H on her shirt.

“What is it?” asked Holly.

“Six Grubs, Five with Hammerbursts.” Clara held up one finger and then drew an S. “Plus one with a sniper rifle.”

“We need to take that one out first” Holly said.
“Depends on if they saw us.” Daze looked back at Clara. He pointed down the street, then put two fingers to his eyes, then pointed at himself. Clara nodded. She motioned that 2 had gone right, and were moving towards the church, while the other three had gone left. The sniper was advancing up the street. Daze made the S, then dragged his finger across his throat. Clara nodded again. Daze looked left.

Jack had seen and understood it all. Already Jordan and Susan where covering a back door while He and Jet covered the windows.

“Get ready.” Daze whispered. “When the sniper is close enough I’m going to jump up out of here and take him out. You give me cover fire to the sides, Clara will take a couple shots at the Sniper.”

He relayed this information to Clara through various hand signals, mouthing the words as he did.

“How far?” she motioned.

“Twenty meters.”

“Good luck.” She mouthed.

Daze looked to the left again. Jack nodded to him and gave him the thumbs up. Daze looked back at Clara. She held up three fingers on her right hand and four on her left, then three, then two, then one…ah, she was counting down how many meters away it was…twenty-six, twenty-five, twenty-four…

There was a blast from the inside of the church. A boarded up window exploded into a million tiny shards as Justin’s shotgun blast tore through it on its way into the Locust just on the other side. The locust was thrown back two meters into the wall of the adjacent house as the buckshot ripped a gaping hole in the middle of its chest. Justin fired again into the wall next to it. He waited for movement. None came.

“Now!” Daze shouted as the crash of gunfire sounded from all sides.

Clara fired twice at the sniper before jumping out a broken window and landing on the roof of the church. She slid down the roof to the edge and then jumped, or rather slid off. She hit the ground and rolled, coming up a few feet from the other locust, who had taken cover below a window adjacent to the one Justin had destroyed. The locust looked up in surprise just as one bullet took him in the chest, then another in the head.

“Suck it B*tch‘s!” she said, stepping over the body of the other one as she reloaded.

Meanwhile, Daze had jumped out of the hole and had run up to the reloading sniper, who had fired at Clara. Daze brought up his rifle and fired a shot that hit the locust in the leg. Daze fired once again, this time hitting it in the shoulder. The high powered round ripped through the locust’s arm, tearing it off. The long-shot fell to the ground along with the rest of the arm. Daze ran up and hit the locust in the mouth with the but of his gun before slitting its throat with his knife.

He turned to see Holly firing her lancer down an alley next to the shop. He ran past her and doubled back around the other side of the shop. He turned the corner only to see a locust grunt running towards him. The locust fired a quick burst, too quick, the rounds just flying over Daze’s head. Daze dropped to the ground and fired once, tearing a hole through the locust’s heart.

The other two locust had turned to run when Jordan came out the back door and fired a burst that ripped open the back of the fleeing locust. The other was running up the alley that Holly had been firing down.

“Heads up!” Daze shouted as he ran after the locust. Daze heard what sounded like a small engine revving up. Puzzled, he kept running. Turning the corner, he stopped. Holly had used the chainsaw bayonet on her lancer to chop through one of the locusts legs and was now standing over the body, its head rolled to one side.

“That was for mom and dad.” she said quietly. She had gotten blood on her face and hands and was wiping it off with her shirt. “Ugh, I got some in my eye.”

“Is anyone hurt?” Daze asked, still in awe.

“I’m fine.” Holly said

“We’re good too.” Jack said, looking at Susan and Jordan.

“What about…”

“Good.” Clara said walking up with Justin.

“Alright. Then we better keep going.”

“One sec.” Susan walked over to the locust Jordan had shot. It was still breathing in short
gasps. Susan fired one shot into its head at point blank. “Check the others,” she said “Make sure they’re dead.”

“Good idea,” Daze said “and grab they’re guns and ammo while your at it.”

Clara and Justin checked the ones that had attacked the church while the others grabbed the guns and ammo of the most recently killed grubs. Daze checked the sniper. It had just bled out. The blood was already pooling around it. Daze picked up the rifle and ammo belt which he threw over his shoulder.

They all met back in the alley.

“Here,” Daze said handing the Sniper to Clara. “Your always getting so high anyways.”

Jet laughed.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Don‘t worry about it,” Clara said smiling. “I know what you mean.”

“Anyone notice any shotgun ammo?” Justin asked. “Mine only has twelve shots left.”

No one had.

“Well we better keep going.” Jet said.


They made they’re way through the streets for a half-hour or so, when they came to an old bombed out house.

“In here,” Jack said “we were hiding out in the basement from a group of locust when we noticed this.”

They had walked down a flight of stairs when they stepped into an open room about sixty feet wide by one hundred feet long. At the other end of the room they could see a partially hidden

Troika machinegun turret and a small door just to the right of it.

“Here it is” Jack said. “load up.

Daze entered the room to find it filled with ammo boxes, guns, grenades and even some extra combat armor. He took one of the heavy vests off the wall and tried it on over his hooded sweatshirt. It wasn’t too bad, and it had a place to keep an extra gun. Daze grabbed a Lancer from the wall and checked the chamber. Loaded. He filled his ammo belt with spare magazines and then put it on his back. The magnetic holding mechanisms snapped into place. Daze knew it wasn’t going anywhere.

He grabbed some more ammo for his revolver and shoved it in his cargo pockets. He looked around the room. Jack was holding a lancer and looking out the machinegun hole, watching incase any unwelcome guests were to drop by.

Both Jordan and Justin where trying on the armor vests. Clara had taken two bandoleers of sniper ammo and crossed them tightly to her chest. She also took a small automatic machine pistol from a gun case in the corner of the room. Susan kept the Hammerburst she had taken from a fallen locust. In addition to her ammo belt, she put on a small vest, into which she loaded all the ammo she could fit in. Lancer, Hammerburst, Shotgun. Daze nodded with approval. She smiled back at him.

“Just in case.” She said.

“It’s a good idea.” he said. “I’m glad you thought of it.”

Jet jumped down the stairs two at a time and came running up to the door.

“We got company.” he said. “eight of ‘em, coming down the road this way.”

“How close?” He asked.

“Too close for us to get out of here.”

Daze didn’t like the sound of that. He looked around the basement. The walls were bare, with no place to hide. So was the floor.

“Get out of sight.” He said. “I’ll man the turret.”

He hid behind the dark screen that covered the turret while the others got out of sight of the door.

“Did they see you?” asked Jack.

“No.” Jet said confidently.

“Then they’ll walk on past right?” Holly said hopefully.

“We’re not gonna bet on it.” Daze whispered. “Shut off the lights.”

Except for the small amount of light from the stairs, everything was now pitch darkness.

They could hear the footsteps outside now. They stopped right outside the entrance. There was a brief conversation. Then someone started to descend the stairs. Then more. Daze waited. He wanted them all down there before he started shooting. I was dark in the basement. He couldn’t see the faces of the locust, but something tugged at his mind. Something was wrong.

“In here.” a voice spoke out of the darkness.

That was it! The small lights of they’re power armor were blue.

“Stop.” Daze said in as commanding a voice he could muster. “Who goes there.”

“Cut the S*** already” someone growled.

“Shut up Damon.” Said the voice in front, over his shoulder. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” the voice asked.

“My name is Daze” he said cautiously. He recognized that voice from somewhere. “My friends and I are trying to get to the fortress.”

“Hit the lights.” the leader said.

“Why?”

“Don’t you remember me Daze?”

“Should I?”

“Daze, It’s me, Rojas.”

Edit: Same thing here.

[capt dec]

Cool nice to see a Gears FF with teenagers

overall its nice to see like a diffrent spin on it and stuff but be wary of pri*ks taht cant read on these forums and dont let them get you down, also you'll probably get tons of views but few post so just ignore that.

Ok onto business, i have a couple of gripes aboutt it though.
1) the onstant appearence of the word "said" its sort of annoying and makes it repetitive, try and use words taht mean the same thing but more dramatic like

We got company.” he Whispered. “eight of ‘em, coming down the road this way.”

or like add extra descriptive bits to it to make it more dramtaic
i.e:

“Get out of sight.” He ordered, clicking his lancer to his back and then mounting the turret checking to make sure its ammo feed was good.

also 2) use your enter button! it helps if there is like a whole line between paragraphs and dialouge so instead of

They made they’re way through the streets for a half-hour or so, when they came to an old bombed out house.
“In here,” Jack said “we were hiding out in the basement from a group of locust when we noticed this.”
They had walked down a flight of stairs when they stepped into an open room about sixty feet wide by one hundred feet long. At the other end of the room they could see a partially hidden Troika machinegun turret and a small door just to the right of it.
“Here it is” Jack said. “load up.
Daze entered the room to find it filled with ammo boxes, guns, grenades and even some extra combat armor. Daze took one of the heavy vests off the wall and tried it on over his hooded sweatshirt. It wasn’t too bad, and it had a place to keep an extra gun. Daze grabbed a Lancer from the wall and checked the chamber. Loaded. He filled his ammo belt with spare magazines and then put it on his back. The magnetic holding mechanisms snapped into place. Daze knew it wasn’t going anywhere.

it becomes

They made they’re way through the streets for a half-hour or so, when they came to an old bombed out house.

“In here,” Jack said “we were hiding out in the basement from a group of locust when we noticed this.”

They had walked down a flight of stairs when they stepped into an open room about sixty feet wide by one hundred feet long. At the other end of the room they could see a partially hidden Troika machinegun turret and a small door just to the right of it.

“Here it is” Jack said. “load up.

Daze entered the room to find it filled with ammo boxes, guns, grenades and even some extra combat armor. Daze took one of the heavy vests off the wall and tried it on over his hooded sweatshirt. It wasn’t too bad, and it had a place to keep an extra gun. Daze grabbed a Lancer from the wall and checked the chamber. Loaded. He filled his ammo belt with spare magazines and then put it on his back. The magnetic holding mechanisms snapped into place. Daze knew it wasn’t going anywhere.

See how it becomes easier to read? like just starting a new line looks great on actual paper page, but on a computer screen it becomes messy ish.

Other than that its quite good please do keep writing it will give me reason to actual use these forums again

[S1leNt RIP]

Thanks man. I started to realize the whole "said" thing and started to use asked and whispered and shouted, but there's only so many ways too say somthing. I'll keep an eye out for it though. With the extra descriptive things, I'll keep an eye out for ways to say it kinda like that, but personaly IMO I think it can ruin some things writing wise if you use it too much. Thank you alot for the feedback. Its just what I wanted.

[Theron Berserker]

good read silent - if you need more tips on fan fic writig look up black asgard on the creative forums- he will give you great tips

[TheRealBigBoss]

Daze.... cool name! Good story overall, it has a nice flow to it and a cool feel which is pretty hard to achieve at the best of times so well done on that. It's very character heavy which can be harder to write because you have to track what all the characters are doing and keep the reader up to date on what everyones doing, but you handled it pretty well. I'd like see some more personality quirks in some of the characters, little hooks that can help readers picture them more readily. Also some insights into how the characters feel about certain things can help bring them alive. Also some added detail about the surroundings and some descriptive color would be great too. Like instead of....

It was a sunny day on the outskirts of Jacinto plateau.

You could have....

The sun blazed it's warming golden light on the shattered remains of a city under siege, Jacinto Plateau.... the last remaining stronghold of man.

You know, some descriptive stuff that evokes a mood. I agree with capt dec, some good advice there too.

I think you did really well, and you should definitely write more. And yeah I wish Black and the others were here too. They could definitely give you some good advice.

Looking forward to Chapter Four.

[S1leNt RIP]

I'm a little way into Chapter 4. I'll defenitly take it into acount. I'll try out the descriptive stuff, the only problem being that it doesn't really come naturel. Thanks for the feedback.

[capt dec]

I have too agree with the boss on both acounts, 1) Daze being a cool name and 2) describe!, its cool it adds lavour and what i like most in writing (though this is my opinon donn't forget) images!!! i love it i have HOAI syndrome (hyperly-over-active-imagination) and so i can visualise stuff just by reading words really so yeah its cool.

keep it up man i really do love it

[S1leNt RIP]

I'm in kind of a writers block with this one. I got a little way through chapter four but it doesn't feel 100% right. BUT I had a new idea and that has been flowing freely. I'll get the first chapter fo that one up soon.(hopefuly) And I can't thank you enough for that Black asgard thing.

RIP

[Kthnxbye]

Great read. Only thing I have to say is when you post it on here, spread out what everyone is saying so its a tad bit easier to read, but other than that it was great.

[Theron Berserker]

also you can put the text into a qoutation box which makes it easier to read

[S1leNt RIP]

Great read. Only thing I have to say is when you post it on here, spread out what everyone is saying so its a tad bit easier to read, but other than that it was great.

That was one of the first things I got in the way of feedback. Chapter four is defenitly looking better than the other chapters.

Edit: 2 pages!!!

That was a sneaky post Theron, I thought I didn't have to quote!

[Theron Berserker]

hey im sorry, but seriously the story is so engaging, wish my fic turned out like that lol

[WaldoRtk7]

Well Capt and everyone else covered pretty much what I was going to say. But I will add this, as a writer you are trying to paint a picture with words for the reader, so the more detail and creativeness you can add, the color and vibrant environments will stand out so much more than simple easy tidbits.

[Theron Berserker]

well put waldo

[Mirage Metal]

ughhhhhhhh

[S1leNt RIP]

I'm sorry about the delay. I've been doing alot recently(kinda).

But if I could get some help from some of the other fan fic guys I would be honored.

I have some Ideas for how its all gonna end a for a few parts in between. I'm just not sure what to do between these things. It will have spoilers though. So be warned. Just PM me.

[capt dec]

ask away mate

[Carnage Soldier]

Awesome bro keep it up baby

[S1leNt RIP]

New Chapter up! Not that great but I'm working on being more descriptive and making it look better.
Chapter five should have a LOT more action.

Enjoy.

[S1leNt RIP]

Chapter 4: Unexpected Surprises



Rojas walked into the little room. "It's good to see you Daze. How you been?" His long black hair was pulled up in two long braids that hung down over his shoulders.

"Not good," Daze replied, "the orphanage got hit today. Everyone's dead that we know of."

"I'm very sorry to hear that."

Rojas's ancestors had been the Old people. The ones who had lived for hundreds, if not thousands, of years before modern civilization had come to this particular part of Sera. He took great pride in his history.
He looked around the room. "Who are these guys?" He asked, pointing to Holly and the twins.

"We met them today on the way to the fortress." Daze added. "We were going to bring them back to the house when it was attacked."

"What are you going to do now?" Rojas asked.

"We came here to get some ammo incase we were attacked again." Daze answered cautiously.

"We were just getting ready to leave when one of us saw you coming down the road."

"Are you ready to go?"

Daze looked around. Everyone had been standing still until Clara grabbed a couple more clips and a silencer for her Reaper Type-9 LMP(Light Machine Pistol). Jordan tightened the straps on his armor. Susan racked the slide of her pistol. Everyone else nodded.

"We're ready." Daze gave the thumbs up.

"Then you'd better let my men in so they can reload."

"No problem." Daze led the others out the door.


They waited in the outside room as the men loaded up. They could hear an angry voice arguing with Rojas.


"They're stranded," the voice nearly shouted, "one quick burst and we'll be done with em."

"That would bring every locust within earshot right here," Rojas answered coolly, "besides, his father was a close friend of mine until he died."

"Well their stranded now so who gives a S***," the voice said a little quieter this time, "why on F***ing earth are we going to let some mongrel kids take our ammo."

"There's enough here." came a deep voice from in the room.

"Well la dee F***ing da!" his voice rose. "When I want an opinion I'll ask."

"Careful Damon," the other one said again, "I reckon I don't like you very much on a good day."

"Am I supposed to give a d***?" Baird asked, "I say we shoot em."
There was a small scuffle and then a dull slam as something hit the wall so hard dust fell from the ceiling. Daze saw Clara smile.

"You say one more thing before we get outside, Baird," came the deep voice again, "and I'll throw you through this wall."

"Enough." Rojas ordered sternly.

They talked in lower tones while they finished up.


After a little while they all filed out. First came Rojas.
"Sorry about that." Rojas apologized.

Next came a blond haired man rubbing his neck. He looked at the ground as he walked to one side of the room. And after him came the biggest man Daze had ever seen. The man stood at least a head higher than any of the others and had to turn sideways just to fit through the door.. Daze wondered if he could rip a locust in half with his bare hands, h*ll, his arms were bigger than Daze's waist. The mans armor was almost the same as the others except that it was red instead of blue. Daze wondered if it was blood. As he came through the door the big man tipped an imaginary hat as he made a slight bow to Clara, who hadn't been able to stop staring at him since he entered the room.

"Little lady." he said in the same deep voice they had heard from the room.

"Hello." she said shyly.

They were all out now. Besides the ones Daze had noticed, there was a big black man and four cogs in standard issue armor and helmet.

"I'd like you to meet Alpha squad. This is Damon Baird," Rojas pointed to the blond man who just grunted, "and next to him is Augustus Cole.

"Sup baby!"

"That's my second in command, Cather." he pointed to the big man.

"How do you do." It was more of a statement than a question.

"To the left are Carlos Verdas, Greg Lantle, and Eric Lewis of Victor squad. Over to the right is Capt Nick Hastings."

Rojas explained that there was a plan to end the war with the locust, and that Victor squad had been temporarily merged with Alpha squad for extra support.

"What are you planning to do?" Rojas asked Daze.

"I'm not sure," Daze looked at the others, "I think we'll try to make it to the fortress."

"Might as well go F*** yourselves." Baird said sullenly from the corner.

"Enough!" Rojas shot him a hard look. "He's got a point though. Even if you do make it, there's little chance of welcome."

"If that happens than we'll head for a stranded camp or make our own."

"Hmm..." Rojas paced the room, "You can follow us for a while, be our scout group. Your gonna be going the same way as us so we might as well stick together while we can."

"It's a plan," Daze looked around, "Jack, Holly and Jet with me. We got front."

"If we run into anything I want Clara to get up high and snipe." Rojas said. "Alpha has gone too long without a sniper."

"No problem," Clara smiled, "I'm looking forward popping these sons of b*tches."

"Don't. It gets old fast. And make sure you don't choke." Rojas said solemnly, "Here, take this radio earpiece and give the other to Daze. I want to be able to contact both of you incase we get separated. Channel 2. If you need me I'm on channel 5."

"Got it." Clara put in the earpiece then tossed the other to Daze.

"Lets go."

Daze stepped out into the bright afternoon sun. The heat was really picking up and the humidity hung over him in a dull cloud, sweat had already started to bead up on his forehead. This was gonna be a long day.
Jet ran up ahead to scout the area.

"Clear." he said as he moved on up the road.

Daze relayed it to the people behind him as he, Jack and Holly moved to join Jet.

"Daze?" Rojas' voice crackled through the earpiece. "I need you to turn left at the next street."

"Understood," Daze motioned for the others to follow, "How far?"

"Till I say. I'll make sure you don't get to far ahead."

"Roger." Daze muted his mic. "You guys move through the alleys and houses. I got the roofs."

"What?" Holly looked incredulous, "how do you plan to get up there?"

Daze put the Rifle on his back and set the holding strength to full, and handed his lancer to Jet.
"Like this." He said as he ran towards a small alley, planted a foot and jumped off the wall of the house to his left, landed on the wall, then pushed off with his right foot and made a jump for a window sill on the first house. He pulled himself up and then jumped for the square roof of the house opposite.

"Don't look so surprised," Daze laughed at the expressions on their faces, "We've been doing this for years. Now lets get going, we have to scout for Rojas."



Next Chapter (Scroll down) Chapter 5: Painful Memories

It's gonna be kind of a letdown I'm sure. Next will be better.

[capt dec]

Reaper Type-9 LMP(Light Machine

YAY!!!!!!

nice to see my stuff

dude thats like not a letdown at all, it's freaking sweet just have fun with it and don't have negative thoguhts like that (i'm pretty emo some im screwed but you dont have to be)

Yeah keep it up man i look forward to seeing more

[S1leNt RIP]

Yeah man! That baby is gonna shred some serious locust Betches!!!

And I'm not really having negative thoughts, I just thought this chapter kinda sucks compared to the others(maybe not chapter one.)

How was the writing by the way? Spacing good?

P.S I know Baird is kindof a fan fav. Did he come out all right?

[capt dec]

the writing was cool very cool descritpive and stuff my only problem is the " thing but that cant be helped

oh and you did baird perfectly

[S1leNt RIP]

oh and you did baird perfectly

Shveet!

And I'll try to fix the (") thing.

[S1leNt RIP]

Chapter five is coming along quite nice I'd say. I;m trying to make it longer so it will prolly be out next tuesday or so.

[Carnage Soldier]

Noo you doomed Baird!! why?

[S1leNt RIP]

Doomed? How so? I can't kill him off because this is set DURING Gears of War.

[S1leNt RIP]

Chapter 5: Painful Memories


Holly watched Daze run along the rooftops with startling agility. She wondered what other secrets these city-stranded possessed. How could he run and jump without so much as a look to where he would land? Or so it seemed to her.

"And I thought I was in shape." she said to herself.

When she and her brothers had grown old enough to use a gun their parents made them run a few miles everyday. The parents had made all the kids do push ups and sit ups, jumping jacks and "six-inches". Holly had hated it then, hated her parents and the other adults for making them do it. She now saw her own folly. They had done it out of love. So that their kids would be able to endure a long run to escape or to be able to outmaneuver the locust in a fight.

But this! This was amazing! Running and jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Landing on the ground and rolling so you wouldn't hurt your knees. Getting up and running almost straight up a wall, at least that's what it looked like.

"Sis!" Holly broke out of her daydreams. Jet was looking out from an alleyway far ahead. "You're supposed to be coming up the road."


"Be right there!" she shouted.

Up ahead the city was changing. They had been traveling through the suburbs, with its small houses and shops, tight compact road with barely a side walk. Now she could see more five, six, seven story buildings, some warehouses and strip malls. Farther up she saw skyscrapers, large pillared monuments, and even a few trees.

Just like the woods.

Just like home.

She wondered if sheíd ever forget him. He had been her first crush. Even when she had been a little girl she had liked him. Heíd always throw dirt in her hair or find a worm or something, but she had loved him nonetheless. She thought it strange that there was any love or happiness. They had been lucky. Apparently the locust didnít care about some random group of people hiding in the woods. At least not much.

She thought about the night a year ago when they had snuck off into the woods to make love. They hadnít ended up doing it because they were afraid of the rule that no one was allowed to get pregnant, and that anyone who did was shown no mercy. If they had to break camp and run they would not stop to help the pregnant mother or her young child if she had ended up having the baby.

It hurt her to remember Mia.

Mia was one of Holly's best friends who had been raped by one of the leaders of their group. Everyone new who it was but only a couple of the families wanted to do anything about it. Holly's parents said he should be thrown out of the group, but to many were already on his side for them to make much of a difference. Then when the locust attacked once and they had to move, she could not keep up. Holly's father gave her a knife to keep with her after that.

Holly could still hear her screaming when she had nightmares.

Surprisingly Carson had been the one to say no to sex, even though they both knew it was wrong and could end in her death. He told her that he wouldnít be able to live with himself if any thing happened to her. The had kissed that night. A lot. They sat out under the stars and talked. That night they promised to get married when they were older.

Only there was no older.

When Holly and her brothers had gotten back after the attack no one was left but him. His legs had been blown off and wretches had eaten his entrails, he was losing blood. He said he had waited for her to get back, waited to die so that he could see her one last time. He told her that he wanted to die in her arms, looking up into her eyes.

"No!" she had screamed through the tears. "I won't live without you!"

"You must," he coughed hoarsely, "do it for me, find someone to marry and be happy with."

"I can't!" she cried. "Let me die with you."

Holly picked up a knife and pressed it to her breast. "Please!" she pleaded.

He merely pushed the knife aside and put a finger to her lips.

"My love for you is unending," he said as he coughed blood, "I won't let you ruin your life."

She sat with him for a few more minutes before he asked, "One more kiss."

Holly leaned down and kissed him, and not wanting to let go, she held her lips to his. When it came, she felt the last breath go out of him.

She let his head rest on her lap and cried.


Holly had pushed the memory away for so long that she couldn't help the tear that fell down her cheek now. She wiped it off with a blond curl of hair and walked on. "Could this Daze be the one? Could he ever know the pain I feel?" She let the question linger.

* * * *

"Nice job Daze!" Rojas said as he watched him get on top of the roof. "Any one else know how to do that?"

"We all do," Justin said, "Clara is the best though."

"Than get up there," Rojas smiled. He hadn't dared to hope his only sniper would be able to cover them from the roofs.

Clara tightened the strap of her Longshot. She ran to a shop on the opposite side of the street from Daze and jumped up on a dumpster, climbed up to a window sill, then reached over to a light post and climbed up it.

Clara scanned the opposite street to the one they were traveling. Nothing.

"Daze, check the street to your right." She spoke into the mic as she ran. She could see him quite a ways ahead running along the rooftops.

"Nothing there." He replied as he jumped across an alley way.

Daze stopped to look around. He could see Jack come out of an alley about a thirty yards back. There wasnít a single locust anywhere.

"Rojas?" he spoke into the mic.

"Here. Do you see any?"

"No, and that's what I donít get." Daze saw Clara running along the shops opposite his.
This had been a kind of market back when people lived here. They would close off the road and set up stalls to sell different things. It made it easy to jump from roof to roof.

"Be careful then, tell the others to come back here. You and Clara are enough, and I don't want them getting caught in a trap."

"Understood." Daze whistled and snapped his fingers to get Jack to look up. When he did, Daze pointed at him, then held up three fingers and pointed back towards where Rojas and the others were jogging up the street.

"Holly, Jet," Jack nodded to Daze, "we'll wait here for the others."

Daze started to run again, this time parallel to Clara.

"Afternoon, beautiful." Daze smiled as he looked over at Clara.

"What did you call me?' she was pretending to be indignant, "I'll tell Justin you were flirting with me!"

"Riiiiiiiiiight," he laughed, "cept you like it too much."

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes, "You're pretty hard to deal with you know that?"

"You donít have to tell me," he looked over at her, "I know I'm pretty."

"Don't make me come over there!"

"I think you just might have to!" Daze smiled, "Betcha can't beat me to the end of the road."

"Bet I can!"

Daze ran as fast as he could. Weaving between chimneys and plants, ducking under clotheslines and jumping from house to house.

When he got to the house at the end of the street he couldnít tell who had won. She looked just as tired and worn out as he felt.

"Tie?" she gasped between huge breaths of air.

"Sounds good." Daze took off his shirt and armor and leaned against a chimney after looking around to see that there werenít any locust.

"Nothing to report," he said as he switched over to channel five and let the breeze cool him.

"Good," Rojasís voice crackled through the earpiece, "wait for us there."

"No problem, Daze out."

"Lucky bastard," she said looking over.

"Hey, I don't mind if you do it," Daze laughed.

"Like H*** you don't!" she snipped at him, ìI would if I didn't have to take this ammo off.

"I'm sure." Daze snickered.

"Of course I would!" She looked away. "Your like my brother!"

She loved Justin, and didn't want to think of what could have...No, it couldnët have been. Justin was her man. She realized she loved him completely. Even though she loved Daze too, it was a more brother sister love than anything else, she told herself.

Daze put his shirt and armor vest back on, then hopped down as Rojas and the others came up.

"Which way?" he asked.

"Straight ahead," Rojas looked down the road, "when you come to the T take a right."

Clara was already climbing the apartments opposite when Daze started up onto the roofs again.

They had run for a ways when Clara saw Daze come to a large warehouse. He found an old broken window and climbed in.

She kept running when she heard Daze over the mic.

"Get down!" he whispered, "We got a locust patrol in here. Looks like they're waiting for us."

"Did they see you?" she whispered, "Are you alright?"

"Shhhh!" she could barely hear him, "Tell Rojas."

His mic went dead.

"Rojas, Rojas, are you there?" she hissed into her mic. "We got locust in the warehouse to the right, do you copy?"

Clara jumped onto the fire escape and entered what looked like an abandoned seven story office building.

"Rojas here." she heard him say as she was setting up her sniper rifle in one of the windows. "Where are you?"

"I'm on the fifth story of the building across the street." she pulled ten cartridges from the ammo bandoliers on her back and placed them on a old desk sheíd pulled up next to her. "I'm set up to cover the entrance to the warehouse."

"Perfect," Rojas motioned his men to move forward, "We'll be right there."

"I want you all to stay here and watch our back,"Rojas turned to the other teens, "don't let any reinforcements behind us."

"Yes sir," Jack looked back, "Let's spread out. Take up positions on either side of the street."

"Good," Rojas turned back to his men and started to move off. "We'll go help Daze and Clara."



Next Chapter Chapter 6: Close Call

I love how Holly's backstory came out...I knew there was some boyfriend or someone and it kinda surprised me how well it turned out.(To me anyways)

[S1leNt RIP]

Throw me a frickin bone! lol. Anyone?

[capt dec]

YAY!!!!!!!!!!

sorry i took so long this is the first time ive been on the gears forums since last week.

wow" is all i can say, the stuff with holly was very good, though you might wanna be careful with all th e sexytimes and stuff, just in case causse of the rules and stuff but you should be ok

[S1leNt RIP]

Okay! lol I should prolly read the rules. But I have and am not planing to include any graphic sexytimes.
I do have an idea about how I want the second "Book" to start. Basicly Daze walks in on Justin and Clara and walks around getting their stuff ready while they "Does it" one last time, because the Locust are coming back.
It's not gonna be graphic at all but I'm wondering if that would break any rules?

Page 4 BTW!!!

[Carnage Soldier]

hahah id prolly leave it out dude..we get ur gist

[IrokunakI]

hey dude, just finished reading. very nice! cant beileve i sat here and read it all.. i normally dont read much, well done. ( not much on improving stories so i'll leave it at that. ) goodjob.

[S1leNt RIP]

Thanks man! I'm glad it held your attention!
But I really like tips and comments on what you think works well and what does not.

[S1leNt RIP]

Well in case anyone cares I just wanted to let everyone concerned know that I'm still here but have been very busy! I've started Chapter 6 and its doing okay as of now. Like I said, just incase anyone was worried.

[S1leNt RIP]

Chapter 6: Close Call



Daze's mind raced franticly as he looked for a way out of the warehouse.

No more than fifty feet from Daze were at least twenty locust standing around an emergence hole pulling up weapons and ammunition, while on the catwalks above another two were on sentry duty.

Daze looked for something he could use as a distraction. Above the hole was some sort of crane or pulley system. If he could get that to kill or at least slow the locust around the hole he might have a chance to escape.

He looked around for something, anything that looked like a control device of some kind. The windows of the warehouse were painted over and let very little light through, while this worked well to conceal him, it also helped hide any sort of controller that might be found.

He scanned the lifting machinery to see if there were any weak spots he might be able to shoot. He found a spot that seemed to hold the entire thing up by a small railing system that would allow it to be moved from place to place easily. Daze wondered if the armor piercing lancer bullets would be able to tear it down.

Then he remembered.

Jet had his lancer.

Daze wanted to curse himself for not having it, but that wouldn't help anything and it was necessary that he leave it behind. Then he remembered something else.

Just before they left the ammo room Susan had handed him two grenades. One was a smoke and the other a frag.

If he could get a good throw he might be able to get the frag stuck up next to the railing, and that would only work if the frag had enough explosive force to destroy it.

All he knew for sure was that there would be a lot of luck involved if he got out of here alive.

Daze wiped the sweat from his face as he got ready to throw the grenades. Should he throw the smoke first so that it had time to get going but give away his position? Or should he throw the frag and then the smoke yet still be a clear target?

Daze pulled the pin of the smoke and set it at his feet. As the smoke started to grow he pulled the pin and threw the frag toward the lift. If Daze had stopped to watch he would have noticed how truly lucky he was. As the grenade flew over the rail the ìtailî caught at the last second and the rest of it wrapped around the railing.

As soon as he threw Daze began to run towards the front of the warehouse. The two sentries were the first to notice the smoke and ran after Daze as he fled.

The explosion ripped through the rail severing hydraulic lines and causing the lift to fall, crushing the unlucky locust beneath it but more importantly it blocked the Emergence hole and caused confusion as the locust not only tried to find the source of the explosion but also as they tried to lift the broken machinery off their fallen comrades.

The water and smoke slowed the locust even more than the machinery as they slipped and fell and ran into each other in the already dark confines of the warehouse.

Daze was off to a good start.

* * * *

What was taking him so long.

Clara began to sweat.

What if the locust had captured him. What if they were torturing him right now. Should they just leave and try to make it out alive?

She couldn't bear the thought.

Well they'd know soon enough, Rojas and the rest of the Cogs were coming up the street now.

Suddenly there was an explosion from inside the warehouse. Clara's heart raced as she steadied her rifle and tried to calm her breathing. She heard gun shots and watched as bullets riddled the front windows.

She sighted down the scope.

As one of the windows shattered and started to fall Daze burst out and began running toward the building with two locust right behind him.

Clara swung the rifle to fire a shot at the first locust. There was a loud crack as the recoil from the rifle slammed into her shoulder. She had aimed for the locusts body but her shot went high and slammed into the base of the neck, spraying blood and bits of spine onto the road.

She fumbled with the next cartridge as she tried to reload the single shot weapon. It was taking to long! She nearly threw aside the rifle as she drew her Reaper. She aimed down the sights to make sure she didnët hit Daze. The locust was firing as it ran after him.

"Oh no". Clara watched in horror as a bullet hit Daze. Clara saw Dazeís body jerk forward and blood spray from some wound, the severity of which she could not tell from where she was. Daze lay motionless, face down on the ground.

"No!" she screamed as she fired the Reaper at the locust. A couple shots seemed to hit but the locust didn't even slow. It reached the body and started to raise its boot over Dazeís head.

Clara grabbed at the Longshot in desperation and jammed a round into the chamber, worked the bolt, took a short breath and fired.

"Son of a B****!" she screamed as the shot flew wide right.

The sound of the sniper rifle got the locusts attention. Clara dove for cover as the concrete around her exploded into tiny shards as the locust peppered the window she had been hiding in.

She reloaded and ran to another window to take aim at the locust. She was just about to fire when she saw Daze suddenly jam his knife into the locusts thigh. He pulled himself up and swung around behind the locust, slicing the tendons in its leg at the knees. The locust fell to its knees as Daze drew his fathers revolver.

"Yippee kie yay Mother F..." Daze smiled as the blast of the heavy pistol drowned out the remainder of the sentence.

Daze stood a moment, watching the locusts shattered skull crumble and fall.

"Daze!" Rojas broke Daze out of his stupor. "The warehouse!"

Daze turned to see locust start poring out, he fired his pistol into the first locust, tearing its leg off at the hip. He turned and fired two more shots at a grub coming around the corner of the warehouse, then emptied the rest through the broken window.

He holstered his pistol and drew his knife as a grub jumped out of the window with a revving lancer. He heard a loud crack when the grubs head exploded and the body fell to the ground.

"Daze," Clara shouted, "In here!"

Daze spun around and ran towards the open "lobby" of the old building. Two grubs and a grenadier jumped out to follow but were immediately cut down by fire from the cogs.

"Hastings!" Rojas shouted above the gunfire, "Take your squad around back and push them into our fire to finish them off."

"Victor, on me!" Capt Hastings and his men moved off to flank the locust.

"Alpha, take up positions along the street," Rojas ordered, "I don't want any of the bastards getting past us!"

Daze ran up the stairs as fast as he could. He ran up next to Clara as he reloaded his revolver.

"How's your arm?" she asked as she sniped a locust that had made its way onto the rooftops.

"Fine, no thanks to your shooting." he said sarcastically.

"Well it was hard to tell from up here," she looked over at him sympathetically as she thumbed another cartridge in the rifle, "I'm getting used to reloading."

"Hasn't helped your shooting much," Daze remarked as he pulled his carbine down from his back, "You know I'm kidding right? We're going to need your sniping a lot from now on."

"Can you help me out here," she asked as she put a bullet into another rooftop locust, "they keep trying to get on the roofs."

"Sure, just a sec though."

Daze cut a strip of cloth and tied up his arm. The locusts bullet had glanced off the back of his armor and grazed his left bicep, not very deep but the blood had been flowing pretty freely.

He racked the slide of his carbine and started shooting any grubs he could find. He loved the feel of the rifle and how much power it had. And the accuracy was amazing. Daze made a mental note to ask Holly what type of gun it was.

Suddenly there was an earthquake, somewhere back along the way they had come, an emergence hole was appearing.





"Steady," Jack whispered as the locust started emerging, "Wait for my signal."

Susan and Jordan were right next to Jack while Justin, Jet and Holly were on the other side of the street.

"We need to close up that hole." Susan said quietly as the locust kept coming. "Jordan, can you get a grenade into it from here?"

"I can get pretty close."

"Well we'll have to try anyway." There were at least eight locust out and more coming, "Take this grenade."

"Anyone got a zip-tie?" Jordan asked as he took the grenade from Susan.

"Funny you should ask," Susan dug in her pocket and pulled one out, "I grabbed a hand full in the armory."

Jordan took it and tied the loose end, or "tail", of the grenade to the handle and got ready to throw it Thrashball style.

"Whatever happens, we have to push through and get to Rojas and the others." Susan whispered to Jack and Jordan.

"Get ready." Jack mouthed to Jet across the street.

Ten of the locust were up and were now starting to move up the street behind the cogs.

"Now."

Jordan threw the grenade high into air, arcing it perfectly so that it landed straight in the hole. They all started to run as soon as he threw it.

They were about ten meters from the hole when the grenade exploded, collapsing the hole in onto its self.

"Fire!" Jack shouted as the locust turned to see what had happened.

The spray of bullets ripped the locust to shreds, none escaping the first barrage.

They all kept running till they got to where Rojas and the others were mopping up the rest of the locust that had been in the warehouse.

"Well that worked great," Hastings said to Rojas, "we didn't even have any wounded."

"Same here," Rojas turned to the teens who had just come up, "Status?"

"They tried to get in behind you sir," Jack stepped up, "we took them out, but I don't think they will give up. I think weíre going to have a running fight from here on."

"That's what I'm counting on." Rojas replied.

They all looked up as Daze shouted down. "We better get going!"

"We got at least sixty locust converging on this spot," Daze said as he and Clara came out from the building, "If we're gonna run, we better start now."




Next Chapter Chapter 7: Staggered Retreat

Yay! I just wrote for a couple hours stright nd really fell into a groove! Hope ya like it!

Remember, Feedback is my favorite!

[jinhasda]

kool i think its wicked man great job
:P

[capt dec]

YAY!

nice to see more man that was very cool, the dialouge between rojas and the squad was really good with the commands and stuff this was a lot more action orinteted to so that was pretty good, great work!

[S1leNt RIP]

Thanks dec! It's nice to have a steady fan! I appreciate it.
I've been pretty busy so there is no ETA on when 7 will be up.

Later Homies!