All I've got is a LAncer and a Longshot man
Awesome; I see SKORGE beat me here. No one minds, James. It's just a little bit ill-fitting with the rest of the posts. From now on, describe Locusts as beasts, or creatures, or humanoid monsters, as we don't have nicknames for them yet.
Also, you gots the way too many weapons. But yeah, nice writing besides.
Hey James, just to let you in on some bit for the RP.... Your character seems a little too overpowered. Know what I mean? Not in the sense that he's a Gear, but rather the fact that he knows what the Locust are, has a Lancer with the Bayonet on it, well to clarify:
- Lancer (Bayonet was added after the HoD strikes, so not on Emergence Day, we use Bayonet)
- Locust (We have no idea who they are, what they are - this is Emergence Day)
- Power traits (Character seems to be more Delta like then most of us)
In short, try to tone down the 'Ultimate Bad ass' and go for the more 'Gear, battle-hardened, yet still human' approach.
Phalanx 14 added. It's on the same page as chapter 13.
Phalanx 13 posted.
I've been reading THaB, and I like it, but I have two issues. The first is the short chapters; I find that chapters should be at least 2000 words long, so as to immerse the reader into the story, and to give a significant sense of time.; I personally make all my chapters a minimum of 2000 words, although they frequently go on for longer. Definitely post your work to fanfiction.net. I go through the lists pretty reguarly, so I'll find yours and offer feedback. I need to get back to work on Phalanx 14; Iota Squad isn't going to narrate itself!
Hey, could you do me a favor: You R&R my fanfic, phalanx, and i'll R&R your work?
It's here: http://forums.epicgames.com/showthread.php?t=710246, if you're interested.
Nice to finally have an update on to hell and back.
Hey take out the * at the end of your "Join the Locust!" link in your sig.