My GoW FanFic

[UnregisteredGreyGear]

Hi, this is my first fanfic, so don't be to harsh, I had a cool idea for a story and wanted to share

Private First Class Carlos Jakson peeked around the burnt car he was behind and gasped at what he saw, the scouts were right, this was no regular locust. It was massive with large energy weapons on each of it's monstrous arms and one on it's broad muscular back. It looked like a mutated gorilla with all of its hair and by the way it moved. Carlos thought about the possibility of capturing it for study, but then changed his mind. It was headed towards the temporary HQ, so he quickly thought of how to take it out. His bolo grenades might do the trick, but he didn't really trust his aim so he descided on the hammer of dawn.
His voice crackled onto the team chat speakers as he checked on his teams status, "Team report in, this is Red 3" he said in a hushed tone, fearing not to arouse the locust beast.
"Red 1 is good, I am in position in a building by the monster" this was the voice of Carlos's best friend Damien Krillmer. They went way back, back when Carlos joined up, Damien was there to welcome him to the squad. They had grown nearly inseperable since.
"All systems go for Red 4 as usual, I am in the sewer below the beast ready with charges" said the energetic voice of the Squad's newest member, Roland Ice. He was the team's demolition specialist because the last one was killed in action defusing a bomb nearly two weeks ago.
"No, no demo charges this time Roland, we are using the hammer of dawn so retreat back to my six.
"This is Red 2 reporting in" said the voice of the teams scout, Tom Bastien "I am behind a dumpster a block ahead of the beast. Tom was an expert at stealth and special ops, and was waiting to be promoted to a different unit.
"OK team, on 3 me and Damien use the Hammer of dawn, the rest of you stay put." said Carlos as Roland climbed out of a manhole behind him.
Three seconds later there was a howl of rage as the monster felt the first of the laser, then Damien added his a second later and the monster burst into flame like one of the strike anywhere matches used by gears to light their contra-brand cigarettes.

"What the hell was that thing" said Tom as they regrouped at Carlos' possition and made their way towards the temporary HQ in the parliment building of the medium sized city of Wenlew.
"I don't know but I don't want to meet one in close quarters, that's for sure" said Carlos, his last words dying in his throught as they turned the corner to see the HQ. There were bodies of both men and locust strewn around the courtyard, and the remains of makeshift bunkers were still smouldering from the beating they took, a constant reminder of a battle still raging in the mind's of the survivors that were sitting all over the battlefield or looking at the bodies of their dead soldiers, comrades, friends. A few had gathered enough strength to scavenge for supplies on the bodies, but it was more of a zombie-like shuffle than a scavenge.

When they met the guard at the big oak double doors of the parliment building, Damien asked "What the hell happened here"
The guard was a little disturbed, but managed to answer. "We were just setting up defences when one of our scouts came back covered in blood and badly shaken, but he had enough sence left in him to tell us of a massive locust army aproaching our position. We aren't sure what happened to his bartener, but judging from the bite out of the scouts bicep, we think he was eaten by a drone." The guard fought back repulsion and carried on"That's when all hell broke loose, the bunkers we placed to slow the drones were either blown away by this big monster, or simply jumped over. They fight like deamons up close, the locusts, they would rip a mans throat out and step by onto the next victim. Our only reprive was the King Raven air support. They bombed the attackers and pelted them with MG fire before the brunt of them got to us." The guard sighed, that's all I can say, all newcomers are to see the CO, Follow me, I'll take you to him."

With that the guard turned on his heel and walked down the hall, Red squad following close behind


I hope you liked it, as i said, it is my first.

[UnregisteredGreyGear]

Where is everyone?

[MooseKnuckles]

It's pretty funky :D
The only thing I'd change is spending more time on describing the Brumak actually getting killed, cause even though its a small story, two lines isn't really enough for the main action sequence. Very good idea though

EDIT: PS, it takes forever for anyone to reply to fanfics, after a few days you'll get a stronger response, plus a lot of people don't like reading big sections of text at one time

[NyR Kil0WaTTs]

thats weird. but OK.

[UnregisteredGreyGear]

thx, in the next section, i m going to try to have a battle like the one out of the pics where Marcus is hiding behind the couch. That pic was my insiration for the Parliment building, 'cause they usually have a victorian-ish look to them:)

[UnregisteredGreyGear]

Red team followed the guard down the hall to the CO's office, which was in an office that looked as if it was built for a powerful political leader. The CO's office was a large room that would have been cozy under different conditions, but at the moment, it looked like a war room. The first thing that Carlos noticed is that the CO was not the only person in the office, on his left side was a woman whom Carlos knew. Jessica Clea. She was also someone whom he and Damien went way back with, as she had been their drill instructor during their training at Jacinto Plains academy. He felt reasured at the sight of her, she was one of the best soldiers in the army and had a brilliant tactical mind, which explained why she had been promoted so quickly to the rank of junior officer.
To the right of the CO was a man whom Carlos didn't know. He was about 6'7 with rippling mussles and a strong physique, on his back was slung a gun that looked like a MG that had been torn off it's stand and had a sling added. Then the CO spoke "Hello, I am Senior Officer Markos Mandez, I am sorry you had to arrive at such dark ours, you walked in on us planning our counter attack. This is Junior Officer Clea, and this is Master Seargent McLeat." he said motioning to each as he said this.
He then motioned Carlos forward and said "What is your name son"
"I am Private First Class Carlos Jakson, the Corpral was killed on our way here, so i asumed comand." said Carlos.
"I want to show you our plans for the counter attack" said Mandez. Motioning him to the board on the table.
At that moment an explosion rocked the building, sending the board and all of it's peices flying. A look of sheer horror was forming on the face of Mandez as the brulal realization that this was another attack "It's too early, how can they already be attacking?!?"

Carlos barreled out of the office with Damien not far behind. A little down the hall he found the guard who had greeted them upon their arrival frantically creating a pile of anything that wasn't boarded down."The have broke through the defences outside and are coming this way" he said between moving objects.
McLeat was the third to arrive and unslung his gun, then pulled a small tripod out of his pack. He set up a position a few paces from the barier, with Carlos and Damien crouching behing him, guns ready. The guard went to tell the others and to tell them to get in possition. The plan was that Tom and Jessica would go on the roof with their sniper rifles and pick off key targets, the guard would stay with Mandez, and Roland would support Carlos and Damien.
Once everyone was in possition, the just had to wait. Tom and Jessica took turns informing them of the movement of the Locusts, as they were still battering the oak door to get in. This was made a hard task by the two snipers as they picked off everything with explosives that they could see and shot the locusts on the ram.
But then they got through, Carlos heard them before he saw them, the locust drones charged down the hall that Carlos, Damien, and McLeat were guarding, only to be met by a hail of bulletts. The MG was the only weapon fired, because they had to save bulletts, but it did the job of all three. The locusts were torn to shreds, sputing blood over the walls, before they reached the blockade, but they were slowly gaining ground. Before long, the MG ran out of bullets and had to be reloaded, during which time Carlos and Damien Fired their lancers. The shots rang out into the smoke created by the MG and they could only hear the bulletts bounce off metal as they shot randomly into the mass, ocasionaly there would be the dull thuds of rounds hitting their targets. The lancers were powerful, but only made a few locusts stumble before they kept running. Before long the locusts were a few feet away and were taking fover behind the barrier that was to keep them out.
The MG was reloaded and they started to retreat back towards Mandez's office, firing bursts into the mass of bodies.
"Get us a King Raven ready to go" he yelled at Mandez's guard who ran down the hall towards the back courtyard. "Mandez, sir, come with us, we have to go" said Carlos.
Mandez pulled a shotgun out of his desk drawer and cocked it, "Let's Go!"
They ran full tilt down the hall to King Raven and found it running with a pilot in the front and the guard on the gun, "Get in, hurry, they're right behing you!" and with that, he sent a hail of bullets over their heads.
Once they were all in, the King Raven took flight stopping breifly to pick up Tom and Jessicah on the roof.
"Where to now Corpral?" asked Mandez, looking intently at Carlos.
"Me? Corpral? Thank you sir, i don't know what to say. We are going to Fort Scrimmage, to the south of Jacinto, I have an old friend to see."

[UnregisteredGreyGear]

tell me if you liked this one more than the last one:D

[UnregisteredGreyGear]

hello?
Has ne1 read this yet?

[DeadPool]

I have and i like it. BUT ITS NOT AS GOOD AS MY FANFIC, ARMY OF 1/2!!!!!!!!!! jk, dont mean 2 b mean, i like it

[UnregisteredGreyGear]

I have and i like it. BUT ITS NOT AS GOOD AS MY FANFIC, ARMY OF 1/2!!!!!!!!!! jk, dont mean 2 b mean, i like it
Army of 1/2? Is the guy like a war amp 1 man army?
lol, JK

[pWnyoUNOw]

that was cool keep up the good work.

[pWnyoUNOw]

here let me show you a preveiw of my fanfic.

the locust attacked. humans got off their fat lazy dumbasses and nuked the mofes.:D