Mad Writing Skills (Looking for Writing jobs)

[Shepherdx]

I have been writing since I was 12 I am a great Idea guy to be honest I can come up with a storyline in a few minutes. I guess I get from years of games like Final Fantasy and Xenogears.

I am fast and Skilled I do ask for half payment up front, I have bill to pay after all. If you have questions please contact me at Secondawn@ymail.com

Sample


Sarah
Sarah stood in the center of the room staring at the floor her red hair tied back, a look of pure evil on her face. Across from her stood a young man so scared he could feel his heart beating throughout his entire body. The small light from the window made her stare all the more menacing as she glared at him.

“You ready?” She said making sure to not break her stare.
“Yes ma’am.” The young man replied fear rampant in his voice.
“You don't sound too ready, are you sure?”

Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and gingerly nodded his head. Sensing his fear, she almost felt sorry for what she was about to do, but this was why he was here and there could be no turning back now. The young man stepped in the center of the room his knuckle’s white, fists balled tight to disguise his shaking hands.

“Begin.” She stated the corners of her mouth turning up to form a wry smile.

They both stepped back, moving their bodies to avoid the blows of the other. Sarah took a couple of fake jabs at the young man hoping to ease his fear and convince him he had a real chance at winning the fight. As James swung Sarah back moved quickly aside; grabbing his arm as it passed her nose. She yanked James' left arm hard, and he almost tripped over his own feet as he fell forward. With unexpected speed Sarah gripped him by the throat, and slammed him down hard into the mat flooring. Sarah released her grip and James rolled onto his side in a fit of coughing. Sarah helped James to his feet, as he fought to regain his breath; her finger marks already a dark red against the pale skin of his neck.
From the Corner of the room the other students in the stands had broke into laughter. Sarah looked at James standing behind her trying to keep his eyes from welling up with tears. Looking back at her other students, her anger exploded inside her. She walked over the students in a fit of rage and grabbed Andrew, the biggest of the group, by the back of the neck and pulled him from the stands and threw him face down on the mat. Andrew turned pushing James from the mat.
Just as Andrew spun around he felt her fist impact into his face. Stunned he stepped back only to receive a second blow across the side of his head. Sarah steeped back to allow him to regain his composer. Andrew kicked out at her throat; the heel of his boot just grazed the skin on her neck. Sarah quickly backed up to the end of the mat; not believing he would try such a deadly move on her. Leaping the air Andrew spun his body around with a horizontal twirl.
She watched him doing nothing more than showing off, something she could not let happen. Stepping back as he began the land she put her hand in his middle of his spine using all her force to slam him to the mat. Andrew lay on the mat, stunned, trying to force air back into his lungs.
"Andrew, do you know what you did wrong?" she asked, kneeling in front of him.
“No ma’am.”
“You know my rules, once you’re on the mat the fight has started. But you felt that you need to degrade someone new to the class instead. I remember that you were scared on your first day to.”

Sarah helps out her hand and helped Andrew to his feet.

“Leave my class and don't return, that goes for all of you. The people around you are not your buddies or yours pals they’re your team mates. They depend on you to be there for them just as you depend on them. Treat them with respect so they won't have to think twice about saving your life. Class is dismissed for today, Remember to Practice you stances I am going to be grading them next week. “

Getting their things together the students began to leave. Sarah grabbed Andrew by the arm and guided him from the doorway over to the corner of the room.

“I mean it never come back. You’re dismissed from my class.” She said looking him square in the eye.
“What? You can’t do that!” He blurted.
“I just did. Now leave.” She stated, turning away from him.
“Then give me good reason why.”

Sarah walked to the window; remaining silent as she looked at the endless sunset. The orange was slowly mixing with the purple of the night. In the distance a storm was brewing and soon it would fill the sky darkening the horizon. It seemed strange how something that could be so destructive could give her such a sense of peace.

Andrew paced back and forth, finally getting frustrated he punched the wall.
“Are you going to answer me?” Andrew screamed at her.

Sarah continued to stand there with her hand locked behind her back. He thumped the wall once more and charged at her ready to fight. Sarah closed her eyes and listened to the echoes of his footsteps as they hit the floor. Waiting until the last second she took a deep breath, stepped to the left, and grabbed his arm and neck as he came close. She tripped him with a simple kick and forced him up against the wall, pinning his arms behind his back, she brought her mouth close to his ear so he could hear every word she said.

“Your dangerous and undisciplined you don’t belong in training let alone the Guardians.”
“Don’t think you can tell me what to do, if you don’t teach me then I will go to one of the other teachers.” Andrew bit back, his words muffled by the wall.
“I am the Head Teacher Andrew what I say goes. So face it your training is over.”
“Screw you.”
“I am done with you Andrew. I am going to let you go of you now, and if you don’t leave this room immediately I will put you in med bay. Do you understand?” She said forcing his arm further up his back.
“Yes ma’am.” He managed through the pain.

She released her gripped allowing him to leave, but kept her eyes locked onto him until he walked out the door and down the hall. She let out a sign of relief and finally allowed her muscles to relax. She walked to the nearest of the stands and sat down; placing her head in her hands. All the stress she had held back was now flooding through her body. Never before had one of her students made her feel fear, it was a moment that had made her question if what she was doing was right. Time seemed to pass slowly as she sat there. She had a million thoughts going though her head, but they would all have to wait. Sarah’s' Translink implant started beeping into her eardrum. She sat up straight and pushed on the implant to answer it.

“Yes?”
“Sarah we need you to report to the sanctum at once.”
“Is there a problem?”
“We will fill you in when you get here.”

Grabbing her backpack Sarah swung it over her shoulder as she rushed out the door towards the lift at the end of the hall.

[Henrik]

I'm going to be truthful, I didn't read all of it, because when someone expects to land freelance work in a field such as scriptwriting they should have a very solid grasp of grammar, spelling & punctuation first of all. If you have that, I will give the story a go. Ideas are a dime a dozen, and chances are, someone who is thoughtful about the way their writing appears will have some interesting concepts to write about too - you will see that they take their work seriously.

And in your case, your opening sentence is a run-on without any punctuation at all, capitalizing stuff that shouldn't be capitalized, etc. I'm not trying to sound harsh but I suggest you continue practicing for a few years before attempting to offer writing services.

[Henrik]

Another tip: Calling your post "Mad writing skills" probably doesn't help your case either. If you were a modeler, or even a coder I doubt people would care. If you have mad writing skills, that'll speak for itself. I saw potential in some areas, so don't give up if it's what you want to do. And that's why I'm trying to give you some constructive advice. I believe everyone should do what they love, but sometimes it requires a lot of patience. Good luck.

[katana2665]

While I agree with what Bersy has said, I would also point out that eliminating any 'urban speech' from your repertoire would probably be a good idea. In Addition, I would look to going to college to get a grand grasp at all of the base foundations it takes to becoming a good, not great, writer. You don't have to sell epics to be accomplished, just be able to finish competent manuscripts.

Beyond that, it's just a matter of perseverance. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't be a writer, nor writing on folding tables and working at Blockbuster won't land you a good gig....( I site Joe Casey here...) Anyway, good luck.

[Adamaeus]

Hello, Shepherdx.

It's good that you've taken up writing as a hobby; fantastic that you've elected to turn your hobby into cash. However, if this sample of writing is any example of the rest of your work, you are in need of discipline and practice. I am going to give you a few useful links:

http://www.fmwriters.com/ - Good place for amateurs and newbies to share their stuff and get a variety of crits.

http://www.hollylisle.com/ - Holly Lisle has written many wonderful fantasy novels and, while I don't always enjoy her style, her workmanship is admirable and her advice is worth taking.

http://www.bartleby.com/141/ - "The Elements of Style". This is a wonderful book for writing, not just fiction, but any sort.

These links will help you understand what makes good writing worth reading. Now, I'm going to assign you a list of authors whose work you will read and hopefully enjoy. Each of these writers is a master of the English language.

Ray Bradbury: "The Martian Chronicles", "Fahrenheit 451" and "Something Wicked This Way Comes".

Richard Adams: "Watership Down".

Mark Twain: "Letters from the Earth", "Roughing It", "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court".

George Orwell: "1984", "Animal Farm".

Arthur C. Clarke: "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Rendezvous with Rama"

Each of these writers exemplifies a different strength in their writing. Bradbury is lyrical and metaphorical. Orwell is literal and to-the-point. Clarke can craft entire worlds out of letters, and conjure them vividly in the reader's mind. Twain has an ear for language like none before him and few since. Adams is at times funny, at times frightening, and all the time entertaining.

That's my advice. I hope it helps and good luck in everything you try.

[CrystalCore]

Wheres Tolkien on that list :O
I'm ashamed ;)

[Adamaeus]

Tolkien was not a great writer; a great storyteller, yes, but not a great writer. He takes deliberate lengths to create a world that exists completely in his mind, and to illustrate it in ways that feel, to me, like an instruction manual. The only parts of his books I enjoyed were when the characters got to speaking. That was a joy. But the actual narrative was slow, plodding and--forgive me, but I have to say it--boring.

Good storyteller, definitely, but not a good writer.

(In case you were wondering--yes, I much prefer the films over the novels.)

[CrystalCore]

Tolkien was Rawlinson and Bosworth Professor of Anglo-Saxon at Oxford from 1925 to 1945, and Merton Professor of English Language and Literature from 1945 to 1959.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._R._R._Tolkien

Anyway, i run a team, and while your a good beginner writer, i wouldnt be willing to pay for your services. Get some learning in there my friend :D

[Henrik]

I'd add Stephen King's "On Writing" to that list, much of it is not so much technical but anecdotal, still an interesting read and I think he has some worthwhile things to say about becoming a writer. I am not necessarily a huge fan of all his stuff but I respect what he has to say about being an author and the business.

I'm an aspiring author, in the middle of writing my first novel as well as an animated adaptation. Even I don't go around forums offering writing services, even though I believe I easily could.

[Adamaeus]

I don't think writing for a game and writing for a novel or film are the same beast. True, some games have magnificent stories. Shepherdx mentions Xenogears--and that was truly a beastly story if ever there was one.

The thing is, the game comes before anything else. If the game is boring, no one will finish it however good the story might be.

Story is best used when it directly tethers itself to the gameplay. Materia in Final Fantasy VII for example--it was magic, and it was deeply part of the story. The "Would You Kindly" twist in Bioshock--necessary and wonderful. Or how about Psychonauts? That game's story (kids in a psychic summer camp) was always somehow tied to elements of gameplay. That is story being put to good use.

But if you want to write a novel, just write a novel. Games are meant to be played, not read.

[Henrik]

They're not exactly the same, but you need to be able to grasp the same fundamentals.
I also wouldn't compare writing for a novel to writing for a film.

What they all have in common is that they require smartly written dialogue if that is going to be a factor, which it usually is.

[Shepherdx]

thank you for all the advise, maybe I am a great storyteller but a bad writer. Who knows but I am trying to get better.